Possible Storyline Surprises From Cheney’s Tell-All Memoir

The Washington Post‘s Barton Gellman reports that Dick Cheney won’t hold back in his forthcoming $2 million memoir of his years in the Bush administration. DC powerhouse lawyer Robert Barnett, who negotiated Cheney’s book contract, told the Post that “‘the statute of limitations has expired’ on many of [Cheney's] secrets.”

Among other things, Cheney was reportedly bitter that Bush didn’t pardon his Chief of Staff Lewis ‘Scooter’ Libby, who was convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice in Plamegate, despite the fact that another man, Richard Armitage, was the primary source of the leak.

What other revelations should we expect from the book? Mediaite has a few guesses:

• He’s relieved to let people know about his love of ponies.

• Lynn Cheney still insists on waking up to Tone Loc’s “Wild Thing” on her Bose.

• He LOVES the television show Lost, mostly because he really identifies with Sawyer – another good-looking rebel who plays by his own rules.

• Has not forgiven Bush for refusing lucrative naming rights deal because he thought “Haliburton’s White House” sounded awkward

• Even he finds Glenn Beck to have become a tad unhinged.

• He really misses the government health care now that he’s been diagnosed with a rare medical condition in which his arteries run with bile.

• He does know the real definition of torture — he did serve eight years under President Bush after all

• Grew tired of having to let the President win in their weekly game of Chinese Checkers.

• Bush showed hesitation when he was ordered to destroy the Jedi Temple.

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