Stephen Colbert Tempts OWS Protesters Into Selling Out With His SuperPAC Money

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by Frances Martel | 11:58 pm, November 1st, 2011

» 30 comments

Last night, Stephen Colbert began a mission to turn the Occupy Wall Street movement into his own pet cause, dressed up as Che Guevara and trying to bribe protesters with food and SuperPAC money to hand over their organization. He didn’t succeed yesterday, and so today he continued, offering the two protesters he met with yesterday a personal masseuses, fistfuls of hundred dollar bills, and letting them that their insistence on corporations not being people was racist.

Having sensed that Occupy Wall Street had the potential to become a major movement, and sitting on a war chest of thousands that seemed to have no purpose, Colbert went down and found two protesters willing to meet with him. After trying to feed them expensive food and champagne, the next step was to bring in “Yoshi,” a Japanese masseuse, to calm them down. “She’s with the SuperPAC,” he explained to them dismissively as she began to work on their backs. “We’re popping the champagne, Yoshi’s on the jet,” he explained to them– selling their cause to Colbert would mean living a good life! They declined.

Since their fears were based on Colbert restructuring their message, Colbert explained what exactly he would do to help them out. “Let’s just tweak the message,” he told them, changing a protest sign they agreed with, “corporations are not people,” into something more accessible to Colbert: “corporations are now people.” Needless to say, that didn’t sit well with the protesters, who Colbert then began to call racist for claiming corporations weren’t people. “It seems pretty racist of you to say certain people don’t get to be people,” he argued, adding that it was “dehumanizing” to corporations to treat them that way.

His final effort to sell them his SuperPAC involved a few misplaced quotes (“Jesus said, ‘money talks, bullshit walks’”) and a reminder of a few non-existent movements that could have existed, if only for Stephen Colbert. Those did not work, either.

Watch the segment via Comedy Central, below:

Colbert Report, Colbert SuperPAC, Comedy Central, Occupy Wall Street, stephen colbert

http://pulse.yahoo.com/_A4OJ2F7ADXSD7OMEUUEQDQDZ2Y Dustin Baker

Trying to co-opt the movement into an anti-Romney/pro-Obama movement. Nice bit of propaganda!
Anonymous

So did Stephen really give them PAC money?
Jason

Oh come on.. He’s just a comedian.. nobody takes comedians seriously when it comes to real world events… oh wait, liberals do. Carry on.
Anonymous

I hope this was Colbert’s own stash of cash (or the show’s) because legitimately the FEC could look into this.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_TWK2YYJTTIDLZIVV7NKZM23Z6Q Tyler

As a Tea Party Alliance committee member inside the OWS I welcome Colbert’s Super PAC. I hope other Super Pac money also supports the cause.
Anonymous

http://i.imgur.com/0wDxc.jpg
Anonymous

It’s called satire folks. Even the Grizzly Mama knows about it. Been around for a long time.
OSux

Colbert is just upset that because of OWS all of his viewers are out protesting and no one watches his show anymore.
Anonymous

It ‘s comedy!
Dumbass!
Anonymous

Those two whack jobs are the heart of the OWS movement- and they are massive losers!
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VYUK3HIJFCPFBZUHRHN6HCR5AA MarkfromSavannah

Love the look on Ketchup (bowing to HanoiSteve) every time Colbert changes direction. Have to admit, yesterday and today’s pieces were quite funny. I’m fairly certain there is a good number of OWS whackos whose panties are pretty tightly bunched but oh well, it’s just satire, right?

Oh, and Ketchup? Sally Jesse Raphael wants her damn glasses back!

Should I be embarassed for knowing who Sally Jesse Raphael is?
Anonymous

It’s a joke. Just yesterday he had 2 OWS dorks on for a comedy bit.
Anonymous

its funny you only like it because it makes fun of liberals. POLITICAL HACK ALERT
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VYUK3HIJFCPFBZUHRHN6HCR5AA MarkfromSavannah

Oh, so I’m a political hack because I enjoyed watched Colbert target the lunacy of a couple liberals for a change? Whenever Colbert smacks down conservatives, he’s applauded and congratulated for his enlightenment but when he displays the idiocy of liberals, well now he’s desperate and unfunny!

Dude, sorry but you need to go cry somewhere else!
van

Odd how mediaite refuses to post anything about the rampant sexual assult going on at the flea bagger rallies. But Colbert, now that is edgy stuff. Pulitzer worthy.
Anonymous

I liked the segment because it was good comedy, you liked the segment because it made fun of a group you’re against making you a hack.
http://twitter.com/ZackyBeatz %Zackyatz%Music

OKAY GUYS….
Parody and satire apparently flies over your head,

Stephen Colbert was going to prove a point, how Dick Armey and FreedomWorks bought the Tea Party and directing their anger from Wall Street bailouts, to anti-Obama, radical right wing movement.

and how he then failed to buy out OWS, if anything it shows that

OWS COULD NOT BE BOUGHT, which was his whole point.
apparently it flied just above your heads, next time try to stand taller.
Fizter_schweppes

Pure comedic genius……what a treasure we all have in Mr. Colbert.
Sean68

Ketchup is in-corruptible.
Anonymous

This whole bit was absolutely awesome! I saw part one this morning, and I loved the part where Colbert has steak and eggs and champagne brought into the room. I never knew he had it in him!
Anonymous

Gee, I’m so impressed!
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VYUK3HIJFCPFBZUHRHN6HCR5AA MarkfromSavannah

Be careful Phil. Laughing at the expense of a couple young liberal dolts will get you branded by some here as a – God, do I have to repeat it?

A political hack

There, I said it!
http://twitter.com/TommyBennett Tom Bennett

You’ve got a point. Brilliant comedy. And the conservatives who claim Colbert isn’t funny are responding to their own partisanship.
http://twitter.com/TommyBennett Tom Bennett

He has a multiple award winning television show with massive ratings, dummy.
Silmaril_88

goats that was the whole point of that show.
Hetoimasia

Satire is the word, indeed. I guess The Onion is the closest thing America has to Private Eye in the UK. We don’t have anything that comes close to Daily Show and Colbert Report on British TV though. There was a program called the 10 O’Clock Show, which has just been recomissioned, but it can’t hold a tiny candle to those buggers!
Hetoimasia

Is this Colbert?!
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Jon

If you want to know who is selling out, look at their demands. The Tea Party demands the government stop the bailouts. OWS is demanding a bailout for their student loans. Selling out is intrinsic to their position
Jon

If you want to know who is selling out, look at their demands. The Tea Party demands the government stop the bailouts. OWS is demanding a bailout for their student loans. Selling out is intrinsic to their position