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Two And A Half Men To Open Season With The Funeral Of Charlie Sheen’s Character

» 53 comments

It would seem that Two and a Half Men fans that want Charlie Sheen to return to to the series will have to wait for some kind of Walking Dead zombie crossover episode. Deadline Hollywood is reporting that the show’s new season, the first since Sheen was fired from the series, will feature the funeral of Charlie Harper, Sheen’s character. Considering all the nasty things Sheen has said about the show’s executive producer Chuck Lorre in the past few months, he’s lucky the writing staff didn’t go with the proposed “Charlie is revealed to be a Nazi, pedophile, puppy torturer” storyline.

Dealine gives some details as to how the show will play out:

“Charlie’s girlfriends will come back for the occasion, and his house indeed will be put on the market. The episode will feature potential buyers coming to see the house (as I reported earlier, the list is expected to include real-life celebrities and stars from Men co-creator Chuck Lorre’s other series), with Ashton Kutcher among them. However, I hear he will not be the rightful owner of Charlie Harper’s digs by the end of the premiere episode, with the storyline expected to be extended into Episode 2.”

There’s one big question that still remains. No, not how Charlie dies. The big question is exactly which “stiff” pun the writers will be using. I’ve only seen an episode or so of the show, but I feel safe in betting that there will be at least one.

Here are some of my guesses:

  • “Looks like Charlie’s going out the way he lived, stiff as a board.”
  • “The last time Charlie was stiff for this long, he had to seek medical attention.”
  • (If the character dies of a drug overdose) “Well, this isn’t the first time pill’s have turned Charlie stiff.”

Feel free to guess your own in the comments. I can’t promise a prize for the reader who correctly guesses the right pun because that means I’ll also have to promise to watching the season premiere of Two and a Half Men.

(h/t Splitsider)

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  • Amy

    What a stupid article.
    Did Sheen call Lorre a ‘nazi, pedophile, puppy torturer’ ? I don’t think so so why Lorre would have the right to be nasty ?! N’est-ce pas dumbass columnist ? Lorre is a passive agressive asshole who was the first to insult Sheen not the other way around (via some silly vanity cards if you want to know) and now he does kill of the principal major character of his most successful sitcom..Well..RIP Two and A Half Men, your creator killed you.

  • Anonymous

    As Far  As the “Walking Dead zombie” sthick, didn’t we put up with that all last year? 
    I think, we’re all ready to move on, without the melodrama, from this soap opera queen.
    It was supposed to be a comedy, but not, “Weekend at Bernie’s!”

  • Mia

    Shame they want to go that route – since I predict that they will need Charlie Sheen back on their show if they want to keep it on the air. I won’t be watching anymore. RIP 2 1/2 men – it was a good run while it lasted.

  • Irish189

    Say what you want about Charlie SHeen but he’s the reason that show was popular, and since he’s the main character of the show, yeah you can’t really just get rid of him abruptly

    Better to take the show off the air instead of trying to pull a stunt like this

  • Anonymous

    Who would have thought the Michael J Fox could be replaced on “Spin City”? (Ironically by Charlie Sheen) Maybe Kutcher can do the same for this show?

  • Roderick

    Wow Lorre went all in on this storyline.

    Anyway I could never watch more than five minutes of the show because it wasn’t  that funny.

  • Roderick

    Wow Lorre went all in on this storyline.

    Anyway I could never watch more than five minutes of the show because it wasn’t  that funny.

  • Valkyrie71010

    How about: The show sounds like a stiff without Charley.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Isabel-Maione/1472900538 Isabel Maione

    Don’t think I’ll be watching, Two and a Half men won’t be the same without Charlie. I don’t understand what the beef was about. Maybe Charlie was wild on his own time, but he always went to work, and did his job. He was the reason the show was a hit. Well, time will tell if the show can do good without him.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_AOPGFUIGQXRRJEBC7NDHZQTLKM Tinkerbell

    GOOD WAY TO END HIS LIFE ON THIS PROGRAM BUT I DONT WATCH AS i CANT STAND THE MAN AND HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE NEW GUY WILL BOOST RATINGS. LETS SEE. HE IS PAYING FOR HIS OWN NEW PROGRAM SO IF HE FAILS IT WILL ONLY HIM TO BLAME,AND HE WILL,AS DRUGS R SO POWERFUL

  • Al Gore

    The show’s executive producer Chuck Lorre couldn’t kill Sheen in real life, so he did it in the show to send a message. Pretty dumb.  I think this gives Sheen a lot of ammo for his new show.  I can just see the Sheen Dream sequences now.  He’s having a nightmare about 2 1/2 men and wakes up to find himself in a totally different life.

  • Anonymous

    Why not?

    After all, his career is dead.

  • Anonymous

    The smart people in Showbiz know when a show has run its course.
    Charlie (the real one and the character) was getting too old for this, the 1/2 man is grown up, and it was time to find something completely new but just as funny (or not if you didn’t like it). The real Charlie was crazy like a fox to end it the way he did, with lots of publicity for himself.

    As a human being, not so smart. As an actor who was tired of the role, kinda smart.

  • adler56

    and maybe republicans will do what’s right for the country- sure.

  • Anonymous

    I think whatever happens with this country is likely to be independent of the success or failure of Ashton Kutcher in replacing Sheen.

  • Nature Freak

    Exactly. Charlie Sheen is sometimes underestimated. Sometimes he is crazy like a fox.
    Publicity in Hollywood, whether good or bad, is better than no publicity at all.
    As long as Sheen can defeat his drug and addiction demons, and better manage his bipolar tendencies, Charlie can make a sensational career comeback. He is a major household name like few other modern actors. This counts for something in a publicity addicted world.

    I admit I am biased. I like Charlie Sheen as an actor. And I am very familiar with Bipolarism, both the good and the bad.

  • Nature Freak

    The vanity cards were messed up. Lorre has his own problems.

  • Nature Freak

    Charlie Sheen: “Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber.” 

    Sheen’s saber will be very full of fuel after this. Beyond capacity.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CQWUTBF2KSSVOXCR4PSN66L2PM James

    Spin City got canned 2 years after Charlie took over from Micheal J Fox. It didnt work becusae for the same resion why X-Files got canned. Spin City was bult around Micheal J Fox as the lead. Like X-Files was bult around  David Duchovny as Mulder.

    Two and Half Men is Charlie sheen’s show. Ashtion Kutcher may be a bigger movie star then Sheen was in his prime. But I don’t know if Ashton will do well in the long run. But who know’s

  • Anonymous

    Hollywood doesn’t let a cash cow like Two and a Half Men die without a fight.

  • http://www.constitutionallibertarian.co.cc/ DavidKramer

    Sorry, the show was funny because Charlie was himself, now you are going to bring in a pretty boy to attempt to save a cash cow?

    Oh well, I guess those that watch videos for the purpose of following digital pixels flowing across a screen will continue to watch it. But I imagine that the show will last a total of 10 more episodes at the most.

  • Bmorri6409

    We should not be discouraged that the show is killing Charlie.  Characters can be brought back.  Remember “Dallas”?  When “Men’s” ratings drop dramatically, Lorre and the writers will find a way to bring him back.

  • Andrea

    Yeah, because I don’t see this Ashton Kutcher thing working out too well. 

  • Andrea

    He lived the same life in the media that he did on the show.  I am not sure why you would get mad at him for doing in life what you paid him to do on the show.  A little hypocritical to me. 

  • Rj

    I definitely agree that show had run it’s course two seasons ago. I don’t expect that the addition of a new player will change that. It’s time to count the money and go home.

  • The Troll

    It is time to say goodbye……it has run long enough. Time to go on to the next show………

  • Dayzemae39

    Charlie Sheen is a complete Jerk Off.. For those who THINK that Chuck Lorre Threw out the First Comment Well, we weren’t there were we?? Charlie is an abusive person, that didn’t deserve what he had..It was is own fault he lost his future.. He had a good thing going and he threw it away… Shame on him.. What an example to his FOUR CHILDREN.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QSNJ7UUOTPURXNWZ4BLS7UWTPM Maryann

    They should not kill off Charlie Sheen, just say he ran away with Rose or something like that.  Also, Ashton Kutcher should be introduced as a relative, not just someone who buys the house, without him being related to Alan in some way, it’s stupid.  Chuck lorre should just get over it and bring Charlie Back.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_I6X7552F43V22I2KICZ2K6MHQY Frank

    It`s a shame the #1 comedy sitcom as to start their season with the death of of their #1 character of the show, don`t that in itself tell the story, and how it`s doomed? So much pride here will cost the producers/creators of the show so much money, and the fans their #1 show. It won`t be the funeral of Charlie Harper, but rather the death of the show, so sad….

  • Fsirody

    Dear Amy: Unless you have a real Hollywood connection, I’m stumped not only by your sophomoric ‘inside information’, but by your psychological analysis of Lorre. Maybe if you took 10 seconds to hit a ‘spell check’ before posting, you wouldn’t be an embarrassment to the rest of your 8th (eighth) grade peers.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_J36CXQNTG73NBV6DLL6PRQZ3GA rags

    Ashton Kutcher a bigger star than Sheen in his prime? are you kidding me? Guess you havent seen Platoon.

  • Amardyno

    The show is gonna suck. Charlie Sheen IS Two and a half Men. Ashton Kutcher can’t act to save his life and he’s too tame to replace Charlie. They should have brought in another madman like Colin Farrel. That might work.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_AWYYRASP7L5FGEC6O7OX544UQY dan d

    To me Alan’s life is more real and funny than anything Charlie ever did on the show. Aston was very funny on the 70′s show. Give it a chance. I will watch and give it a chance before I condemn it. 

  • PH

    He should go like Nelson Rockerfeller did. “Nelson Rockefeller Dies in the Saddle during the Act……”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rob-W-Prelle/1206264625 Rob W Prelle

    Agreed R.I.P. 2 and a half men. And all Charlie did was call Lorre by his birth name. Apparently Lorre is ashamed of his Jewish heritage. Well Atleast Charlie will have a new show for us to watch.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rob-W-Prelle/1206264625 Rob W Prelle

    Yeah considering what a prick Lorre was combined with Charlie burning bridges on his end I’m sure that both sides will be “overjoyed” to work together again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rob-W-Prelle/1206264625 Rob W Prelle

    Of course it won’t go well. Ashton Kutcher isn’t funny. He has no talent. All he does is rely on the comedic talents of other actors to carry him through a series.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rob-W-Prelle/1206264625 Rob W Prelle

    Ok, Libtard if you really think Oretardma has America’s best interest in mind you are sorely mistaken. What do you guys do, huh? Scream race when someone disagrees with Obama and, Blame this nation’s issues on Bush. Nothing else and, yeah Bush wasn’t the best or the brightest but at least he meant well.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rob-W-Prelle/1206264625 Rob W Prelle

    Kutcher is not a bigger star. He is just Demi Moore’s no talent husband.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rob-W-Prelle/1206264625 Rob W Prelle

    Funny how all these issues started after Sheen got a new set up and was given a role in the Expendables sequel. he is indeed crazy like a fox. I wouldn’t be surprised if all of this was just so his new show will begin with a shitload of publicity around him.

  • Dave

    Ashton Kutcher  is not that good of an actor, I thought he was really bad in the 70′s show. I’m not gonna waste my time with even watching one episode. They should have kissed Charlie Sheen’s ass to get him to stay.      Chuck Lorre and the rest of them  are a bunch of pompous butt heads that don’t know when they have a cash cow. Fare well Two and a half men, I will miss you immensely.

  • Anonymous

    I hope the show goes off the air because Charlie Sheen was the show.Ashton Kutcher sucks and doesn’t even come close to Charlie.I know I won’t be watching 21/2 men with that loser Kutcher on it.

  • adler56

    dumbya meant well?ou’re a retard if you believe that.
    Take your racist dumbass out of my country.

  • Guest

    RIP Two and 1/2 Men… Charlie was the key to thi show. It was a success due to his character. Everything surrounded Charlie. It’s a shame that the two sides couldn’t come together and continue such a successful show. I love Charlie Sheen. He has his issues (heck, who doesn’t?), but there was no denying his acting abilities. He portrayed that character to a “T”. I won’t be watching the show anymore, sorry :-(!!!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BQ6YYDBHVPE7IGIVIVHKLXNMVU Jeffry Tomas

    Hell anyone who watches television sitcoms knows this show should have spun off into something else when Jake’s character entered puberty.  For whatever reason writers and producers no longer collaborate in respect to that.  As a child actor that boy did remarkably well then began branching into comedic roles within the show.  Farewell Sheen, although I wasn’t a fanatic about the show I could catch the syndication elsewhere.  Good-f*ckin luck Kuchy the biggest mistake you face now is being roped into a dismal failure of a show.  The fanbase that watched primarily for “Harper” will be the toughest ones to draw back.  A dramatic change will need to be made just to keep a constant viewing audience.  The Sept episode will more than likely be the final Two and a Half Men show I will ever watch and that is just to see how vain the ex. producer kills Charlie Harper.  Current local odds are @ 5-1 alcohol related death, and 2-1 it’s a personal and deliberate attack by Lorre at Sheen.  Spin the show off now, it will NOT survive.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BQ6YYDBHVPE7IGIVIVHKLXNMVU Jeffry Tomas

    Hell anyone who watches television sitcoms knows this show should have spun off into something else when Jake’s character entered puberty.  For whatever reason writers and producers no longer collaborate in respect to that.  As a child actor that boy did remarkably well then began branching into comedic roles within the show.  Farewell Sheen, although I wasn’t a fanatic about the show I could catch the syndication elsewhere.  Good-f*ckin luck Kuchy the biggest mistake you face now is being roped into a dismal failure of a show.  The fanbase that watched primarily for “Harper” will be the toughest ones to draw back.  A dramatic change will need to be made just to keep a constant viewing audience.  The Sept episode will more than likely be the final Two and a Half Men show I will ever watch and that is just to see how vain the ex. producer kills Charlie Harper.  Current local odds are @ 5-1 alcohol related death, and 2-1 it’s a personal and deliberate attack by Lorre at Sheen.  Spin the show off now, it will NOT survive.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_Q7LCVE3WDPO3UE3LPAL2GGZP3Y HaroldG

    Where did Charlie get those great shirts? As a teenager during the 50′s every body had them.I myself had  about a dozen all colors.That’s what I’m going to miss,those shirts,oh yea,and those women.

  • lisa mcelhaney

     charlie character will died from a heart attack because he found out Chelsey is having Allen’s baby.

  • MissSleepySyd

    Well I dont think that any this is okay!!! I have been a fan of this show for years now!! And it HAS BEEN MY FAVORITE SHOW SINCE I STARTED WATCHING IT!!!! I had LOVED EACH and EVERY person on it. And I dont agree with changing any person on the show for any reason ASIDE FROM SOMETHING REALLY WRONG AND HAVING TO BE IN PRISON!!!!Or Something else extremly serious. I like Ashton alot and could see him on the show as a lost brother. I think that would be a great idea to try someone new on the show but I ALSO THINK THEY SHOULD KEEP CHARLIE ON AS CHARLIE BUT AND HAVE HIM ON THE SHOW INSTEAD OF JUST DRINKING GO ON DRUG AND HOOKER SPREE WHERE THAT HE GETS PULLED OVER WITH THE DRUGS AND HOOKERS AND HAVE HIM ORDERED TO GO TO RECOVERY AS WELL AS THE REAL CHARLIE AND EVERY SO OFTEN THEY GO TO SEE HIM OR HE CALLS( BUT KEEPING HIM ALIVE ON THE SHOW )AND WHILE HE IS GONE THIS LONG LOST BROTHER SHOWS UP WHO HAS MONEY BUT HAS NO PLACE TO LIVE BECAUSE HE IS REALLY A CON MAN BUT THEY DINT KNOW THAT AND SPOILS ALAN LIKE GETS HIM NICE NEW CAR AND CLOTHES WHATEVER ELSE BUYS SOME STUFF FOR JAKE SO OF COURSE ALAN LETS HIM STAY THERE BUT DOESNT WANT CHARLIE TO KNOW ABOUT WHERE HE IS GETTING THIS STUFF FROM SO HES ALWAYS SAYING ITS BERTA’S HELP IF HE PICKS UP THE PHONE AND THE STUFF HE BOUGHT CAUSE WORK IS GOING SO WELL OR SAYS YEARS AGO HE PUT MONEY ON SOME SMALL STOCKS THAT HAVE ALL THE SUDDEN HIT BIG SO HE SELLS IT OR WHATEVER. OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES BUT CHANGING OR KILLING OF CHARLIE IS NOT A GOOD IDEA AND I FOR ONE DONT INTEND ON REMAINING THE LOYAL FAN I HAVE BEEN. I MEAN WHAT DO PEOPLE EXPECT SOMEONE WITH A TON OF MONEY WHO HAS BATTLED ADDICTION TO ONE DAY DO. HAVE HIM GET HELP BUT HES STILL CHARLIE!!!!!! I THINK ITS AWFUL TO KILL OF OR GET RID OF CHARLIE FOR GOD SAKES HE IS CHARLIE!!!!!!!!!!
                      Signed , Miss Sleepy Syd

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VXQPZAR4ZWWRGM5IZAS4IQ24UQ WLB

    Charlie Sheen is talented and genuinely funny. Ashton Kutcher is the most irritating actor in Hollywood. Chuck Lorre is in for the surprise of his life if he thinks Kutcher can replace Charlie, which leads one to think Charlie knew exactly what he was talking about when he said all those nasty things about Lorre (or is it Chaim Levine?) Besides, Lorre knew about Charlie’s problems with drugs, alcohol, etc. when he cast him in the role of Charlie Harper, so he should have known there would be a few problems along the way. I hope Lorre gets what is coming to him and a good start will be the complete failure of Two and a Half Men.

  • Pierson

    Didn’t like the episode last night.  Charlie Sheen is very funny and I don’t think the show will do as well with Kutcher.  They need to bring Charlie back from the dead. This episode didn’t compare to the other seasons…not funny at all.

  • Linda

    I do NOT think the show is funny NOW. Kutcher plays a character from DUMB & DUMBER and the comments the maid makes (sexual) ….GROSS me out!

  • Krunzz

    I just watched the first episode of season 9, AND THE SHOW SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WITHOUT CHARLIE…WORST OF ALL IS THE DISRESPECT THEY GAVE TO HIS DEATH…Fine, if u reallllllllllllly HAVE to kill him, GIVE HIS FREAKIN memory some respect…give his fans some time to heal, give ur show some time to recover!!!! Lorre sucks.

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