Alan Dershowitz Boasting of His ‘Perfect, Perfect Sex Life’ Gets Brutally Mocked by Twitter
Alan Dershowitz is not just a famed Harvard Law professor known for defending American citizens like O.J. Simpson and Jeffrey Epstein. He is also proud to admit his “perfect sex life” during a live television appearance Thursday night on Fox News’ The Ingraham Angle.
Dershowitz has been, er, pushing hard, on defending himself amongst unproven allegations that he enjoyed friendly benefits from his client, Mr. Epstein, who is now being held in jail under serious charges of sex trafficking brought forth by the SDNY. It is not yet clear if Dershowitz will enjoy a happy ending from this sordid ordeal.
“I have had sex with one woman since the day I met Jeffrey Epstein. I challenge David Boies to say under oath that he’s only had sex with one woman during that same period of time. He has an abnormal amount of chutzpah to attack me and challenge my perfect, perfect sex life during the relevant period of time,” Dershowitz said Thursday. “He’s doing it for money.”
Ingraham noted Boies is currently suing Dershowitz for defamation.
It’s not every day that a regular cable news contributor feels the need to brag about his sexual prowess, but here we are. Unpredictably, wise-ass Twitter went all wise-ass Twitter, and some of the results were funny enough to share on this august Mediaite web page. Please enjoy!
tired: “i’m pounding bro”
absolutely inspired: pic.twitter.com/2dJ8vO9RXG— Brendan Karet ? (@bad_takes) July 19, 2019
I guess it was always going to come down to Alan Dershowitz creeping us all out by talking about his perfect sex life on national television, and I’m only surprised it took this long.
— Tom Nichols (@RadioFreeTom) July 19, 2019
I know that, personally, when I’m innocent and haven’t done any sex crimes and am not at all worried about an impending document release, my first instinct is to go on Fox News and scream at the camera about how I do sex right
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) July 19, 2019
No one had “Dershowitz had a perfect sex life” on their 2019 bingo card stop lying.
— MirriamRichardMarx#1fanSeddiq (@mirriam71) July 19, 2019
“My perfect, perfect sex life” is the phrase you didn’t know you needed to hear from @AlanDersh. pic.twitter.com/75HUTUMgG9
— Anand Giridharadas (@AnandWrites) July 19, 2019
I’m guessing that ‘perfect, perfect sex life’ are his safe words.
— Peter Ames Carlin (@peteramescarlin) July 19, 2019
I mean I’m pretty sure Jeffrey Epstein thought his sex life was perfect as well, given that his whole deal was exploiting young women and getting away with it
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) July 19, 2019
My Perfect, Perfect Sex Life: Coming Soon on Fox
— Benjamin Dreyer (@BCDreyer) July 19, 2019
As evidenced by his use of the word “chutzpah” and the phrase “perfect sex life” in the context of claiming he’s behaved himself since associating with Jeffery Epstein.
— David Leopold (@DavidLeopold) July 19, 2019
“My perfect, perfect sex life” sounds like the endgame in reality television. https://t.co/SKOE8Yf0PX
— T. Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) July 19, 2019
