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Conservative Author Gives Least Inspirational Graduation Speech Ever On Fox & Friends

Larry Winget, author of Shut Up, Stop Whining, And Get A Life, appeared on Fox & Friends on Tuesday where he delivered the single least inspirational, faux-graduation speech you will ever hear.

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“Congratulations on earning your degree,” Winget began. “But the truth is that the degree alone isn’t going to be enough to ensure your success in the real world.”

In the real world, employers don’t care much about your degree, or your happiness, or your income or much of anything that has to do with you at all. They care about what you can do for them. And from this point on, that’s how you have to think.

Winget continued along the theme of fostering selflessness in the name of helping a student’s future employer make a profit:

Businesses exist to be profitable. It is your job to help make them profitable. If you know how to do that – how to be worth more than you cost – then you have value in the workplace. And if you don’t know how to be worth more than you cost, than employers will pass you over and find someone else.

Winget continued to do his best impersonation of Larry from the Bob Newhart Show:

Let’s look at what it really takes to be successful in the real world: first, you have to take responsibility. Your life, your results, your success, happiness, health and prosperity are up to you. When it turns out well, you get the credit. And when it doesn’t work out the way you wanted it to, well, you get the blame. It isn’t up to someone else to make sure you are successful. It’s always up to you, so be responsible.

Preaching the gospel, Winget decided it was time to teach the kids the golden rule – presumably, a lesson he believes is not being taught to school-age children anymore:

Next, respect others. Respect your employer enough to be on time. And give them your personal best every day, because that’s what they’re paying you for.

Respect your boss – even when you think he’s an idiot. Because he’s still your boss and deserves your respect. Respect your coworkers because they respect you. And your customers because they pay you.

Winget told his audience of rapt students by saying that they should disabuse themselves of the notion that they should prioritize their physical appearance — in fact, making and saving money should be their paramount concern:

Then establish clear priorities. Your time, your energy and your money will always go to what’s important to you. If looking cute is important to you, then you’ll spend all your money at the mall. If being financially secure is important to you, you’ll make sure that you save, invest and live on less than you earn.

Finally, Winget concluded by telling his invisible students that their happiness is immaterial. Their days of happiness are, in fact, well and truly over. Now is the time to toil endlessly in order to create profit for their employers. Also, Winget seems to know a series of incompetent and/or lazy idiots:

Last, it’s about work and excellence. It’s not about your passion – as I know people who are passionately incompetent. It’s not loving what you do or being happy every day – you aren’t paid to be happy on the job. You are paid to do your job. Success always comes down to hard work and excellence. And it takes both. Hard work alone won’t cut it – I know people that work really hard, yet just aren’t any good at what they do, so it doesn’t matter. And I know people who are excellent at what they do, but they don’t work hard enough for it to make any difference.

So work hard, and be excellent at what you do every day. And remember this: if any ‘one’ can do it, then anyone can do it.

I wish you the best.

Watch the speech below via Fox News Channel:

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