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Fox & Friends Politicizes Little Girls’ Lemonade Business

Morning shows are, almost as a rule, stupid — inane, inoffensive white noise to help gently wake you up as you stumble over your shoes in the pale, dove-gray light of a new day. Celebrities talking about overcoming such hardships as their original noses, 101 uses for creamed corn, a new scientific study proving that death will kill you — all routine stuff, silly and fluffy. But, sometimes, a story will jump out as so completely idiotic, ill-conceived and ultimately pointless that it risks ruining your entire day.

This is that kind of story.

On Tuesday, Fox & Friends host Brian Kilmeade spoke with the Sutton sisters, pint-size entrepreneurs who started up a lemonade business with some help from their parental “investors.” What could have simply been a very cute, if thin, summer story soon turned into the perfect example of why the politicization of the 24-hour news cycle is weakening and bastardizing the very concept of what, exactly, serves as news.

The interview started off innocently enough, with Kilmeade asking the two girls, ages 4 and 7, about their business, including their favorite employee. (“He’s a very cute and hard worker,” they said of their brother. Aw!) But, then…

Kilmeade: Clara, how do you feel about the President saying that you needed help to start this business. And just speak from — speak from within. All right, you know what? Let’s switch over to —

Younger sister Eliza yawns. Clara begins to speak.

Kilmeade: Why don’t you answer that one?

Clara, age 7: I would say that’s rude because we worked very hard to build this business. But we did have help.

Kilmeade: And your help came from?

Clara, age 7: Our help came from our investors, our dad and stepmom, along with other friends and family.

But tell us, Clara. Do you think green energy is doomed to fail?

By all means, use your platform to critique the President’s politics, but don’t rope in children too young to fully understand and articulate their thoughts on politics and economics to come and parrot your talking points. Also: Why is this news? Why was this on our screens? Because if the point of the segment is something like “FROM THE MOUTH OF BABES: OBAMA MUST GO!,” you might have been better served with that aforementioned segment on creamed corn, which has about the same bearing on the national discussion.

You’ve ruined my entire day, Fox & Friends. The entire @#%$ing day. Irrecoverable.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to drown my frustration in a little gin lemonade while I teach this infant how to set up a straw man.

Have a look, via Fox News:

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