ESPN Writer Uses Every Gun Metaphor In The Book To Cover Gilbert Arenas

by Dan Fogarty | 4:06 pm, January 7th, 2010

» 2 comments

If you’ve followed the Gilbert Arenas saga over the last few days, odds are you’ve heard plenty of unfortunate wordplay regarding Arenas and firearms, whether it was regarding his team’s former name (the Bullets!), his position (shooting guard!), or the fact that, now that he’s suspended, he has plenty of time to work on his “shot” (badum-ching!). A potential comedy goldmine, if there ever was one.

This strong correlation between NBA verbiage and ways to describe shooting a gun isn’t lost on ESPN TrueHoop’s Royce Webb, who uses no less than 39 firearm-related metaphors in his article, aptly titled “Gunplay” (guns + wordplay = gunplay). Here are some of the best, thankfully not in bullet-point form:

“Players shoot all the time — they fire away, they launch from outside, they let it fly, they have a quick trigger, they hit baskets, they shoot the lights out, they’re right on target, they’re long-range bombers. Players steal the ball, trigger the fast break and throw bullet passes for slams.”

Sportswriters everywhere, rejoice. Now, when you’re writing your Gilbert Arenas article, you have a handy cheat sheet for every bad gun joke you can make.

http://lnsmitheeblog.blogspot.com LNSmithee

Sportswriters everywhere, rejoice. Now, when you’re writing you’re Gilbert Arenas article, you have a handy cheat sheet for every bad gun joke you can make.

Uh huh. Kinda like MSNBC’s David Shuster emptying his dirty mind of penis/scrotum jokes and leading the way for Rachel Maddow and Keith Olbermann.
tjl

Smithee from downtown!!! …. And he misses. Not sure how you equate MSNBC’s coverage of the tea parties with a piece about ESPN writing on the Arenas situation, but it’s your world and we’re all living in it. Nice try, Michael. Also, Smithee, I missed your overtly racist commentary… going soft on us?