Glenn Beck Launches GBTV By Comparing Himself To Walt Disney And Showing A George Soros Cartoon

34:14 – Glenn Beck is now showing us designs for his new, high-tech, three-sided chalk board. I swear to God. This is a real thing that is happening.

35:50 – Beck has begun a story on the charity work in Joplin with a clip of him saying the story isn’t about him. Odd move? Yes. But fortunately he cancels it out with the first fat joke of the special by saying we wouldn’t want to see him in one of Anderson Cooper’s shirts. Nice save.

36:41 – The Joplin video report is scored to what sounds like a variation on Elmer Bernstein’s Magnificent Seven theme. I understand that it’s supposed to evoke Americans acting heroically and I absolutely love that song, but there’s something kind of cheesy about its usage in this context.

37:18 – Following Welles and Disney, Beck’s next reference point is Paul Newman. Six more fat jokes.

38:47 – GLENN BECK CLOTHING LINE! GLENN BECK CLOTHING LINE! GLENN BECK CLOTHING LINE!

38:53 – The clothing line is all for charity apparently. But still…GLENN BECK CLOTHING LINE!

40:20 – There it was! Beck’s voice just cracked for the first time! Can you guess which topic got him choked up? I’ll give you a few seconds of scrolling to lock in your guesses.

…

Ready?

…

If you guessed “Israel,” then you’re right! Congrats!

43:50 – Now a montage about the Israel rally. Don’t recognize the music for this one. Sorry, guys.

46:45 – Full on crying now. The cause appears to be mark ups for GBTV newspaper ads. Still, as much as I’d like to make fun of a guy for crying over an ad, this is a big deal for him. It’s his company. That’s worth a tear or too.
But, yeah…it is kind of goofy.

49:00 – Oh my lord. They are actually doing a full animated series about George Soros called Spooky Dude. Not only that, but Beck claims Spooky Dude will be his “mouse” in reference to the Disney comparison earlier.
Yeah, you may think Soros is “spooky.” But that comment was “creepy.”

49:22 – I’m not sure, but I think Beck may even be doing the voice work on Spooky Dude. So. Freaking. Weird. This is the first thing I’ve seen so far that I’m going to flat out say is probably going to be a complete disaster. Seriously, where could this show possibly go?

51:00 – Beck: “I’ve told my staff, ‘GBTV is not a noun. It is a verb.'”

And there we have it.

The special may have seemed more like a shareholders meeting than a piece of entertainment, but we did learn a lot about the network. And, sure, some of this may look silly to non-devotees, but I’ll say it again; if Beck does this right, he really is leading the way towards the next step in media broadcasting. This is the future. It really is.

Except for the Soros cartoon. If that’s the future, I’m buying a damn time machine.

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.