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Learning Of Personal Tragedy From The Media: Dan Abrams’ View From The Other Side

by Dan Abrams | 11:17 am, July 8th, 2010

» 44 comments

julia In my office I keep a picture from Newsweek dated June 18, 2001 of Bill McVeigh, father of Oklahoma City Bomber Timothy McVeigh, learning that his son’s appeals were finally exhausted. He is seen with head in hand, MSNBC on in the background. I am the reporter on the screen informing him that, in effect, his son would be executed. I keep it as a reminder that the words we in the media use can mean everything.

This week I felt what it’s like to be on the other side. I learned of a personal horror not from an emotional, personal phone call or visit but via the impervious and anonymous media. I learned about a heartbreaking event occurring to a loved one through the eyes of someone who did not know or care about her — and felt the helpless frustration of wanting “the media” to say more and less.

Headline: “Woman found dead off RPV Cliff – Father says daughter was devastated by mom’s death but says it’s not a suicide.”

That is how I first heard that one of my few and truest loves, Julia Rolle, died this weekend by falling or jumping off a cliff in Palos Verdes California. I had not spoken to Julia in years and since we don’t really share any of the same friends, I probably never would have seen the article in the Dailybreeeze.com if not for a friend who just happened on it (subsequently the Huffington Post picked up the story).

I don’t blame the reporter, Sandy Mazza at all. In fact his or her report was the sort of nuts and bolts report that reporters are trained to do. Stick to the facts, but don’t ignore the obvious possibilities.

“Investigators believe Julianne Rolle, 39, might have committed suicide, but her father believes she likely accidentally fell off the approximately 100-foot cliff.”

So Sandy Mazza, a reporter for the Daily Breeze in California, informed me that the person — who used to be a love of my life — may have ended her own life two months after her mother Terry died.

I met Julia thirteen years ago while covering the OJ Simpson civil trial together. Julia spoke about her mom constantly, and with the sort of fondness, love, and pride that you generally hear when someone is talking about his or her child. I knew that to win over Julia, I had to win over mom. Terry Rolle knew that too, and so she decided to stack the deck in my favor. I recall clearly the first time we met, as she tried to make sure I did not feel nervous meeting the “rents” for the first time. She acted as if we had known each other for years, as if she was going to say “it’s so good to see you again.” Then there was: “So Dan, Julia has told us so much about you, and we hear you are doing so well.” Ha. Thanks Terry.

Julia and I dated for a year and a half in the late 90’s and then again for about four months a few years later after we bumped into one another at another news event. She broke my heart, and then, maybe, I hers.

Terry Rolle must have battled cancer for at least 20 years. In fact, she was just overcoming a bout with it when I met Julia. In many ways her mom’s illness came to direct, even define, Julia’s life — where she would live and how she would be feeling. Consequently, Terry was often more concerned about how Julia would respond to any bad news than about her own fate. Terry once confided in me about how worried she was about Julia throughout her cancer treatment. She wanted to make sure that I would help support Julia if things went south again.

But, of course, I should understand as well as anyone that all of that “color” would not really make it into a short story about Julia’s death. So it was difficult — no, maddening — to see a story that depicted her as little more than a troubled soul who may have taken her own life.

“A hiker discovered the woman’s body on the rocky shore at the bottom of the cliff about 1 p.m. Sunday near the 6500 block of Sea Cove Drive, just east of the Terranea resort. Her body was recovered by a lifeguard vessel later that day, authorities said.“

Ugh. Every time I read that paragraph tears welled up at the antiseptic nature of the description. I can’t help but picture her lifeless body being put into a “vessel” by people who did not know her. I felt like screaming. “She is not just a BODY!” She may have been the kindest, sweetest, most caring person I had ever met. But alas, for the purposes of media coverage she is just that, a body.

“Her father, Eugene Rolle, believes she may have died Saturday shortly after she left his nearby house, where she sometimes stayed.

“I think she fell,” Rolle said. “I knew she was feeling really emotional. She took off and didn’t come home. It cuts so deep. It’s such a tragedy at her young age.”

Gene was always the type to try to see the positive side of life. Gene and Terry were probably hippies back in the day, but the type of hippies who took that free spirit and translated that into an appreciation of life in their later years. Working hard, appreciating great wines, traveling, Gene surfing at their small beach house, always smiling and obsessing over their Julia. That lifestyle and joie de vivre was their new Woodstock. I still have a set of stones that Gene bought Julia and me that were supposed to bring us luck.

“Julianne Rolle was devastated over the death of her mother, Theresa, about two months ago, Rolle said. She moved back to the area – renting a nearby apartment in Rancho Palos Verdes – to be closer to her family several years ago when her mother became sick, he said. Julianne Rolle was a network news producer who worked in New York and overseas before returning to California to take a job at TV Guide Entertainment. An only child, Julianne Rolle was raised in San Pedro, where she went to elementary and high schools. After graduating from UCLA, she became a producer for Fox News in New York. She traveled through Europe and worked as a bureau chief in Iraq, covering the war, her father said.”

Thank you Sandy Mazza for including the part about her giving up so much to be near her mother. For a moment the story felt personal and real. Terry repeatedly beat cancer with grit, determination, a smile, draconian chemo treatments and the love of Julia and Gene. Every time Terry became ill, Gene was her anchor, sometimes just sitting with her through her chemo-related suffering, talking about their future, their past and the beauty of the world around them. Julia? Well she gave up everything to be with her ailing mom – her job, certain relationships, and friends.

“She’s been through war zones and everything, but nothing like losing her mom,” Rolle said. “I think she was (standing on the cliff) because she was very emotional. She went there often for peace, for calming and centering.”

I am sure she did. Like her parents, Julia had a little bit of that hippy spirit that I could never totally relate to. Despite having one of the most stressful jobs around, Julia always managed to appear totally calm and at peace, with a small grin in some of the most stressful situations. Professionally, she was a paradox — a seemingly laid back, sweet California girl battling with tens of other hard-nosed bookers for the “get.” She thrived in that arena based on a quiet and classy charm that allowed her to shine, without turning a light on herself.

While she was great at it, and surprisingly competitive, Julia never seemed to really love the booking part of the job. She did, however, love breaking news and following world events. I remember talking to her about her decision to ask to cover the war. She was not an adrenaline addict looking for excitement. No, I think she just wanted to see it for herself so she would know where it all belonged in her world, and in her head. She was never content to accept others accounts, she always wanted to see things, cities and events for herself.

“A week before her death, Julianne Rolle was arrested on suspicion of misdemeanor drunken driving by Los Angeles police. The June 28 arrest occurred at 5:30 p.m. in the LAPD’s Harbor Division. She was due in court July 20.”

Huh? Julia? My reactive side thought, how dare they report that? Let her die in peace! But of course they had to report that. It raised the chances that either she was drunk and fell or that she jumped. It showed me how much she must have been suffering.

Julia had seen a disproportionate number of close friends die in accidents so I could not imagine she would have driven drunk, but then again, I had not seen her in years and certainly did not know the Julia Rolle after Terry passed away.

“Los Angeles County sheriff’s homicide Detective Chris Bergner said he is still seeking answers to some questions in the death, including when she died and whether she was under the influence of alcohol.

“It’s still under investigation,” Bergner said. “Nobody witnessed it. We don’t have any information that she was (with anyone). We’re working with the coroner on the investigation.”

Since then, the authorities announced that they believe it was a suicide. After talking to Gene, I am not convinced that is the case. She was suffering, she visited a spot on the cliff far too close to the edge where she had been many times before, and maybe even had a drink in her, but Julia was a fighter and wouldn’t have just thrown in the towel. But I also understand why those who did not know her might think otherwise. We will never know for sure but either way her pain is now my anguish.

The irony is rich. A TV producer whose life is cut short and a loved one/member of the media feels the media coverage didn’t do her justice. I get that it’s not a particularly sympathetic position. But that is the point. I have reported on tragedy for years and never felt the pain of learning of one in this manner.

Everyone in the media could experience this at least once. We all should feel the emotions, frustration, rage and powerlessness of hearing frightening words about a loved one for the first time, written or uttered by people to whom we have no emotional connection. That doesn’t change the fact that we have to do it – and can do so responsibly, as Mazza did here. But it’s a heck of a way to get some important perspective.

Apart from her parents and friends, journalism was Julia’s great love, so she would have understood the media’s inherent limitations. In fact, knowing how humble she was, she might have said she deserved little more than the Daily Breeze article.

I disagree.
dan_julia

Dan Abrams, Julia Rolle

C0nstant

sorry for your loss dan, did you see this? http://newsbusters.org/blogs/bob-parks/2010/07/07/fnc-producer-commits-suicide-left-classless
ifpff

My sympathies, Dan. It is a good thing to reflect upon. I think it is a great piece, and it serves your friend well. Being mindful of humanity when you’ve got all its affairs or struggles under a microscope is absolutely a crucial thing.

While it is the nature of the beast, and not enough time or space on a TV spot or article to do any one person much justice, or offer much respect, the roots of these things should not be far from mind when seeing them on the television. And, as a reader, I am happy to know that they are not far from yours.
Iris

Dan, a beautiful and insightful article. I am so sorry for those she left behind and hopefully she has found peace.
http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Obara/100000716419586 John Obara

Loved to watch Dan on msnbc
Loved that he wasnt todays noise, nut a fair and kind man.
marigrace

I am sorry and sad for your loss, Dan. And for the loss of a beautiful young woman. Thanks for the article.

.
renee_rtp_nc

Dan, I have been a fan of yours for years and recently started following you on twitter. I am sorry for your loss and I can imagine it was difficult to write such a personal and tragic story. This piece and the lessons learned by writing it are the very best ways to honor the memory of your dear friend.
AngelPeters

I’m sorry for your loss, Dan.
JRG

Very touching piece and a good reminder to people who must tell stories about tragedies such as this.
Lisa

I am so sorry for your loss. A beautifully written piece and what an honor to your lost friend that you have made her a person in your reader’s eyes and not just a faceless story. My heart breaks for her Dad for both of his tragic losses.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Angela-Clare-Phillips-Mills/100000210471762 ledzepfan

Dan,
So very sorry for your loss.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Kathy-Kitt/628413749 Kathy Kitt

So sorry for you loss. A beautifully written article. It can be difficult to articulate how losing someome effects you. You did that and also eulogized someone you cared very much for.
tiredofbs

Very heartfelt piece, tragic loss.
Condolences for your loved one.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Tina-Fulkerson/897055006 Tina Fulkerson

Thank you for honoring Julia this way. She is deeply missed by those of us she left behind.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Gina-Pintarelli/1650090842 Gina Pintarelli

Hi Dan!! I just wanted to thank you for a beautiful tribute to my childhood friend. Our parents were “hippies” together & we did alot of camping as kids. My heart so breaks for Gene!! He & my Father have been friends since HS.
I am so saddened about this & the loss of Terri!!
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Martin/43100610 Jon Martin

Wow that’s really sad and tragic… she looked like a friendly beautiful woman… I bet she would appreciate this article.
jbbeer

Dan,

Friends of Julie’s are going to look at starting a scholarship fund in her memory at San Pedro High School, or UCLA.. Let me know if you’re interested.
http://kamigladich.com kami gladich

Dan, thank you for this poignant article. I knew the kind and amazingly sweet Julie in high school but, sadly, didn’t have the pleasure of keeping in touch after. I was so proud to learn of her independence and accomplishments throughout the years. Thank you for sharing your side and revealing a few more pages in this beautiful person’s life.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Angela-Bibby/1243222393 Angela Bibby

Beautifully written, So Sorry
Ted

These are the things that really matter. Thank you for this story.
lonestar77

Very nice piece. Well done.
victoriainnyc

Thank you Dan for sharing insight on an old friend from my hometown. Julie & her Mom were beautiful souls that will be missed by many.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Mica-Carr-Mullin/1280767770 Mica Carr Mullin

Dan,
I don’t know you but I was friends with Julie or as we called her Julieanne or Jules back in the day. We were childhood friends starting at about 3 years old. I spent a lot of time with there family growing up at the beach in Genes old Duster, gene playing country roads on the guitar at the tide pool walks, and much more. You portrayed Jules and Terry and Gene perfectly. Glad you got to shed some positive light on this story because it was very disturbing to read the headlines of “Woman found off RPV cliffs” Julie was not just a woman she was beautiful, amazing person inside and out. I had not seen her in years but my Mom and I attended Terry’s funeral at St. John Fischer a few months ago where she delivered the most amazing eulogy I’ve ever heard. It contained pure beauty and love and admiration she had for her Mother. Having three kids of my own today her words she spoke about her Mom and their relationship changed me that day. Her loss is tragic. She will be missed in so many ways.
Thank you again for this story. My heart goes out to Gene.
Mica Mullin
http://www.heartland.org/environmentandclimate-news.org/ClimateConference4 Just Tex

This is a very touching tribute, that couldn’t have been easy to write.

Thank you Dan, for having the courage to overcome what most certainly must be deep & nearly overwhelming grief, to share a little bit of Julia, & of yourself at the same time.

To have touched you so deeply, considering that many of us perceive you to always be a rather hard edged, hard headed, opinionated & fully driven type A personality individual, Julia must have truly been a special, spectacular, & a very rare type of person.

Having experienced tragedy, it seems the best thing to do now is remind you that there are only two things in our short life, that truly do matter.

One of the things that do matter, are each & every one of our triumphs that we manage to accomplish in this life.

The other thing that truly does matter in life, are each & every one of our tragedies, that we struggle to understand & overcome.

Combined, these two things do more than everything else, to define who we are, & who we will become.

Clearly, Julia added a huge new dimension into your life, and it remains in the deepest reaches of your soul. You may have never been able to gain any of the things she was able to give, had you never been able to know & love her. Even in her loss, that is an ongoing and very special blessing.

And, in an albeit much smaller way, through your unrestrained writing, Julia’s life has done a tiny bit of the same thing, for each & every one of us, reading about her through your eyes & through your experiences with Julia too.

So thank you. Without you, most of us probably wouldn’t have known what a special person Julia has always been. Now because of you, we’ll be able to keep some small part of her alive, living within parts of our hearts & minds, that even once long forgotten, will continue to do their work, shaping & reshaping who & what we are, & what we will become.

My thoughts & most heart felt prayers are with you, & with Julia’s family too, as each of you celebrate her life, & soulfully mourn her loss.

Tex
Michael_T

C0nstant.

I bet in retrospect you wish you could delete your post.

Very insensitive on your part.

RIP Julia Rolle … I’m sure your dear friends and father will never forget your beautiful smile.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Tim-Kordic/1320631794 Tim Kordic

Ditto… I wanted to thank you for what you wrote. Julie was a very close friend of the family who we loved dearly, I knew her from high school, and was one of my sister’s good friends. My sister was one of the tragedies that Julie probably talked about, she was killed by a drunk driver in car accident when she was 21. Your description was so perfect, it is how I would of described Julie and her parents myself. I felt the same rage and frustration when reading the article from the Daily Breeze. It made me feel a lot better to hear it expressed so clearly and honestly. Thanks, again.
http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/best-nitric-oxide-supplements-does-nitric-oxide-work-for fb100001324563397

Dan Abrams is one of the few remaining objective journalists on cable TV.

But sadly much more emotional approaches to news, from Keith Olbermann to Nancy Grace, often sell better. Even the Network news has increased the time it spends on so called “human interest” fluff, rather than “just the facts ma’am”.

The article above was an interesting reflection on this state of affairs.
http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/best-nitric-oxide-supplements-does-nitric-oxide-work-for-building-muscle-2547513.html
http://lauriebethsgrotto.wordpress.com Laurie Beth

I’m so sorry. This is such a tragedy and I’m sorry you had to find out this way. She was gorgeous.

Thanks to you, I know that it was my loss that I didn’t know her. I hope treasured memories of her will warm your heart and comfort you in the days ahead. I’m very sorry for your loss.
PaulaWis26

Thank you Dan. Julie (as we called her in middle and high school) will be missed terribly. It is such an awful awful tragedy – and I too wonder what she was thinking, feeling these past few months. Julie was so giving to others, always bringing sunshine to a room, to others’ lives, but she held her own feelings close to her heart. she was often a closed book, not wanting to talk about herself – but always interested in those around her, the world, world events, etc. Her family has seen too much tragedy and loss of late and I hope and pray Gene will find strength and courage to move past this… and you are so right , is a font of strength, always finding the positive, bright side of things.

I will miss her terribly. Thank you for this wonderful tribute to an amazing, beautiful woman.
Paula
Pablo

Condolences, Dan. She’s a beautiful lady, and I’m sure her loss is deeply felt by those who loved her.

On the media aspect of this, here’s a piece that could have been written by Frances, Glynnis, Tommy or Colby and appeared on Mediaite, had Gawker now written it first. As we’ve learned from these deeply thoughtful writers, the most important question in any story is “How can I tie Fox News into this?”
C0nstant

Michael_T said:
C0nstant.

I bet in retrospect you wish you could delete your post.

Very insensitive on your part.

RIP Julia Rolle … I’m sure your dear friends and father will never forget your beautiful smile.

i do no such thing. the liberal pussies trashed her because who she used to work for, and you call me insensitive? wise up jackwagon
http://www.facebook.com/people/Megan-Manni/666501820 Megan Manni

Thank you, Dan, for adding more backstory. I worked with Julia in New York and she was a close friend for many years. She went back to California about five years ago and we’d been in touch intermittently. Like you, I found out about her death through the article – it took me a minute to figure out why it was posted, what it was, and when I saw her name, I sat there saying “this can’t be real, this can’t be real…” over and over before my eyesite was blurred by tears. It was horrifying. It WAS maddening. I felt the same way you did.

Julia did have such a close bond with her mother, and she was so strong – they both were. Really amazing women overall, as well. I agree, she is NOT just a body – she was a beautiful soul: smart, warm, loving, modest and self-effacing, lighthearted… I just have to keep remembering, as frightening as it is, that she has left her body; and I grieve over never being able to see her again, but knowing that her loving spirit is still out there. She was bright, funny, fun-loving, genuine, loyal, friendly, bubbly, always laughing, smiling, giggling, but she also knew how to work her ass off. But I agree, for the most part, Sandy Mazza did a good job.

Unfortunately, in the follow-up to this article that reports the death was ruled a suicide, the insensitivity ruled and I was incensed at reading it. It seemed like the police did little more than connect dots and say “ok, mother’s death, possible alcohol, sadness = suicide.” I am so glad to have read your article because I too was thinking Julia wouldn’t do that. She was such a fighter, like her mom, determined not to let things get her down. In fact I’ve rarely ever seen her without that gorgeous smile widely shining. But again, I too didn’t know Julia at her worst – we’d confided in each other a lot, but there was obviously a part of her that suffered that she kept hidden. So in short, we’ll never know 100% for sure. I don’t know the details of the investigation, and I guess I have to trust what they say, but the way Coroner’s Lt. Fred Corral said it is REPREHENSIBLE: “‘When you go to these locations, you don’t go for the view,’ Corral said, of the 100-foot-high cliff where Rolle reportedly jumped off.” Are you serious, Corral? Is this funny to you? How about the hundreds of friends and family mourning her right now? I think he should be reprimanded for such callousness, and Sandy should’ve chosen a better quote for the follow-up article.

Julia DID go there for the view, it was one of her favorite things. She knew those cliffs well. She went there for peace. It was her happy place. And I don’t appreciate a coroner making light of a tragedy that will cause me and hundreds of other people around the world who knew Julia grief for years to come.

I had the same reaction to the DUI report! I said, “That’s not Julia.” Indeed, it may not have been – not the one we knew, not the one that dominated her personality 90% of the time – this may have been her demons personified, and I am sure she was mortified about it. I feel for her and wish I could’ve been there to save her, to catch her, anything. One of the biggest tragedies is that despite all of us who knew and truly loved her – none of us were able to reach her where she suffered – there are so many paradoxes – she loved her father so much. It may make a little more sense now than when I first saw it, but I’ll always have questions in my mind and heart. But it hurts me that she suffered nonetheless.

Trying to figure out what happened is futile anyway; after hours of crying my eyes out in disbelief and sadness, I know she’s gone, and I believe that she is a spirit with her mother now, and quite possibly an angel watching over us all. I agree – I think she deserved the best. I hope heaven is enough :) I hope she has peace and all she’s ever desired, and that closeness with her mother.

Thank you Dan for sharing your thoughts and feelings, for taking it to the next level and realizing it can be a lesson to us media-types (I’m reformed – I’m in publishing now thank goodness), and most of all for sticking up for Julia. We’ll all mourn her and miss her, but her smile will always be in our hearts and will help us heal.
RichD

Dan, What a beautiful tribute to Julia. I was Julia’s supervisor at Fox News Channel during her Mother’s first bout with cancer in the late 1990′s. Her prognosis was not good then and Julia took time off to go to California to be incubated with her Mother while she received cancer at the City of Hope Hospital. To Julia, her family came first. Julia also put her friends first and was an incredibly loyal person. Julia was a talented news person who got the facts, got the interviews and maintained an incredibly professional demeanor. Because she was so good she was promoted from desk assistant to associate producer. I sent her into the field because she loved the news business and did an excellent job. Julia was a beautiful person in so many ways — her kindness, thoughtfulness, fairness. She loved people. I always said to Julia “it doesn’t matter what goes on here, because the news will always be there, but your life and family are the most important things…You don’t think about the stories you missed when you’re dying, you think about whether you spent enough time with the people you love.” Julia was not just a body or just a sold news producer. She was a caring person who contributed a great deal to make others happy. This included her mother. Maybe she should have saved more for herself. But she was loved and she loved. That’s her legacy. I can’t help but feel there’s an angel up in heaven now watching over all of us. I bet she’s telling us to keep things in the right balance. Love greatly. Be loved deeply and to try and do your best to make the world a better place. I know Julia did. Thanks for all you did. God bless. RichD
jrcmi

fb100001324563397 is so sad it was all he could do to post a spam link.

Pablo is so heartbroken that he uses Dan’s personal tragedy to take a swipe at his co-workers.

SUNNY showed up to post spam. Period.

“C0nstant. I bet in retrospect you wish you could delete your post.”

“i do no such thing. ”

Retrospection and introspection are not prized by the right.

Newsbusters spanks Gawker for accurately reporting that Ms. Rolle had worked for Fox. Since evidence of actual anti-Fox bias is so slim, Newsbusters CREATES some by gratuitously repeating selected, insensitive reader comments that have no bearing on Gawker’s editorial content or policy. (The actual first comment on Gawker’s site is from a rightie who calls them “duche [sic] nozzles.”)

This says more about Newsbusters’ editorial judgment than Gawker’s, and it ain’t pretty.

RichD briefly notes his work at Fox, explaining how he came to know Ms. Rolle, as prelude to a gracious and glowing elegy.

Those of us who have worked in the media are no different than anyone else when bad news reaches us. It is tragic that Dan had to hear this news in such a cold, objective fashion. Unfortunately, that is the nature of good reportage. “Who-what-when-where-why” are the guiding words for proper news coverage. Sometimes, sadly, such efficiency inadvertently causes unnecessary pain.

Dan, take some comfort in knowing that your friend is now at peace.
Pablo

jrcmi said:
Pablo is so heartbroken that he uses Dan’s personal tragedy to take a swipe at his co-workers.

Sorry, but I tend not to get heartbroken over people I’ve never heard of before. Asd for a “swipe” at Dan’s employees, do you read this site? I made an accurate observation and if you don’t like it, you have every right to scroll on by. But I can see that you’re so heartbroken that you felt a need to do a review of this thread. That’s awfully weird.

Retrospection and introspection are not prized by the right.

Oh, that’s touching. And introspective.
jrcmi

“Sorry, but I tend not to get heartbroken over people I’ve never heard of before.”

So why did you bother to post rather than just “scroll on by”? Instead, you go out of your way to take a swipe at Dan’s co-workers. Were your “condolences” sincere?

“But I can see that you’re so heartbroken that you felt a need to do a review of this thread. ”

No, I noted the callousness of people like you and Newsbusters who ghoulishly take advantage of a troubled woman’s misfortune.

“‘Retrospection and introspection are not prized by the right.’

Oh, that’s touching. And introspective.”

It wasn’t meant to be touching; it was meant to be truthful. Thanks for proving it successful in both aspects.

It’s “awfully weird” to call out people and organizations for rude and inappropriate behavior?
ca562dude

I am TOTALLLY Shocked by this and Deeply sadden, we were on the same Cheerleading Leading Squad in High School ” San Pedro High – 88″
http://www.facebook.com/people/Paula-Duffy/1140472912 Paula Duffy

Dan, I’m sure this wasn’t easy to write for you. I admire your honesty about how the second try at romance ended. You are correct that everyone in media should experience what you did, reading someone else report on a tragedy that deeply affects them. Thank you for showing us part of you that we can all relate to
Pablo

jrcmi said:
So why did you bother to post rather than just “scroll on by”? Instead, you go out of your way to take a swipe at Dan’s co-workers. Were your “condolences” sincere?

I meant every word I said. And that’s the last I’ll say on this thread.
Michael_T

C0nstant said:
C0nstant

I think the jury is in.

Fifteen people have flagged your post with a thumbs down.

When one of your dear friends sadly passes away, I’ll remember to send you a link of people (i.e., commenters) speaking badly of her. Then you will understand how 16 of us (so far) feel about your inappropriate comment.
Michael_T

C0nstant said:
I do no such thing. the liberal pussies trashed her because who she used to work for, and you call me insensitive? wise up jackwagon

I think the jury is in.

Fifteen people have flagged your post with a thumbs down.

When one of your dear friends sadly passes away, I’ll remember to send you a link of people (i.e., commenters) speaking badly of her. Then you will understand how 16 of us (so far) feel about your inappropriate comment.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Ruth-Gretzinger/596613915 Ruth Gretzinger

Dan–a very touching article. reminds us all that every person in the news is someone’s daughter/lover/friend, etc. and maybe we need to remember that.

but for all of you who are ragging on COnstant…why? she/he linked to an article that lists some disgusting things that liberals have said about Fox News employees. his/her point was not to hurt Dan, or say anything bad about Julia, but rather to show how nasty people can be.

imagine if an MSNBC staffer had died in a similar situation. do you really think that Fox watchers would post nasty comments about hoping Olbermann followed? that would not happen.
C0nstant

Michael_T said:
I think the jury is in.

Fifteen people have flagged your post with a thumbs down.

When one of your dear friends sadly passes away, I’ll remember to send you a link of people (i.e., commenters) speaking badly of her. Then you will understand how 16 of us (so far) feel about your inappropriate comment.

yeah mikey im sure the thumbs down isnt because some libpussies slamed dans ex and i brought it to light.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Pamela-McKinney-Patterson/733615427 Pamela McKinney Patterson

How heartbreaking! I’m sorry for the death of your friend. I can’t imagine finding out about something so intensely personal via a sterile news story. You literally fleshed out the bones of the story and gave us a glimpse of a once vibrant, complicated and sensitive woman.

Somehow, I think this premise holds true of many news blurbs or brief news clips. Everyone is more than just a headline.
Anonymous

Hello Dan,

My name is Rich and today, just learned of this horrible news. I too knew Julia. We met in 2006 at the Betty Ford Center. We arrived within one day of each other. Although we were both going through a terrible time with alcoholism, we immediately bonded and spoke often. She left one week before me and on that day, she gave me the biggest hug and asked to keep in contact. This I did and one week later, I stayed in California just for the purpose of seeing her. I didnt leave for 3 weeks and we saw each other everyday. I had the privilege of meeting her parents. She walked me down the cliff behind her home and we walked on the beach for hours. Although living on separate coasts, we continued to see each other for over a year. I flew to California as often as possible and she flew to where ever I was working. San Francisco, Seattle, even Tennessee. Due to job changes and schedules it became harder for us to see each other. But we always kept in touch, during good times and bad.

The woman you speak of I cared for deeply. A heart of gold and completely giving. I am in absolute tears. Today I went to look her up and the search came back with the news stories. I for sometime have wondered why I did not hear back from her, now I know.

The last communication I have from her I found in my email. It reads, “maybe we will talk in 2010″

I am going to plan a trip to California to visit the memorial her father has created. She will be in my heart forever.