David Letterman Blackmail Shocker: Host Confesses To Affairs After Extortion Attempt
“I have a little story that I would like to tell you, and the home viewers as well. Do you feel like a story?” So began David Letterman tonight, after the first commercial break, sitting at his desk before the monologue. It felt like a normal show — there were one-liners and punchlines — but what happened next was anything but a bit.
On national television, before an audience of millions (and no doubt many millions more via YouTube in the days to come), David Letterman admitted that he had had affairs with female staffers on his show — and was being blackmailed by someone about it, to the tune of $2 million.
Letterman said he testified before the Grand Jury this morning, and that the extortionist had been arrested. CBS News confirmed that one of their employees, who worked at 48 Hours had been arrested; TMZ reported shortly before midnight that it was 51-year-old Robert Halderman, and that CBS had suspended him “pending results of the investigation.”
The man, said Letterman, had left a package in his car, a letter about all the “creepy” stuff he had done. The audience laughed gamely as he told the story, explaining how he’d gone to his lawyer and they’d met the extortionist, who threatened to reveal Letterman’s misdeeds in a tell-all movie script based on the host. Letterman explained how he’d contacted the Special Prosecution Bureau of the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office, and had given his extortionist a fake check for the $2 million.
“A little bit after noon today, the guy was arrested,” said Letterman. The crowd applauded wildly — a feel-good ending to a story where the laugh lines had become less and less apparent.
Through the telling, Letterman referred to his “creepy” misdeeds but did not elaborate on them. Of the Grand Jury testimony, he said “I had to tell them all of the creepy things that I have done,” as the audience laughed. “Well, now why is that funny?”
Ouch. It wasn’t.
“I have had sex with women who work for me on this show,” said Letterman.
Silence.
“Now, my response to that is, ‘Yes I have.’” The audience laughed, but it wasn’t a punchline, it was a tension-breaker.
“Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps it would,” said Letterman. “I feel like I need to protect these people. I need to certainly protect my family.”
This is the part where all the news reports mention that Letterman married girlfriend of 23 years, Regina Lasko, earlier this year, and that they have a son, Harry, who is 6.
Said Letterman: “This whole thing has been quite scary.”
CBS spokesman Chris Ender said that “Letterman’s comments on the broadcast tonight speak for themselves.”
This is the second time Letterman has made headlines lately: He recently took over the number-one spot in the late-night time slot following Conan O’Brien’s takeover of Jay Leno’s chair on The Tonight Show.
A full transcript of Letterman’s remarks tonight may be found here.
p.s. Tonight’s guests were Woody Harrelson and Kim Kardashian, promoting her new exercise video. That part felt a little awkward.
(Image via.)
10 comments
This is why you don’t mess with David Letterman. He is one of the best comedians of our time. Lock up Robert Halderman and throw away the key.
m says: I don’t like the audience. They could’ve at least somehow understood that it was serious, instead of laughing about it. Reminds me of when Michael Richards was on with the confession.
ChrisNH says: LOL @ this. Sarah Palin’s book tops the NYT List (OOOOOOOhhh…that’s gotta sting!) on the day that Letterman admits to everyone that he’s a fossilized male version of a slut.
m says: I don’t think calling a person a slut is appropriate. Hopefully there will be some moderation here.
However, I do think that you’re probably jealous of him. He’s a wealthy guy who has his own TV show – and you? Probably working 9-to-5 in a cubicle somewhere.
CaptainAmerica says: ChrisNH says:
October 2, 2009 at 7:07 am
LOL @ this. Sarah Palin’s book tops the NYT List (OOOOOOOhhh…that’s gotta sting!) on the day that Letterman admits to everyone that he’s a fossilized male version of a slut.
———
Banging your employees. No wonder he had no problem with Clintons behavior. Also, its no wonder why he hated such a nice lady like Sarah Palin. Only a sleaze ball like Dave would attack Palins teenage daughter like he did and then take almost a full week before he was finally shamed into giving an actual apology.
What Dave didn’t address is when this was going on. The only way this would have worked (which he didn’t address) if he was doing this while he was with Harry’s baby mama (now recent wife). If so, he may lose half of his precious income while Harry’s mama goes packing!
Puter Boi says: I wonder how many staffers who refused to sleep with Letterman are no longer working on the show….and it would be interesting to know whether he is paying for even more “Little Daves” running around the country.
There was a time I found Letterman funny….but I long ago stopped watching when he seemed to take a turn….became bitter and more than a little whiny..perhaps we now know the reason things changed.
IS DAVID LETTERMAN THE REAL TARGET — OF A POLITICALLY-MOTIVATED CELEBRITY TAKE-DOWN?
Think about it. An award-winning producer for a network investigative journalism program doesn’t know better than to engage in blatant face-to-face blackmail and extortion of a famous celebrity?
Come on, people. There’s got to be more to this story. Here’s an alternative — and arguably, more plausible — theory:
Someone or some entity who’s got it out for Letterman — perhaps, an entity ideologically opposed to his politics and angered by his frequent barbs at the expense of political figures such as Sarah Palin and earlier, Bush and Cheney — receives word that Letterman employees have been pressured into having sex with the boss.
The victims of this alleged sexual harassment let their complaints become known to certain authorities, but don’t go public for fear of losing their jobs. Or perhaps Letterman’s employee sexual partners are themselves blackmailed into betraying their lecherous boss.
The instigating party finds a TV journalist/producer they can compromise. Perhaps the producer was himself the victim of blackmail or other pressure intended to secure his cooperation.
The producer becomes the “patsy” who is tasked with setting up a sting on Letterman.
Letterman naively (and egotistically) considers himself the victim, dutifully reports the “crime” against him to the local authorities, goes down to the grand jury, and confesses to what amounts to employer sexual harassment. (Letterman is a principal in the company that produces his program.)
CBS then has no choice but to fire Letterman and replace him with the wildly popular, up-and-coming Craig Ferguson, Dave’s own anointed successor (and, ironically, also an employee of Letterman’s production company).
Thus David Letterman is taken down for years of scathing comedic attacks on political figures who may or may not have used their personal and official contacts to set into motion the events that will end David Letterman’s long and tumultuous on-air career. Perhaps Dave’s company is permitted by CBS to produce the new Craig Ferguson Late Show, avoiding a legal battle between the network and its deposed star.
Again, all of the above is just a theory…
…a plausible theory, given the odd and incredulous circumstances which have thus far come to light.
http://NowPublic.com/scrivener RE: “GESTAPO USA”
StewartIII says: ChickaBOOMer: Honk If You’ve Slept With David Letterman
http://chickaboomer.blogspot.com/2009/10/honk-if-youve-slept-with-david.html
Rachel Sklar says: To M’s comment (2nd comment), I think the audience was set up to think this was a funny story – remember that they didn’t come into it knowing that a scandalous, serious story was coming. They were following the cues of the host whose job it is to make them laugh. And…they did. You could tell that there were starting to get confused going through. But they were HIS audience and on his side – and taking his cues.
m says: >Banging your employees. No wonder he had no problem with Clintons behavior.
I don’t think you’ve seen Letterman since 1992.
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