Jersey Shore, Finale: Going In With A Bang, Going Out With A Bang

Snooki walks the boardwalk by herself, and just wants to dance and meet guido juiceheads. But they won’t come down, so she dances alone. Please watch the video below. “I was going insane, I didn’t care,” she says. But guess what happened. “That’s totally my freakin ex-boyfriend, who I’m still, like, in love with.” He doesn’t come down to say hi to her. Wah.

The boys are bonding. As Pauly D reflects on his new friendships, his brain drifts off into another world. Coming back, he is a little shaken by the experience. “That was deep,” he says, laughing to himself. “That was fucking deep.”

While the boys have boys night, Ronnie and Sweetheart (can we make a celebrity name for them? RonHeart? Sweetie?) get “away from it all,” and go out to dinner in Belmar. It’s about 30 exits up on the parkway, so that counts. Back home, it’s all about Snooki and The Situation. Snooki is sad. The Situation comforts her. “It’s almost like my sister,” he says. “I don’t want to see that at all. I’m going to try to cheer her up.”

Key word here is “almost,” because what happens next is he makes out in the jacuzzi with his almost-sister. You know, to cheer her up. For what it’s worth, she looks kind of cheered up. Quote of the hot tub: “Oh my god, I’m naked right now.” Later: “We hooked up. I don’t give a fuck. Like whatever.”

The Situation sums up the whole season: “Lots of fights, lots of hook-ups, lots of drama…one minute you got three girls in the jacuzzi, the next minute you’ve got somebody in jail and you have to bail him out.”

Fist pumps. Everyone raise your glasses of Red Bull Vodka in honor of season one, and cross your juiced guido fingers for season two. See you at the shore.

Here’s the sad Snooki dance:

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