Speakerless House Republicans Are CRUSHING IT

Photo by Allison Bailey/NurPhoto via AP

Last week, the House of Representatives removed Kevin McCarthy as speaker, which was an incredible thing to write just now because at this point it feels like that happened in 2007. But no, it was a mere nine days ago. That’s not even one Scaramucci!

This was made possible by a deal McCarthy made in January with Matt Gaetz, who wanted the ability to trigger a vote on whether to remove McCarthy when just a single member moved to do so. All that has now happened.

Not smart!

Since that time, members were sent home, reconvened, and on Wednesday and Thursday went into recess after three and two minutes, respectively. That is not many minutes!

In the defense of the Republicans, who control the House, they were busy choosing the next speaker of the House. And by that, I mean nominating Steve Scalise – a guy who did not have enough votes to become the next speaker of the House.

That’s right. The Republican conference nominated a candidate for speaker who was unable to win over the Republican conference. I can hear you asking, “But how does that even make sense?”

Good question!

Another question you may have at this point is, “Can House Republicans govern?”

No, dummy! The Republican ethos is grounded in the premise that government doesn’t work. By this standard, these Republicans in government are crushing it right now.

With Scalise out (for now?), it appears Jim Jordan is likely the next choice. But wait! He may not have the votes either. As of Thursday night, he was making phone calls to gain support. Meanwhile, other Republicans are urging their colleagues to support Kevin McCarthy as the next speaker.

But that’s the guy they just fired as speaker!

House Republicans, what is you doing?

Fuck it. Just make Trump the speaker. As everyone has pointed out by now, the speaker doesn’t have to be a member of the House. And how stupid is that?! It’s like a band having a frontman who isn’t in the band! Imagine the Rolling Stones being led not by Mick Jagger, but some dude named Herbert. Preposterous!

You know what? Just make some dude named Herbert the speaker. By the way, did you know there was a congressman named Philemon Herbert who shot and killed a waiter who refused to serve him breakfast in 1856?

And he wasn’t even from Florida!

Do you know what the House of Representatives did to Philemon Herbert? Nothing! They didn’t expel or even censure him. They did nothing!

Just like now!

Welcome to the House of Representin’!

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.