Jersey Shore Recap, Ep. 7: The Staten Island Dump Is Lovely This Time Of Year

recap/slideshow

by Steve Krakauer | 1:27 pm, September 10th, 2010

» 3 comments

Episode seven of Jersey Shore was sponsored by Fossil watches, Staten Island and true love.

No but seriously, Snooki smushed, Sammi and Jwoww fought, Vinny smushed, Ronnie and Sammi made up, Angelina smushed Vinny and Pauly D and The Situation were the voices of reason.

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Sammi's Best Accomplishment

We pick up where we left off last week. Ronnie reflects on the fight as it's happening: "It’s like firecrackers in a dumpster. One match and poof." As the ladies get separated, Ronnie goes after Vinny for his involvement. Meanwhile, Sammi is quite proud of herself. It's the "best accomplishment that I’ve had in a long time," she says, as her parents proudly nod their heads in agreement. "Kick the shit out of Jenny."

Sammi v. Jwoww v. Ronnie v. Snooki

After fight #1, there was the after fight party. "Fuck you Nicole," says Sammi. "Fuck you and your sidekick." Then Ronnie yells at Snooki so she pushes him. Next, Jwoww goes after Ronnie with a plate, and Sammi throws something at Jwoww. Fun times by all.

Nothing Like A Nice Herpe To Ruin The Party

In a scene that existed simply to trash a nice young girl Pauly D and Vinny met on the beach, Pauly D says, "Nothing like a nice herpe to ruin the party." The upside of this is we now know the singular form of herpes.

This Awkward Relationship, Sponsored By Fossil

Fossil watches are mentioned throughout this episode, in a variety of ways. Sometimes, it's positive - Angelina's new guy buys her a Fossil watch and she really appreciates this gesture. Says Pauly D: "You gotta let him hit that now." But in other ways, it's used in a negative connotation. More on this awkward relationship, sponsored by Fossil, later.

Ronnie Peeing On Sammi

Surprise: Sammi saying "I'm done" a thousand times meant absolutely nothing. Her and Ronnie go to dinner. “I’m like, in love with you, and like thank you for being there last night," she says. Ronnie admits to the camera that "The letter kind of helped." Ladies, this is the personification of "Sweetheart." The Situation calls Ronnie "MacGyver," but later comes up with the analogy of the year: "The girl was pretty much peed on by Ronnie, peed on many different ways."

Angelina Hates Vinny So Much, She...

Early in the episode Angelina tell's Sitch's sister that Vinny "tried to fuck Snooki." Besides being wrong (he did fuck Snooki), it's a pretty low blow. Then she talks about how ugly he is and how much she hates him. "Wait until I fucking trash your name on Staten Island when I get home," she tells him, as if this will be the demise of his social standing. He fires back about her being an "ugly bitch." This is all important because it is so very unimportant. Just to give you an idea of how delusional Angelina is, she actually says, "I’m a very real person, 100% real," to Sammi, who, equally delusional replies, "So am I."

Guidette Outbreak

This is a great picture. It is Snooki disinfecting the Smush Room so she can reinfect it. But it also provides an opportunity to tell a story about a time she applied for a job at a tanning salon and wrote "tan" as her ethnicity.

About Time For Some Male Objectification

This show objectifies women. It's less offensive because it is so blatant and no one, male or female, comes out looking very good here ever. But this was a chance for some good table-turning male objectification. Snooki is excited for...the guy whose name she can't remember...to come over so she can "get it in." Earlier (ok, it was the night before), she met this guy and proceeded to not smush but make so many noises that Jwoww said "it was the most fucked up night I ever had." Somehow we don't believe that. This time Snooki is ready, so she applies lotion to her butt. But her date's friend is not attractive. According to Snooki, he is a "grenade grundle chode." For many people reading this, grenade may be the reference you get the most. So look up the rest (I'd suggest Urban Dictionary). "It’s like I’m in a fucking horror movie," says Snooki of the ugly date. Then he leaves and she puts it in, of course.

Visiting The Staten Island Dump

Vinny and Angelina hate each other, remember? Now they're making out in the back of the car. "Can we stop so Vinny can buy a Fossil watch?" jokes Pauly D. Earlier in the episode Vinny gives Angelina the nickname "Staten Island Dump." Now he's got her in his bed, grabbing a condom. And now she's saying, "Vinny’s cute. I’m down for it I don't care." Angelina, you're a disaster. Pauly D closes the episode talking to Vinny, but really just the world, "Why don’t you check the Staten Island dump because I hear you like to visit it this time of year!"

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Jersey Shore, Jwoww, MTV's Jersey Shore, recap, Snooki, The Situation

redleaf

Not one lousy comment.
Why do you keep posting this drivel?
Does it really drive page views?
And at the expense of people otherwise taking the site seriously?
sansan-0

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Founders_were_Liberal

Pathetic. What’s more pathetic is these losers get paid big bucks to spread their do-nothing and be obnoxious mantra.,