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This Exists: Birther Porn

This Exists
» 32 comments

The recent emergence of Donald Trump as a possible presidential candidate and ringmaster of the Magical Birth Certificate Mystery Tour® has thrust the Birther movement into the national spotlight once again. Beyond Trump, though, there’s a teeming Birther subculture with its own cast of characters, including Lucas Daniel Smith, whose nude painting of Orly Taitz just sold for $350 on eBay.

Beneath the Birther movement’s surface lurks a dizzying array of shared delusions, competing claims, and intramural debunkage that you could scarcely keep track of with a stack of scorecards. Blogger Patrick McKinnion has been doing a great job of chronicling the drama since the movement’s early days, and he uncovered a gem from minor Birther celebrity Lucas Daniel Smith, in an affidavit on behalf of Congressional disturber of the peace Theresa Cao.

In describing his quest for the Kenyan birth certificate that even World Net Daily dismisses, Smith describes an encounter that, as McKinnion notes, reads like a bad Penthouse Letters submission:

We left the restaurant and walked to her home which was nearby. I was looking forward to hearing all about Barack Hussein Obama‟s birth in Kenya.

As we entered her home she asked me to please take a seat. She walked into the bathroom, left the door open, and to my astonishment she began to disrobe. She then called me into the bathroom. I entered and started telling her that I was a married man and that I was only interested in hearing more about Barack Hussein Obama’s birthplace in Kenya. She then striped herself of her under garments, told me to wait for her, and gracefully stepped into the shower. I then stepped out of the bathroom and took my seat in the other room again. I really didn’t know what to do. I wanted to get her story but I wasn’t prepared to trade my body for her account of Barack Hussein Obama’s nativity story.

You can find out if the story has a happy ending here.

Smith is also the artist behind “Orly Taitz and Her Exhibits,” a tasteful nude that depicts Birther crusader Orly Taitz, topless, holding a pair of Kenyan birth certificates. In a bizarre accompanying document (which also covers the urinating and defecating habits of pigs), Smith admits the painting “may be a little comical,” but insists that “no aspect of this proud painting can be construed as grotesque or defaming, slanderous or libelous.”

It’s truly difficult to tell if Smith is trying to satirize Taitz, whom he accused of suborning perjury a few years back, because the rest of his writing is so earnestly loopy.

The painting sold Tuesday for $350, to an eBay user who really ought to consider a quick turnaround to Donald Trump. “Orly Taitz and Her Exhibits” would make a great backdrop for his Celebrity Apprentice boardroom.

With Trump’s Birther assault showing no sign of a letup, despite his self-professed reluctance to discuss the subject, expect the media, and the public, to become better acquainted with this subculture, and its colorful characters.

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  • Colorado_Conservative

    I think Tommy is the one with a birther fetish!!

  • The Lantern of Truth

    Tommy , you are one weird unit .

  • Liberal Tormentor

    Wow Dan, aren’t you embarrassed that this is your above the fold story? This is the best media story you can find?

  • catfishjuggling

    Let me be the first to call Orly a BINO.

  • catfishjuggling

    Or in Spanish Al BINO.

  • The Tea Weasel®

    LOL. Just LOL. The Queen of the Birther movement exposed. As you can see from a couple of the above posts (and probably below) humor is totally wasted on conservatives.

    I wonder if the artist got an invite to the Orly Taitz “It’s All Downhill From Here” Invitational inaugural “Running of the Loons”?

  • More Liberty5

    Liberal Tormentor said:
    Wow Dan, aren’t you embarrassed that this is your above the fold story? This is the best media story you can find?

    That’s a good point. This is your top story Mediaite? LOL……..hahahahahaha///are you serious Tommy?

  • ndanielson

    So, Tommy, are you hanging the picture in your office or above the mantle at home?

  • RowdyHoward

    Wouldn’t birther porn be more like Ann Coulter in a cammo thong holding a birth certificate from Kenya? This looks more like a sad attempt a non-news story

  • More Liberty5

    Is it me, or when you try to go to the Kobe/ homophobe story you get redirect to the Sports Grid site. If you are not signed in, you can read the two sentences written by Colby Hall where he of course doesn’t mention the homophobe comments. White Guilt anyone?

  • More Liberty5

    LOL…yeah it’s amazing that as of this time stamp. People can’t comment on the article linked by Colby Hall. Nice.

    But here is the last paragraph written by Glenn Davis (a Mediaite writer as well).

    “So while we shouldn’t just completely brush it off when someone says something like what Kobe appeared to say last night, and we shouldn’t act like it’s a good thing to say things like that, we also can’t be surprised when it happens (and we shouldn’t be surprised we’re exposed to it when we, say, focus the camera on Kobe right after something bad happens). No one reaches Kobe’s level of competitive excellence by being nice – especially not when they feel like they’ve been slighted – and it’s unrealistic to expect that anyone would.”

    LOL….OMG Glenn. So if you are black, an excellent athlete you can be a bigot? LOL……the hypocrisy of these writers is amazing.

  • Liberal Tormentor

    Yeah Liberty, remember a little rant by Mel Gibson (as the poster over at the Sports Grid wrote)? How the liberal media can claim with a straight face that there is no liberal media bias is beyond me. I always imagine them in a room talking about how to spin certain stories, like the Kobe one. Or how they justify to each other why they won’t post stories exposing their bias, on a media site. It’s very entertaining to watch them twist themselves into a pretzel.

  • felixw

    Mediaite is truly scraping the bottom of the barrel of the birther mania. If this isn’t the “jump the shark” moment for this tired story, I don’t know what is.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Stephen-Hogan/179500970 Stephen Hogan

    More Liberty5 said:
    Is it me, or when you try to go to the Kobe/ homophobe story you get redirect to the Sports Grid site. If you are not signed in, you can read the two sentences written by Colby Hall where he of course doesn’t mention the homophobe comments. White Guilt anyone?

    1. Sports Grid is a sister site to Mediaite, just like Stylite. As this website focuses on the media, Sports Grid focuses on matters related to the sport world. I don’t understand the umbrage you’ve taken.

    2. So, you’re calling ‘white guilt’ just because he didn’t mention Kobe’s comments in the first two sentences?

  • http://www.perceptionasreality.blogspot.com/ skoorbekim

    TC,
    From Olbermann yesterday to porn paintings today…

    Meanwhile American-born Obama is about contort himself into a pretzel 45 minutes from now in a speech that will dominate the media for the next 36 hours…

    Get back to work on your upcoming expose on the 2012 GOP Southern Strategy…

  • More Liberty5

    http://www.mediaite.com/online/worse-than-originally-thought-audio-of-mel-gibsons-racist-rant-released/

    Here is the link about the anti-semite Gibson via Colby Hall.

    Stephen Hogan said:
    Sports Grid is a sister site to Mediaite, just like Stylite. As this website focuses on the media, Sports Grid focuses on matters related to the sport world. I don’t understand the umbrage you’ve taken.

    They always say that but they have plenty of articles that don’t even deal with the media.

  • More Liberty5
  • omgbradley

    How very weird that a serious journalist like Tommy would report on this “story.” Even weirder that it would be the top story on this site. To be honest, I’m slightly creeped out by the whole thing. In addition to the overt sexual overtones, there’s an obvious attempt to lump all conservatives and republicans in with this strange minority while discrediting them at the same time. Needless to say, I’m rather disappointed in Mediaite for running this “story.”

  • http://www.treadingground.com AbsurdHero

    It’s like a Mad Lib!

    “I slid my fingers into her dripping Obama’s Birthplace In Kenya. She stroked my long-form birth certificate until we simultaneously socialisted.”

  • More Liberty5

    http://www.mediaite.com/online/worse-than-originally-thought-audio-of-mel-gibsons-racist-rant-released/

    In the above article, Mediaite does a very detailed job of describing the rant. Colby Hall even says the following:
    “Last week, RadarOnline reported the existence of audiotapes that feature Mel Gibson making offensive and racist rants towards his ex-girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva.”

    Now….didn’t Kobe make an offensive and homophobic rant against some referee?

  • http://www.perceptionasreality.blogspot.com/ skoorbekim

    More Liberty5 said:
    In the above article

    Mr. Ombudsman,
    Did Mediaite highlight the anti-semitic aspects of C Sheen’s rants?

  • Puter Boi

    The Lantern of Truth said:
    Tommy , you are one weird unit .

    Can we please not discuss T.C.’s unit here?
    Thanks!

  • More Liberty5

    skoorbekim said:
    Did Mediaite highlight the anti-semitic aspects of C Sheen’s rants?

    I don’t know. I’m simply pointing out the craziness. It appears that Mediaite can’t even bring itself to comment on the obviously homophobic remarks of an African-American. A mediate writer, Glenn Davis, even plays cover for the bigot.

    Amazing.

  • http://www.perceptionasreality.blogspot.com/ skoorbekim

    More Liberty5 said:
    I don’t know. I’m simply pointing out the craziness

    You provide a valuable service for this site…
    I greatly appreciate it…

  • Tommy Christopher

    More Liberty5 said:
    Is it me, or when you try to go to the Kobe/ homophobe story you get redirect to the Sports Grid site. If you are not signed in, you can read the two sentences written by Colby Hall where he of course doesn’t mention the homophobe comments. White Guilt anyone?

    1. I disagree with Glenn, but your comment doesn’t make much sense. The first two sentences? It’s IN THE HEADLINE.

    2. As far as I can tell, none of that article was written by Colby.

    3. We often run Sportsgrid headlines in our “Top Shelf” area. Nothing unusual about that.

  • More Liberty5

    Tommy Christopher said:
    1. I disagree with Glenn, but your comment doesn’t make much sense. The first two sentences? It’s IN THE HEADLINE.

    2. As far as I can tell, none of that article was written by Colby.

    3. We often run Sportsgrid headlines in our “Top Shelf” area. Nothing unusual about that.

    Colby Hall write a brief two sentence comment linking the article.
    http://www.mediaite.com/author/colby-hall/

    If you are logged out you can read this:
    “Last night, Kobe Bryant picked up a technical foul during his Lakers’ 102-93 win over the starter-resting Spurs. He wasn’t happy about it, as TV cameras caught (specifically, at the 36-second mark below)”

    If you are logged in you get instantly directed to Sports Grid. That is why there are no comments on Colby’s page.

    Yes Glenn Wrote the article, and Colby made the quick statement. But like most articles here, the main-story comes from somewhere else and the writer links it, and write commentary.

  • More Liberty5

    Tommy Christopher said:
    3. We often run Sportsgrid headlines in our “Top Shelf” area. Nothing unusual about that.

    True, but it’s also located on the bottom right. Go to Colby Hall’s column list and it is there as well. Notice that there are no comments.

  • Tommy Christopher

    More Liberty5 said:
    Yes Glenn Wrote the article, and Colby made the quick statement. But like most articles here, the main-story comes from somewhere else and the writer links it, and write commentary.

    I see where the confusion is. I’m pretty sure Colby didn’t write those two sentences, as they’re identical to the lede under Glenn’s byline. My guess is it was a workaround to allow Mediaite to cross-promote Glenn’s post.

    In any case, I couldn’t disagree with Glenn’s assessment more strongly.

  • david r

    Puerile.

  • TfT

    Why did I laugh out loud when I read this sentence from Tommy’s article:

    “It’s truly difficult to tell if Smith is trying to satirize Taitz, whom he accused of suborning perjury a few years back, because the rest of his writing is so earnestly loopy.”

    Tommy calling someone elses writing “earnestly loopy” kind of made me snicker out loud, no actually, laugh out loud.

    All these lefties trying to keep the birther story alive also makes me laugh out loud.

    Is Tommy joining Matthews and David Gregory on being among the group that is really realy really pushing the birther story?

    bwahahahaha

  • lonestar77

    Who? I’ve never heard of any of those people except for Trump. Big newsmakers, I’m sure.

  • More Liberty5

    Tommy Christopher said:
    I see where the confusion is. I’m pretty sure Colby didn’t write those two sentences, as they’re identical to the lede under Glenn’s byline. My guess is it was a workaround to allow Mediaite to cross-promote Glenn’s post.

    In any case, I couldn’t disagree with Glenn’s assessment more strongly.

    Let me get this straight, as your hypocrisy is so obvious. You have issue with Glenn Davis’s column becuase he’s not concerned enough about Kobe’s bigotry. But you make the following joke:

    http://www.mediaite.com/tv/msnbcs-tamron-hall-scolds-tea-party-guest-for-slamming-new-jersey/

    “No, really, that’s not nice. Texas is a great state. Last time I visited, I met this farmer whose cow had a really strange “moo.” I said, “Does your cow have some Texan in her?”

    “Not now, no,” he replied, “but as soon as you leave…”

    “I’m just kidding, he was actually already banging the cow when I met him. It was awkward.”

    You are a hypocrite dude. You make bigoted comments about one group, but are concerned when other groups are attacked.

    Colby Hall is right, you are an “unabashed liberal.”

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