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Maryland News Anchor Marty Bass Goes Off In An Epic Speech About The Baltimore Ravens

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» 14 comments

This Maryland TV reporter has something to say about the Ravens (That’s a football team, by the way. I add this for those of you who, like me, only watch large, costumed men playing with balls when it’s called RuPaul’s Drag Race). So listen the [redacted] up!

“As fans,” said WJZ-13′s Marty Mass, quite matter-of-factly, “we so totally rock. We are elite.” He added that, “it absolutely sucks,” and revealed that he bit through a mouth guard Sunday night, so tense was he about his beloved Ravens. Also, he’s having an issue with reflux. “I’m going to have to take a Prilosec,” he admitted.

“Disappointed, but not disenfranchised,” agreed anchor Don Scott, whose voice is like sweet (elite) molasses being poured onto a football.

RELATED: Stupid Bowl: 49ers Fans Boo Giants Players During National Anthem

Bass also gave a heartfelt shout-out to Patriots owner Bob Kraft, who lost his wife Myra to cancer last summer. Bad things happen, Bass said, but sport victories can totally balance those out. Tsunamis? Devastating tornadoes? Disease? Sports are here to make those better.

“Bob Kraft lost his wife,” he told viewers. “He had a pretty good day yesterday. You know. All things considered.”

Wise words, man. Wise words.

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  • Anonymous

    This is what you get when you have fans in positions like this. 

  • Anonymous

    “The reason we had a season was Bob Kraft”. Bullshit. The reason you had a season was the owners aren’t stupid enough to let a billion dollars in revenue walk away. Ravens fans aren’t the worst, but if they’re elite, why are there so many Terrible Towels in their stadium when they play Pittsburgh? WHy are so many seats available to Steeler fans willing to travel? They’re not in the same class with Steeler fans, Packers fans, the’re not even second teir, like Cowboys, Chiefs and Broncos fans. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jj-Wisniewski/100002654075475 Jj Wisniewski

    This guy has been a loose canon in Maryland since the late 70s. He’s a nobody. Harbaugh is dellusional if he thinks he can win a Super Bowl with Cameron as the offensive coordinator. Instead of calling a time out before sending Condiff in for the field goal, they rushed it and Condiff missed it. I blame Harbaugh and the play calling for losing this game. The All of the Patriots must have been Tebowing before the game, because the almighty answered. They were lucky to escape with a win. It won’t be that easy, as Chris Christie put it, with the New Jersey Giants.

  • Anonymous

    Ah i love it win Tebow haters lose.

    Terrell Suggs is such a hypocrite, Ray Lewis talks about God all the time. But he only has a problem when Tim Tebow does it.

    Whatever this Dipstick is the perfect representative of Baltimore fans and the team.

  • Pablo

    Maybe if Tebow went up on murder charges, Suggs would think better of him.

  • Anonymous

    I suppose the fact that he (Ray Lewis) was innocent doesn’t mean anything to you. That was the classic case of an over ambitious prosecutor run amuck.

  • Michael T.

    The Koreans had an earthquake and beat us in soccer?

    C’mon … everyone knows in was Japan. Geez.

    This was an embarrassing clip of a rambling lightweight on a number of levels.  I’m a little surprised Alex Alvarez found it worthy of compliments.

  • Anonymous

    That was NOT epic, and clearly this guy WASN’T going off. Clowns Mediate.

  • Anonymous

    Marty Bass achieved lasting fame for many viewers when he was arrested for soliciting an undercover police officer and used his influence to get off. We came to know him as that weatherman and part-time investigative reporter.

  • http://www.facebook.com/codemon Cody Hill

    Someone loves it “win” Tebow haters lose? If Tebow ever wins anything close to a conference championship, then maybe we can call him something other than a flash-in-the-pan also ran.

  • Anonymous

    You are so ignorant.

  • Anonymous

    They pay this guy for that claptrap? 

  • Anonymous

    I was waiting for him to start talking about how he walked shoeless to school in the deep snow going uphill both ways. Did the video segment get cut off too early?

  • Anonymous

    What we need is Someone to file a class action law suit on behalf of all Marylanders who sign it, for “pain and suffering due to neglect of duties and abuse of power” against the NFL … (Come on Baltimore law firms–here’s a challenge!!! I dare you come on!!!)
     
    The Refs made bad calls, the Booth didn’t review that last Evans catch, lke they should have since it was inside 2 minutes, which MIGHt have been reversed or at least stop the clock, and now today’s revelation—the Scoreboard read 3rd down for the 3 last plays … (This wasn’t JUST the last play…they were neglecting the scoreboard for 3 plays …so understandably Billy had no idea he needed to get to the field!!!)  

    Marty I heard you Monday a.m. and you helped me heel for a few days with this speech …But I got to say, it’s one thing to say Karma let the owner of NE get into the Super Bowl game, since he saved the NFL season, but it’s quite another when we see the NFL (or NE) fraudulently GAVE NE entry to the Super Bowl Game…..

    Hell We had THE Player who was largely responsible for ending the strike on our Team (Ladarious Webb) … Karma should have worked our way too.

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