Winners Of The Week: Obama Unfiltered, A CNN Dreamer, Tantaros, Milli Vanilli, And Rebirth Of ‘Pissant’
A week that was started with the inauguration of our third-straight two-term President and ended with good ‘ol fashioned political showmanship (some call them “hearings”) had plenty of candidates who earn our imaginary hardware.
And the winners are…
President Obama:
With the election over, he finally gets to be himself. Unabashedly liberal, Mr. Obama used his inauguration speech to not talk about the economy, deficits, debt or the entitlement crisis, but cultural themes that included gay rights, climate change and makers and takers (Paul Ryan, you have a call on line 1)…
Ultimately, the President wants his legacy to be a social one:
• Champion of gay marriage (after being against it up until months before the 2012 election),
• Ending war in Afghanistan (while increasing drone assassinations)
• Health care for all (Affordable Care Act)
• More tax revenue from the rich to support new entitlements and struggling ones…and allocating whatever is left over to help pay down the debt
• Stricter gun control
Lest anyone read this as criticism, as these issues, and this strategy, helped Mr. Obama become the first Democratic President to win re-election with the majority of the vote since FDR.
So get ready for Obama Unfiltered for the next four years…
That may be a good or bad thing…depending on the cable network you prefer.
Winner – Jim Acosta:
Speaking of the inauguration, someone got a case of the tingles, and it wasn’t the usual suspect.
Instead, this phantasmagoric feeling occurred over at CNN in the form of Mr. Acosta, who seemed to be genuinely shocked that one the world’s largest news organization actually had prime seats for the inauguration parade:
“You know, I feel like I should pinch myself right now,” Acosta oozed. “I can’t believe I have this vantage point of history in the making.”
I felt that way about another man once. Remember it like it was yesterday: Then-Jersey Generals’ quarterback Doug Flutie exiting Giants Stadium after a game. I walked up to him and asked him for an autograph. He smiled and signed a program I gave him. I felt like I was dreaming.
I was in 8th grade.
So cheers to Jim Acosta…
Very rarely do millions get to experience the apex of one’s existence on live television.
Winner – Milli Vanilli:
Speaking of my teens, how good are fans of Milli Vanilli feeling right now? In an effort to educate all the young folks out there, Milli Vanilli was the hottest thing in ’89 outside of Sigourney Weaver. The two-man band (Robert Pilatus and Fabrice Morvan) owned #1 hits like “Don’t Forget My Number,” “Girl I’m Gonna Miss You” and the venerable “Blame It On the Rain.”
But when the duo was caught lip-synching during an MTV concert, it all went downhill. Eventually it was revealed that the voices on even the recorded songs weren’t those of Pilatus and Morvan. Sadly, Pilatus would go on to overdose in an apparent suicide a few years later.
Fast forward to 2013, when Beyoncé (who could do no wrong in my eyes just last week) allegedly lip-synched the national anthem at the inauguration. The controversy was bigger than Michelle’s bangs and her Boehner blow-off…two other huge events that occurred on an important day in our nation’s history.
But given lip-synching is as common as Catfishing these days, is Mrs. Z’s crime really a big deal?
Remember the late Whitney Houston’s epic performance at the Giants-Bills Super Bowl 100 years ago?
Lip-synched.
Jennifer Hudson at the Cardinals-Steelers Super Bowl in 2009?
Lip-synched.
Madonna at the Super Bowl last year?
Rhetorical question.
So when looking back on the legacy of Milli Vanilli, let’s not call them fakers.
“Trailblazers” is a better description…
Winner – Andrea Tantaros (The Five):
Some advocates of Roe v Wade “celebrated” its 40th anniversary this week by running a vomitus ad glorifying the 55 million abortions performed over the past four decades (courtesy of a group called the Center of Reproductive Rights). Regardless of your stance on abortion (I’m opposed to overturning Roe v Wade, only because putting the toothpaste back in the tube would be impossible at this point), there was absolutely no need to portray the pro-choice movement in this fashion.
Tantaros agrees:
“If you are pro-life, or if you’re pro-choice, I think everybody can agree there is something tasteless about this ad. It seems to glorify and sexualize abortion. I don’t think one woman out there celebrates the anniversary of her abortion. So we as women, whether you’re pro-life or not, do we want to hear a man who has no idea what it’s like to be pregnant or have an unexpected pregnancy lecturing us or trivializing it?”
Her Five co-hosts, including Bob Beckel (“It was an embarrassment,”) all concurred.
Amazingly, the ad was barely broached on the other cable networks.
For context, could you imagine if the NRA released an ad glorifying the anniversary of the Second Amendment?
Wall-to-wall outrage…
Winner – CNN:
Jeff Zucker’s network won the ratings war during the inauguration. Utterly shocking, considering this should have been MSNBC’s victory lap, just as coverage of the Democratic National Convention was back in September.
Almost more incredible was CNN’s margin of victory: 3.59M total viewers (1.27M demo), easily defeating FNC’s 1.67M total (254k demo), and MSNBC’s 1.37M total (457k demo).
Winner – Chris Matthews:
The Super Bowl isn’t until February 3 (49ers 30, Ravens 27, by the way…), but for the 67-year-old host of Hardball, the big event was Monday in DC.
And while a Romney inauguration/Matthews reaction would have been a 47 on the unintended comedy scale (on a scale of 1-10), there was still enough in the tank after the President’s big day for the former Carter speechwriter to employ a 70s word that few use today:
“Pissant.”
Matthews (on Hillary unfairly being picked on by GOP senator Ron Johnson during the Benghazi hearings): “That was kind of a pissant performance by this guy from Wisconsin. I don’t know how these guys get over the wall into American politics.”
Pissant: 1. Slang: Vulgar. A person or thing of no value or consequence; a despicable person or thing. 2. Obsolete. an ant. adjective 3. Slang: Vulgar. Insignificant
Don’t know about you, but isn’t this such an odd word to deploy here? And could you picture anyone else in cable news using it in a sentence?
It’s like trying to imagine anyone else playing Tony Soprano but James Galdolfini (originally offered to Ray Liotta), Julia Roberts as Vivian in Pretty Woman (originally offered to Molly Ringwald) or Harrison Ford as Dr. Richard Kimble in The Fugitive (originally offered to Alec Baldwin).
Pissant.
It’s almost as outdated as the word “tingle”.
Regardless, I’m going to take it for a spin in Hoboken this weekend.
And with that, go enjoy yours.
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This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.
