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SNL Returns With Christine O’Donnell Masturbation Parody (VIDEO)

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» 79 comments

Saturday Night Live returned tonight and from the multitude of topics they had to choose from (and really, the news cycle is an embarrassment of riches where SNL is concerned) they opted for Christine O’Donnell.

In the open O’Donnell, played by Kristen Wiig, is asked about her past transgressions by members of the RNC (Jason Sudeikis and Bill Hader) who want to make sure there will be no more media surprises before they agree to fund her (it is perhaps a measure of the nation’s political savvy that SNL assumed viewers would know about her troubles with the RNC). Suffice to say SNL is not afraid to play dirty. After discussing the “media’s fixation” with silly things like “dabbling in witchcraft” O’Donnell reveals to the pair that back when she started her anti-masturbation campaign back in the day she didn’t even know what masturbation was…now that she does she masturbates multiple times a day!

Later she assures them that there are no other skeletons in her closet…unless you count the dogs. Turns out O’Donnell used to run dog fights and they were “much better than Michael Vick’s.” And come to think of it there was also this time in college…But never fear! The people of Delaware only want to hear about restoring the Constitution and “things like that.” Indeed. You can watch the full cold open below.

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  • Big Eddie

    They just made her a star . Senator O’ Donnell .

  • the real john t

    Big Eddie said:
    They just made her a star . Senator O’ Donnell .

    Yeah, just like Palin. OH! Wait a minute, Palin and McCain weren’t elected. Never mind.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Herrick/100000969560328 Matt Herrick

    “Cold open” was a great description. Not only was the skit unfunny, but everything that followed was pretty lame too. I hope they pick up the pace next week.

  • Big_F-ing_Deal

    If you can’t make fun of an anti-masturbation, evolution denying, devil worshipping, human/mouse-brain conspiracy theorist teabagger who can you make fun of?

  • Fox News: We proudly pander to Teabaggers

    Big_F-ing_Deal said:
    If you can’t make fun of an anti-masturbation, evolution denying, devil worshipping, human/mouse-brain conspiracy theorist teabagger who can you make fun of?

    Someone who is anti-condom.

  • murf

    Ehh…oh well .. Good times..I’ve always been an SNL fan..

    However if you EVER and I mean EVER have any doubt about how out of touch and in bed , the democrats are with the MSM , look no further than the dunces at SNL.

    LOL you libs are as smart as you look .

  • Big_F-ing_Deal

    murf said:
    Ehh…oh well .. Good times..I’ve always been an SNL fan..

    However if you EVER and I mean EVER have any doubt about how out of touch and in bed , the democrats are with the MSM , look no further than the dunces at SNL.

    LOL you libs are as smart as you look .

    Comedians have been liberal since Lenny Bruce, George Carlin and the Smothers Brothers.
    Just as bankers and brokers are mostly conservative.
    Your side gets the money and we get the laughs.
    It is as it always was and will be.
    Put away your tired and crazy conspiracy theories that this is something new we should all take notice of.

  • the real john t

    murf said:
    However if you EVER and I mean EVER have any doubt about how out of touch and in bed , the democrats are with the MSM , look no further than the dunces at SNL.

    SNL is a comedy show. They’re writers have the easiest jobs there is. The people the Repubs keep voting for write their on scripts with the stupid shit they come up with.

  • murf

    Big_F-ing_Deal said:
    Comedians have been liberal since Lenny Bruce, George Carlin and the Smothers Brothers.
    Just as bankers and brokers are mostly conservative.
    Your side gets the money and we get the laughs.
    It is as it always was and will be.
    Put away your tired and crazy conspiracy theories that this is something new we should all take notice of.

    Conspiracy theory ?? Dude , usually I wouldn’t find it necessary to point out the obvious but after today, you’re liberal friends couldn’t tell the difference between friend and foe ., Lol

  • murf

    Correction : You’re = Your

  • murf

    the real john t said:
    SNL is a comedy show. They’re writers have the easiest jobs there is. The people the Repubs keep voting for write their on scripts with the stupid shit they come up with.

    I hope Pyror breaks an ankle. LOL

  • the real john t

    the real john t said:
    their on scripts

    Their own scripts

  • the real john t

    murf said:
    I hope Pyror breaks an ankle.

    And your probabaly a big Clevland Browns fan.

  • murf

    the real john t said:
    And your probabaly a big Clevland Browns fan.

    COWBOYS, son . Lol

  • murf

    Yes , I know I live in San Diego , and I’m a Cowboys fan .

  • the real john t

    murf said:
    COWBOYS

    Good luck with that.

  • murf

    the real john t said:
    Good luck with that.

    Yeah , yeah, yeah.

  • the real john t

    murf said:
    Yeah , yeah, yeah.

    I’m an Oakland fan. At least they’re 1 and 1, while the Cowboys are 0 and 2.

  • the real john t

    murf said:
    COWBOYS, son

    OH! Who are you trying to be now, notsosmart?

  • murf

    the real john t said:
    OH! Who are you trying to be now, notsosmart?

    Whatever that means, just face it , your teams sucks . As long as Evil Knevil is your owner . Lol

  • http://www.mediaite.com MediaiteTV

    Matt Herrick said:
    “Cold open” was a great description. Not only was the skit unfunny, but everything that followed was pretty lame too. I hope they pick up the pace next week.

    ‘A cold open (also called a teaser) in a television program or movie is the technique of jumping directly into a story at the beginning or opening of the show, before the title sequence or opening credits are shown’

  • the real john t

    murf said:
    your teams sucks

    Ohio State won today 73 to 20. Go suck on that.

  • the real john t

    Plus Ohio State is undefeated so far.

  • murf

    the real john t said:
    Ohio State won today 73 to 20. Go suck on that.

    Lol.. This is true

  • Rogue-Comic

    the real john t said:
    I’m an Oakland fan. At least they’re 1 and 1, while the Cowboys are 0 and 2.

    I invite you both to kiss the ring of the reigning Super Bowl Champs.

  • the real john t

    Rogue-Comic said:
    I invite you both to kiss the ring of the reigning Super Bowl Champs.

    I do like NO Saints too. But I’ve been a Raiders fan for 40yrs.

  • Rogue-Comic

    the real john t said:
    I do like NO Saints too. But I’ve been a Raiders fan for 40yrs.

    Well, at least you can actually remember when they won Super Bowls, unlike the pimpled faced Cowboy fans I encounter who were obviously in diapers in ’96.

  • Yoda002

    I think SNL should have a skit with all the right-wing teabaggers; it would get high ratings. The country would be able to get to know who these teabaggers are and what they stand for and where they want take this country.

  • the real john t

    Rogue-Comic said:
    Well, at least you can actually remember when they won Super Bowls, unlike the pimpled faced Cowboy fans I encounter who were obviously in diapers in ‘96.

    That’s true.

  • Rogue-Comic

    Yoda002 said:
    I think SNL should have a skit with all the right-wing teabaggers; it would get high ratings. The country would be able to get to know who these teabaggers are and what they stand for and where they want take this country.

    Since SNL debuted and became popular in the 70s, most of their most loyal viewers probably are the negative gay stereotype you use to define and deride many people’s grandparents.

    In my opinion, if Obama would engage the Tea Party in Town Hall Meetings, he might find unlikely allies once a dialogue is established.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lars-Svensen/100001028197161 Lars Svensen

    Saturday Night Live? Does anyone watch that junk since analog TV disappeared? SNL conjures images of dunces sitting in front of 13-inch black & white TV’s with coat hanger antennas, chuckeling vaguely at people dimmer than themselves.

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  • TfT

    Actually, I thought it was pretty lame. But let’s watch CNN and MSNBC claim truth about the rest of the stories SNL made up. It is just what they do these days.

    Coates testimony still missing from the board. I guess real news doesn’t count for much around these parts anymore.

  • Big Eddie

    liuliu8 said:
    our website: http://www.fashionshoppong.us BEST QUALITY GUARANTEE!!SAFTY & HONESTY GUARANTEE!!FAST & PROMPT DELIVERY GUARANTEE!!

    Lou also guarantees you : Ain’t gonna like what you get .
    Ain’t gonna find him .
    Ain’t gettin’ no refund .

  • Azarkhan

    Republicans take the high road:

    A review of television advertisements presented since Labor Day showed that the Republicans were basing theirs almost entirely on the records of Democrats on health care, the economic stimulus package and the first vote the Democrats cast when Congress convened in 2009: for making Nancy Pelosi speaker of the House.

    While Democrats live in the gutter:

    Democratic candidates across the country are opening a fierce offensive of negative advertisements against Republicans, using lawsuits, tax filings, reports from the Better Business Bureau and even divorce proceedings to try to discredit their opponents and save their Congressional majority.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/26/us/politics/26dems.html?_r=1

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Herrick/100000969560328 Matt Herrick

    Thanks mediate staff, I was familiar with the term. I thought it was particularly apt as it applied to the skit being described. A double entendre perhaps.

  • http://sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/ GlennBeckReview

    MediaiteTV says: “‘A cold open (also called a teaser) in a television program or movie is the technique of jumping directly into a story at the beginning or opening of the show, before the title sequence or opening credits are shown’”

    There you go again, proving how facts have such a terrible, liberal bias.

    http://www.sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/2010/09/bias-vs-truthiness-analyzing-media.html

  • Azarkhan

    TfT said:
    Coates testimony still missing from the board.

    It’s not intentional TfT. Mediaite is woefully understaffed and can’t get to every story. They can only run the really important ones…like SNL comedy skits. Anyway, I’ve decided to sacrifice some of my free time to help out:

    A Justice Department prosecutor defied his superiors by testifying at a U.S. Civil Rights Commission hearing Friday, where he leveled an explosive allegation: top officials in the department gutted a voter intimidation case against a fringe African American militant group because the suspects were black and their alleged victims were white.

    The prosecutor, Christopher Coates, also said the downgrading of the case against the New Black Panther Party was evidence of a Justice Department culture which discouraged “race neutral” enforcement of civil rights laws, frowned on prosecuting minority perpetrators and folded under pressure from black and Latino rights groups. After President Barack Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder took office, the culture intensified, Coates told the panel, ultimately leading to his departure as chief of the voting rights section early this year….

    Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0910/42676.html#ixzz10UvSL5GP

    Hmm, hmm, hmm
    Barack Hussein Obama
    Another black racist
    Hmm, hmm, hmm.

  • ordinary

    Bin Laden is right about one thing. The western culture is in moral decline. Shades of the late Roman empire. Morally bankrupt. Sick. Its still better than the hateful, intolerant, hypocritical religion of Islam though.

  • ordinary

    Azarkhan,

    I saw the cspan coverage of his testimony before the civil rights commission. Everything you say is correct, but in the defense of mediaite, they cover the news media coverage. In other words, they don’t actually give news, but cover how the media does. Also, they tend to focus on political candidates and pundits. Once the politicians and pundits start talking about it maybe they will have an article on it.

  • ordinary

    Plus they do some yellow journalism covering entertainers.

  • Azarkhan

    ordinary said:
    Everything you say is correct, but in the defense of mediaite, they cover the news media coverage

    Thanks Ordinary, but I think Mediaite serves as an adjunct to the Democratic Party, not an objective reviewer of media.

  • right-is-wrong

    Azarkhan said:
    After President Barack Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder took office, the culture intensified,

    From your own cut and paste.
    He had a problem BEFORE Obama took office. This time it an allegation, i n fact if you read the stories fully, you will see that the earlier case he brought was ruled upon in 2007 (before OBAMA)

    Hmm, hmm, hmm
    Az-ark-han
    Another idiot reactionary
    Hmm, hmm, hmm
    Az-ark-han
    Another idiot reactionary
    Hmm, hmm, hmm.

  • soccermom

    ordinary said:
    Everything you say is correct, but in the defense of mediaite, they cover the news media coverage

    So how about a story on how the media is completely ignoring the story? Don’t hold your breath!

  • Azarkhan

    Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0910/42676.html#ixzz10eTWtxpA

    right-is-wrong said:
    He had a problem BEFORE Obama took office

    Hey dumbass, try reading the article:

    After President Barack Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder took office, the culture intensified, Coates told the panel, ultimately leading to his departure as chief of the voting rights section early this year.

  • Azarkhan

    right-is-wrong said:
    He had a problem BEFORE Obama took office.

    So why didn’t Hope and Change stop the discrimination?

  • Republitarian

    This is probably the 30th or so SNL episode since Barack Obama took the oath of office. And, in those 30 or so shows, can anyone remember a single joke SNL has done at Barack Obama’s expense – just one?

    When SNL became a propaganda arm of the DNC, it stopped being relevant – and that was about 25 years ago.

  • writer

    Trouble is, the left gets many of its ‘facts’ from SNL. Like when Tina Fey, doing Palin, said “I can see Russia from my house.” Many on the left then claimed Palin said it.

  • http://twitter.com/pewestlake Paul Westlake

    Rogue-Comic said:
    In my opinion, if Obama would engage the Tea Party in Town Hall Meetings, he might find unlikely allies once a dialogue is established.

    If the people who morphed into the Tea Party wanted to engage with Democrats, they wouldn’t have spent the entire summer of ’09 shouting them down in town halls over health care… you know, when the details were really kinda important. They have shown no propensity for compromise or dialogue on any issue. They want their country back, didn’t you hear? No, it’s not on Obama or the Democrats to come to them. They tried that in ’09 and it all it got them was Chuck Grassley making speeches across town about Democratic plans to euthanize grandma. Not only do conservatives have no desire to compromise, they have been distilled down to their least compromising wing in the Tea Party. All the most recent polls have shown that conservatives want to fight a winner-take-all contest over compromise by a 2-1 margin. Liberals and Democrats aren’t the ones that need convincing about common ground – look to your own.

  • http://twitter.com/pewestlake Paul Westlake

    writer said:
    “I can see Russia from my house.” Many on the left then claimed Palin said it.

    Well, maybe some of them did, but most of us knew it was Tina’s line, and just used it to distill all of Sarah’s ignorance into one slogan that captured Sarah better than anything Sarah herself ever said, except for “you betcha.” You betcha! ;-)

  • right-is-wrong

    writer said:
    Trouble is, the left gets many of its ‘facts’ from SNL. Like when Tina Fey, doing Palin, said “I can see Russia from my house.” Many on the left then claimed Palin said it.

    “Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia,
    and on our other side the land boundary that we have with Canada….
    It certainly enhances my foreign policy credentials.
    It is very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia.
    As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go?
    It’s Alaska. It is just right over the border.
    It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure
    that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia,
    because they are right there, next to our state.”

  • writer

    One difference is, I don’t pretend Tina is unattractive or ‘dumb’ just because I disagree with her politics.

  • right-is-wrong

    writer said:
    One difference is, I don’t pretend Tina is unattractive or ‘dumb’ just because I disagree with her politics.

    Sarah Palin is EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE.
    That statement was DUMB.

  • http://twitter.com/pewestlake Paul Westlake

    writer said:
    One difference is, I don’t pretend Tina is unattractive or ‘dumb’ just because I disagree with her politics.

    I disagree with Sarah’s politics AND I think she’s ignorant. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. ;-)

  • writer

    Ah, the open-minds of the left. That’s why so much air gets in.

  • felixw

    Big_F-ing_Deal said:
    If you can’t make fun of an anti-masturbation, evolution denying, devil worshipping, human/mouse-brain conspiracy theorist teabagger who can you make fun of?

    You are definitely an expert on the mouse brain part of the equation.

  • writer

    BFD can mock anyone. Well, except Muslims. That makes him cry.

  • felixw

    Paul Westlake said:
    If the people who morphed into the Tea Party wanted to engage with Democrats, they wouldn’t have spent the entire summer of ‘09 shouting them down in town halls over health care… you know, when the details were really kinda important. They have shown no propensity for compromise or dialogue on any issue.

    This is amazing revisionist history. The people showed up at Town Hall meetings and wanted answers on government responsibility and fiscal accountability. The politicians couldn’t answer these questions, and eventually canceled future Town Hall meetings. Politicians hide from voters questions, and you blame the voters.

  • MiddleRoader

    Republitarian said:
    This is probably the 30th or so SNL episode since Barack Obama took the oath of office. And, in those 30 or so shows, can anyone remember a single joke SNL has done at Barack Obama’s expense – just one?

    When SNL became a propaganda arm of the DNC, it stopped being relevant – and that was about 25 years ago.

    Wrong. Check this link out…

    http://www.bing.com/videos/watch/video/snl-crackin-obama-jokes-oh-no-day-dint/659108352f04e4c05f84659108352f04e4c05f84-168063141384?q=snl%20parady%20of%20obama&FORM=VIRE3

  • shootfromthehip

    Nice try Felix.

    “The people showed up at Town Hall meetings and wanted answers on government responsibility”

    You mean the PAID people who the health care industry bussed in to manufacture outrage in a (failed) attempt to derail the health care bill.

  • http://twitter.com/pewestlake Paul Westlake

    felixw said:
    This is amazing revisionist history. The people showed up at Town Hall meetings and wanted answers on government responsibility and fiscal accountability. The politicians couldn’t answer these questions, and eventually canceled future Town Hall meetings. Politicians hide from voters questions, and you blame the voters.

    Felix, cut it out. There’s freaking MILES of video tape of reactionary right-wingers shouting down Democrats at meeting after meeting using the exact talking points used by the Tea Party Express and others in 2009. These weren’t calm crowds, reasonably stating their opinions in carefully crafted explanations, these were mobs, shouting epithets, often instigated by people from outside those communities. It was a near riot on several occasions. EVERYONE knows what happened. You can’t possibly believe that line will work. And you get an “F” for effort because that’s, like, Gordon Bloyer-level bloviating. ;-)

  • http://twitter.com/pewestlake Paul Westlake

    And, by the way, if ANY Dem had shouted down one of those clowns like Christie did the other day, the right wing would have gone ballistic. And you know it.

  • right-is-wrong

    Paul Westlake said:
    And, by the way, if ANY Dem had shouted down one of those clowns like Christie did the other day, the right wing would have gone ballistic. And you know it.

    I hear dat

  • http://sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/ GlennBeckReview

    right-is-wrong says:
    “Hmm, hmm, hmm
    Az-ark-han
    Another idiot reactionary”

    Aside from Ron Paul, name 5 other reactionaries who are not idiots.

  • http://sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/ GlennBeckReview

    Republitarian said: “This is probably the 30th or so SNL episode since Barack Obama took the oath of office. And, in those 30 or so shows, can anyone remember a single joke SNL has done at Barack Obama’s expense – just one?”

    They have an actor who portrays Obama, and it’s not in a favorable light. Republitarian, you might want to actually watch SNL before you demonstrate how much you DON’T know next time.

    Otherwise, you give us an unfavorable view of all “Republitarians.”

  • Rogue-Comic

    Paul Westlake said:
    Liberals and Democrats aren’t the ones that need convincing about common ground – look to your own.

    My kind doesn’t exist anymore.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Helen-Nordo/100000884291530 Helen Nordo

    The White House is pulling out all stops to stop the landslide victory that will occur in November. Of course, we all know that Obama has the Media in the palm of his hand, although any other President was allowed to be laughed at, mocked, whatever, Obama appears almost “saintly”, I say that sparingly since he is only lately attending a christian church & hasn’t reached the point of “sainthood” yet, that’s for us dumb, Pope loving, republicans, although you never know, he might change..he’s very good at …change!. SNL…ahh, for the good ole Johnny Carson days, when a joke wasn’t mentioned from the waist down, how desperate must this gang be..are they fresh out of college..or are they so cocky that they think the public will swallow any of their parodies. I am so sick of them, the last time I laughed was when that same young lady, who did a poor imitation of O’Donnell, sang “God Bless America”….that was funny..now that they are parodying political figures..they are silly..and it is so very inappropriate besides, it’s a waste of time, the republicans will win, I assure you. God Bless America!

  • oPad
  • right-is-wrong

    GlennBeckReview said:
    Aside from Ron Paul, name 5 other reactionaries who are not idiots.

    Are you a Ron Paul fan?

  • http://twitter.com/pewestlake Paul Westlake

    Rogue-Comic said:
    My kind doesn’t exist anymore.

    Last of the Mohicans, huh? I tip my hat to whatever species you belonged to. ;-)

  • http://twitter.com/pewestlake Paul Westlake

    right-is-wrong said:
    Are you a Ron Paul fan?

    Not speaking for GBR, but I recognize Ron Paul as a true libertarian – civil rights for all, no foreign entanglements, end the drug war, audit the Fed. He’s true blue, not like the faux-libertarian reactionary libertines, including his neer-do-well son.

  • right-is-wrong

    Paul Westlake said:
    Not speaking for GBR, but I recognize Ron Paul as a true libertarian – civil rights for all, no foreign entanglements, end the drug war, audit the Fed. He’s true blue, not like the faux-libertarian reactionary libertines, including his neer-do-well son.

    You mean slap a Libertarian label on a Monkey and we’ll vote for them?

  • http://twitter.com/pewestlake Paul Westlake

    right-is-wrong said:
    You mean slap a Libertarian label on a Monkey and we’ll vote for them?

    You got the gist. ;-)

  • Yoda002

    felixw said:
    This is amazing revisionist history. The people showed up at Town Hall meetings and wanted answers on government responsibility and fiscal accountability. The politicians couldn’t answer these questions, and eventually canceled future Town Hall meetings. Politicians hide from voters questions, and you blame the voters.

    That is so untrue? You distort your facts just as much as Fox News.

  • http://sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/ GlennBeckReview

    right-is-wrong says: “Are you a Ron Paul fan?”

    Yes and no. Paul is a true Libertarian and pretty consistent in that. I admire him for that and voted for him in the 2008 primary here in NY. (State rules: we can’t cross party lines in primaries.) My primary concern is with foreign policy, and Paul was the only Republican who saw the Iraqi war for what it is and wanted to get us out.

    On the other hand, he’s been supportive of conspiracy theories that don’t hold water. He’s also against government doing anything to protect people from corporate malfeasance.

    Let’s say that I’m with him and against him. The point I was making is that he’s an intelligent reactionary, and that is a rare combination.

  • http://sharethisurlaboutglennbeck.com/ GlennBeckReview

    Yoda002 says: “You distort your facts just as much as Fox News.”

    The words Fox and News do not belong next to each other. If it wasn’t clear previously, it’s become overwhelmingly clear in this election year that Fox is a political operation with one aim: defeat the left including moderate Republicans who have had the gall to work on problems with Democrats.

    Sadly, people who believe that nonsense on Fox haven’t figured this out.

  • right-is-wrong

    GlennBeckReview said:
    right-is-wrong says: “Are you a Ron Paul fan?”

    Yes and no. Paul is a true Libertarian and pretty consistent in that. I admire him for that and voted for him in the 2008 primary here in NY. (State rules: we can’t cross party lines in primaries.) My primary concern is with foreign policy, and Paul was the only Republican who saw the Iraqi war for what it is and wanted to get us out.

    On the other hand, he’s been supportive of conspiracy theories that don’t hold water. He’s also against government doing anything to protect people from corporate malfeasance.

    Let’s say that I’m with him and against him. The point I was making is that he’s an intelligent reactionary, and that is a rare combination.

    So maybe better than most from both sides?

  • Republitarian

    MiddleRoader said:
    Wrong. Check this link out…

    Wow, that’s compelling. You’ve linked to the ONE cold-opening in over thirty shows where Obama was the butt of the joke. Yep, that’s balance, right there, 30-1. With math skills like that, no wonder our unemployment is in double-digits.

  • possumdearie

    O’Donnell’s campaign for the Senate is another epic masturbatory failure in a long career, but the baggers gave her $2.6 million, so this time when her boyfriend pays her rent with campaign funds, she’ll have change.

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