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Homophobic Group That Protested Ellen Now Taking On New Ultimate Evil: Archie Comics

» 32 comments

Hey, remember that whacky group of funsters, One Million Moms? You remember. They’re the folks who protest homosexuality in the media and have at least one huge problem with their name (I’ll give you a hint; it’s not the “mom” part). Anyway, coming off a protest of JCPenney and Ellen DeGeneres that was so successful that even Bill O’Reilly mocked them, the group has chosen a new evil to combat; Archie comics.

RELATED: Ellen DeGeneres Thanks Bill O’Reilly For Defending Her

You see, in case you don’t follow the adventures of Jughead and the gang, the town of Riverdale has a gay person in it. Obviously, this is worse than war, famine, and cancer combined, so the assorted mothers of One Million Moms have begun a new petition (it worked so well last time, guys!) to get Toys R Us to take Archie off the shelves:

“Select Toys ‘R’ Us stores are now selling ‘Archie’ comic books with a same-sex wedding displayed on the front cover. The front cover reads “Just Married” with two men marrying and one is wearing a service uniform. This comic book is being sold in select stores across the country. One example is the Queensbury, NY location in the upstate New York area.

Toys ‘R’ Us employees do not actually set up the displays; they leave this up to the vendor, but they should be aware of the merchandise being sold in their stores nonetheless. These comic books are sold at the front checkout counters so they are highly visible to employees, managers, customers and children. Unfortunately, children are now being exposed to same-sex marriage in a toy store. This is the last place a parent would expect to be confronted with questions from their children on topics that are too complicated for them to understand. Issues of this nature are being introduced too early and too soon, which is becoming extremely common and unnecessary.

A trip to the toy store turns into a premature discussion on sexual orientation and is completely uncalled for. Toys ‘R’ Us should be more responsible in the products they carry.

TAKE ACTION

Please send Toys ‘R’ Us an email letter requesting they remove all the same-sex ‘Just Married – Archie’ comic books immediately from their shelves.”

I know what you’re thinking; this is truly shocking. I had no idea people bought comic books at Toys R Us either.

Anyway, John Goldwater, Co-CEO of Archie Comics, has released a statement in response. Clearly, he and his co-workers are just shaking in their boots:

“We stand by Life with Archie #16. As I’ve said before, Riverdale is a safe, welcoming place that does not judge anyone. It’s an idealized version of America that will hopefully become reality someday. We’re sorry the American Family Association/OneMillionMoms.com feels so negatively about our product, but they have every right to their opinion, just like we have the right to stand by ours. Kevin Keller will forever be a part of Riverdale, and he will live a happy, long life free of prejudice, hate and narrow-minded people.“

I think what’s most hilarious about this (besides everything) is that the gay character, Kevin Keller, has been in the comic since 2010. Last year, he was first shown to be in a same sex marriage thanks to a future storyline. At the time, I predicted that there would be silly outrage. But, you know what happened? Nothing. Nobody cares.

And why would they? Seriously, Ellen and Archie? Does One Million Moms purposefully choose their targets by thinking of the least offensive things imaginable? I mean, this group would probably be able to rile up more anger if they started protesting my friend Tom. Hell, that guy was a poor sport when I beat him in foosball the other night. Clearly, he’s a more offensive gay guy than anything printed in the pages of Archie f**king Comics.

But, hey, maybe there’s a reason for One Million Moms’ bizarre (is “stupid” too strong a word?) choices. As we all know, the group has way less than a million members. Maybe the number in their name actually refers to the amount of free time they have on their hands. After all, anyone’s bound to go a little crazy with after one million hours straight of twiddling their thumbs. Hell, if we all chipped in, sent the group copies of The Lovely Bones, and told them to start a book club, none of this would probably happen.

Whatever the case, One Million Moms should just keep on doing what their doing. They’re like those folks in the 50s who went on TV while missing half their teeth and started complaining about that “gol’ dern integration.” No matter what they say, they’re just helping the other side.

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  • Anonymous

    I have never heard of One Million Moms before they protested Ellen.  And then they protested Ellen, and you know what I did?  I went to their website.

    This is how companies with no leverage or legitimacy do – they say something outrageous, and hope it makes the headlines.  Lots of people do this – i.e. Glenn Beck, Ed Schultz, Tommy Christopher, and in this case, they have succeeded.

    So having given them more time in my life than is worthwhile, I will once again go back to my happy days of not knowing or giving a rat’s ass who or what one million moms is.  Never met one of these million moms, don’t want to.  Nor do I want to meet the children they are raising.   

  • Anonymous

    It didn’t work with JC Penny, why would it work with Toy’s R us? 

    Props to the company for sticking by their comic over such a silly issue

  • Anonymous

    Watch Out Scooby-Doo, They’re Coming For You Next !!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2KHZWZQZFPZASXZ4KOMIS27UFU a

    More like One Million Morons!

  • Anonymous

    I’d like to see some Betty on Veronica action.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gregory-Smith/100001741334953 Gregory Smith

    They’re not morons, they’re doing the same crap liberals do to us when the pressured Dr. Laura not to get a TV show, Glenn Beck to get fired, and Michael Savage to be kept out of TV.

    Do I support them? Only their right to free speech because frankly, I got no beef with same-sex marriage. My beef is with PC Nazis and hypocrites who accuse the right of being evil while they play the same games we play.
    http://libertarians4freedom.blogspot.com/
     

  • Anonymous

    Is it me or does Jon Bershad write a shitload of stories about the gays? Nothing wrong with that, just something I’ve noticed.

  • Anonymous

    lets be honest, Glenn Beck was pretty good about getting himself fired, if Roger Ailes thought he had value he would have kept him around 

  • Anonymous

    The left is “fixated” on the gay issue. 

    I have no problem with gay marriage and could never understand the “Don’t ask, don’t tell.”

  • Anonymous

    Difference is that liberals targeted people who couldn’t defend their bigotry. This group is going after people who are spreading tolerance. That’s why liberals won when they went after Dr. Laura & Glenn Beck while this so called million moms group is losings at every turn.

  • Anonymous

    I thought this group hated gays not pot heads. Hope they don’t go after Spiderman. Lot of innuendo in those comics.

  • Anonymous

    Poor Tommy, most bashed commentator on Medisite. It’s almost as if Mediaite hired him to troll people who come to this site. I have nothing against Tommy but if he gets to work for Mediaite, so should I. I could troll conservatives as well, especially if I got paid to do it.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/HQLM2YFIY2KEK5JFXIR4XUBVQY Ldyjaz

    Apparently these women have too much time on their hands.  What they really need to do is GET A LIFE. This is so trivial.  I grew up with Archie and I happen to like them and one’s sexual orientation is none of my business and none of their either!!

  • WiddleBabyDanielson

     The right is “fixated” on the any bedroom issue. 
    The right wants Gay marriage illegal.
    If you have no problem, perhaps you should reevaluate who you vote for.

  • WiddleBabyDanielson

    If there is nothing wrong, why notice?

  • WiddleBabyDanielson

     Idiot.
    It’s the opposite.
    Fighting INTOLERANCE or Preaching INTOLERANCE.

  • WiddleBabyDanielson

     Apparently Kathy Ireland has a problem with potheads.

  • Anonymous

    liberals do not want to spread tolerance……they want approval

  • Anonymous

    why? approve of gay marriage but don’t like the baby killing……tough call

  • Anonymous

    These One Million Moms really are a glaring example of social conservatism being related to a lower IQ.  They have no idea that their blind hatred drives up ratings and sales for the organizations that they target.  One Million Moms, half a million brain cells. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/matttwain Matt Twain

    If the left is so fixated on the gay issue then why is it the right that so wants to tell them what they can and cannot do when it comes to marriage?  What you see as “fixation” the rest of us see as a staunch defense when it comes to equality in this country.  I find it sad that you would think otherwise.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PKEQSTA4WOBYU5Z7QNSBUR2LXI MASSMURDERMEDIA

    “this is the last place a parent would expect to be confronted with questions from their children on topics that are too complicated for them to understand.”

    better their children deal with the more innocent, understandable fare toys ‘r us has to offer, such as “grand theft auto”…

  • Verreauxii

    Typical RW losers. 

  • Anonymous

    I have plenty of friends from both sides of the aisle. The R’s talk about the economy. The D’s talk social issues. 

    Yes, this is just my group, but having watched many t-party videos and their speeches, they are stuck on the economy, not social issues. 

  • Smack80

    Or half-naked, anorexic Barbies!

  • Anonymous

    I don’t see your point.

  • Smack80

    You bad!

  • Smack80

    They do seem to “action” and “reaction” confused.

  • Anonymous

    >> Jon Bershad: “One Million Moms should just keep on doing what their doing. They’re
    like those folks in the 50s who went on TV while missing half their
    teeth and started complaining about that “gol’ dern integration.”

    PUH-LEEZE, Bershad. Gimme a break from such blathering, holier-than-thou bullsh*t, which was only appropriate to insert at the end simply because it was ALREADY a blathering bullsh*t article.

    The CASE for the Million Moms vocally protesting is best summed up by GK123 who said: “I had never heard of One Million Moms before they protested Ellen. And you know what I did? I went to their
    website. This is how companies with no leverage or legitimacy do — they say something outrageous and hope it makes the headlines. Lots of people
    do this…and in this
    case, they have succeeded.”

    Now, after visiting their web site, GK didn’t like the Million Moms’ stance — but, hey, at least he’s being smart (and fair) in recognizing that ALL sides do this exact same thing to garner attention to their cause or beliefs. So given our free speech rights, I see absolutely no harm in the Moms speaking out against this comic given THEIR traditional views when it comes to an emotionally charged issue like gay marriage.

    Just for the record — in times past, comic publishers such as Marvel, DC and Archie followed the guidelines of the Comic Code Authority, which was an actual review board set up to make sure that excessive violence, blood, swearing, sexual situations (etc, etc, etc) wasn’t making it’s way into the truly mainstream comics that the publishers CLEARLY were targeting at kids. And truth to be told, the publishers mutually agreed to follow the guidelines at the behest of the comic RETAIL shops, who got tired of parents storming into their shops and slapping down comics that their kids had bought earlier, all the while bursting a blood vessel and yelling: “You sold THIS to my kid??? This comic that shows (insert sexual image here) where they say (insert profanity here)!!!!”

    And that’s WHY the Mom’s do have a VALID point. Most parents visiting Toys R Us are probably NOT expecting a pro-Gay marriage comic to be sitting right in the open for little Suzie or Billy to pick up. In fact, at my local Toys R Us, they have a fair sized comic display that is nestled right between the Young Boys entry action figures for boys and entry level Dolls for girls — so CLEARLY store management placed the comics there thinking they ARE meant for very young kids.

    Which brings me to my final point…

    >> Ldyjaz: “Apparently these women have too much time on their hands. What they
    really need to do is GET A LIFE. This is so trivial. I grew up with
    Archie and I happen to like them and one’s sexual orientation is none of
    my business and none of theirs either!”

    Uhh…nice try, except that the whole PROBLEM with your argument and logic is that — on the one hand — you’re defiantly saying a person’s sexual orientation is none of your business, while yours is none of theirs either…

    …Yet the whole POINT of staging this particular “wedding themed” comic was to SPECIFICALLY promote a particular sexual orientation. In fact, Archie’s publisher and the writer of this issue have PUBLICLY STATED that the whole POINT of this issue is to promote the cause.

    So, sorrry, but you can’t have it both ways. You can’t argue that sexual orientation should be everyone’s personal and private business behind closed doors…but then turn around and say “Well, except when it comes to Gay marriage. In which case it’s perfectly okay to promote the hell out of it and make it as PUBLIC as possible, so we can get legislators and voters to bend to OUR Liberal way of thinking. Even if it means sneaking comic books about the topic to little kids when their parents aren’t looking, to indoctrinate them to OUR way of thinking as early as possible.”

    Of course the most LAUGHABLE line that Bershad wrote was this:

    >> “Last year, he was first shown to be in a same sex marriage thanks to a future storyline. At the time, I predicted that there would be silly outrage. But, you know what happened? Nothing. Nobody cares.”

    Nobody cares because nobody buys freaking Archie comics anymore. They’ve have been in the crapper for years, which is why — as a publisher — they’ve been doing silly, frantic hand-waving “Hey, look at us!  We’re still relevant!” stunts (like this wedding issue) for a while now, to try and desperately get ANY press or attention. Because given their sales figures, they need it!

  • Centrist79

    They have every right to protest as Americans, but the Southern Povery Law Center has labeled this organization as a hate group.

  • Чёрт Возьми

    What about Ziggy? He is the real pervert. No pants!
    I really miss Blondie. She was HOT!
    Oh. Only comic books count. The ones with the superheroes who wear their underwear on the outside and painted on “clothes” under that! Shocking and disgusting.

  • Kathleen Wrest

    One Million Moms–sub-group of the American Family Association–surprise–a Koch funded organization 

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