Tiger Woods Announces “Indefinite Break” From Golf; WSJ Encourages Gossip!

Let’s call this Redemption: Act I. In a new post on his official website, beleaguered golfer and insatiable lothario Tiger “Cheetah” Woods announced that he will be taking an “indefinite break from professional golf.” And maybe extramarital sex? “I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person,” a spokesperson likely wrote, under the guise that the words were straight from the Tiger’s mouth.

The brief post, which first appeared online Friday night, begins with another apology, in which the original “situation,” which became the euphemistic “transgressions” finally becomes “infidelity”:

I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I’ve done, but I want to do my best to try.

Woods goes on to ask for understanding, time and privacy during his time of “personal healing.” Next up? Our money’s on an undisclosed form of rehab, “leaked” to the press. Oh, and a divorce. Read the rest of the statement here.

Meanwhile! Saturday’s Wall Street Journal tackles the moral grey-ground of gossiping, pegging the analysis to the ongoing Tiger Woods sex saga. It’s juicy stuff from our favorite business daily. “When Gossip Is Good: The social value of Tiger’s transgressions” contends that though the practice has a “bad reputation,” gossip can often help people, serving as both a warning system and “moral instruction.”

And it’s written by an expert: Nicholas DiFonzo, professor of psychology at Rochester Institute of Technology and author of The Watercooler Effect. “The Tiger gossip is replete with moral messages and motivations that are compelling, instructive and powerful,” he writes. And “just when we thought the airwaves and tabloids could not tell any more lurid tales about the moral failings of sports figures that we admire, it turns out that maybe we’re learning something.” So go learn something! And at tonight’s dinner, go all in on this golfer guy, because it’s good for you.

Tiger Woods: When Gossip Is Good [Wall Street Journal]

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