Stephen Colbert: Mitch McConnell Has A Plan To Cut Off GOP’s Nuts Caught In A Vise

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by Colby Hall | 8:51 am, July 14th, 2011

» 16 comments

The current negotiation between President Obama and House Republicans over raising the debt ceiling can, at times, be a difficult story to follow. The seeming disparity between discussions behind closed doors and public statements of pea-eating and reports of individuals storming out of those discussions leave any concerned citizen confused and frustrated. Thankfully, we national treasure Stephen Colbert, who last night effortlessly cut through the rhetoric and posturing to tell his audience what was really going on: this negotiation has the GOP’s nuts caught in a vise, but Sen. Mitch McConnell has a plan to cut them free.

After setting up the entire story, which culminated with the GOP having their nuts caught in the vise, Colbert ran a clip of McConnell saying “the president has presented us with three choices: smoke and mirrors, tax hikes or default. republicans choose none of the above,” to which Colbert offered that “coincidentally, ‘none of the above’ is also the leading republican presidential candidate.

Colbert then offered the following simple and easy to follow description of McConnell’s strategy, saying:

To keep the Republicans from being blamed for raising taxes or defaulting all they have to do is ask the president to submit a request to congress to raise the debt ceiling. Then, vote yes on a resolution disapproving of the thing they asked the president to do. Then, Obama would veto the disapproval, and since the republicans don’t have the two thirds majority to override the veto, the debt ceiling gets raised and the Republicans get to say they voted against it. Twice.

Why is this a brilliant strategy? As Colbert continues:

The GOP gets everything they want, except anything they asked for. And Obama gets stuck with what he wanted to begin with. And McConnell has gotten their nuts out of that vise — by cutting them off and leaving them behind for Obama to hang from his rear view mirror as an air freshener.

Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

Barack Obama schools, debt crisis, Eric Cantor, Mitch McConnell, stephen colbert, The Colbert Report

Just4thefax

Fact: Sorry liberals he made a funny and you as comedian should have got the joke but you’re just too liberal.
Devil’s Spawn (formerly George L)

I got the joke. Why would think I didn’t?
THE REAL ROYAL KING

I think anyone who had ever walked through a junior high locker room would have gotten the joke.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Ryan-Stoots/100000918732763 Ryan Stoots

Has anyone else noticed Mediate is almost nothing but Republican bashing? The Democrats have been in charge since 2006, but the media still focus their attention on Republicans. They do this in order to give the impression that Republicans are still calling all the shot and take heat off Democrats.

I still remember in 2005 when Jon Stewart said that he focused so much attention of Republicans because, “they’re the ones in charge”. I think its safe to say he was full of crap.
THE REAL ROYAL KING

Ryan Stoots said:
Has anyone else noticed Mediate is almost nothing but Republican bashing? The Democrats have been in charge since 2006, but the media still focus their attention on Republicans. They do this in order to give the impression that Republicans are still calling all the shot and take heat off Democrats.

I still remember in 2005 when Jon Stewart said that he focused so much attention of Republicans because, “they’re the ones in charge”. I think its safe to say he was full of crap.

How is the story about Joy Behar’s show Republican bashing?
lane

THE REAL ROYAL KING said:
How is the story about Joy Behar’s show Republican bashing?

1 positive or neutral story for every 10 negative stories is almost the definition of bias. If they had 10 negative stories about black Americans for every 1 positive story, that too would be biased. Just more obvious I suppose.
The same thing happened with Hillary. She had low negatives because every media story focused on negative aspects. It’s unfair regardless of the topic. Hillary would have been a great President, Obama is the worst since Carter. Media bias is both real and destructive.
TillieGlockenspiel

Sometimes, I want to scream over the misuse of language by “professional” writers- both online and print.

It’s V*I*S*E, Colby, not “vice.”

And, it’s “rein” in (like reining in a horse), NOT “reign” like a monarch.

Spellcheck is a detriment to good writing.
disgusted

That’d, probably be an “improvement” – BUT apply THE “CURE” TO all POLs ! – BOTH partiy(s). . .
Just4thefax

Fact; Colbert is a jerk that took over a NASA ISS module naming contest for children to name one of the its new modules. He had his viewers out number the children texting to name it and tried to get it named Colbert instead. He is a low life, period.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Danny-Isbell/735618466 modans1955

Just4thefax said:
Fact; Colbert is a jerk that took over a NASA ISS module naming contest for children to name one of the its new modules. He had his viewers out number the children texting to name it and tried to get it named Colbert instead. He is a low life, period.

Fact: you’re such a moron that you whine about anything.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Danny-Isbell/735618466 modans1955

Just4thefax said:
Fact: Sorry liberals he made a funny and you as comedian should have got the joke but you’re just too liberal.

FACT: the Gas and Oil Party raised the Debt Ceiling 17 times under Reagan and 7 times under Duh-bya.
Greg

…septuagenarian ninja turtle… great segment.
2012freedom

modans1955 said:
the Gas and Oil Party raised the Debt Ceiling 17 times under Reagan and 7 times under Duh-bya.

First of all, the number of times means absolutely nothing. It is the AMOUNT that matters. If you raised it 20 times for a grand total of $200 billion vs. raising it 1 time for a total of $900 billion it is the second example that matters. Next, it would be interesting to know which party controlled the House during those times.
Tedderman

The question still remains….why is the deficit only a matter of great concern to the nation when a Democrat holds the White House? I guess Dick Cheney said it best “Reagan proved deficits don’t matter.” Never mind, it’s a rhetorical question.
Jersey Shore Conservative

Colbert forgot to mention that “None of the above” GOP candidate still beats Obama by 8%.

http://www.gallup.com/poll/148487/Republican-Candidate-Extends-Lead-Obama.aspx

July 14, 2011, “Registered voters by a significant margin now say they are more likely to vote for the “Republican Party’s candidate for president” than for President Barack Obama in the 2012 election, 47% to 39%.”
CosmosDan

That was hilarious.