Lady Gaga Reveals She Had a ‘Total Psychotic Break’ After Being Raped and Left Pregnant as a Teenager
Lady Gaga revealed she had a “total psychotic break” after she was raped by a music producer at 19-years-old and left pregnant “on a corner.”
“I was 19 years old, and I was working in the business, and a producer said to me, ‘Take your clothes off,'” she said. “And I said no. And I left, and they told me they were going to burn all of my music. And they didn’t stop. They didn’t stop asking me, and I just froze and I—I don’t even remember.”
Lady Gaga, whose given name is Stefani Germanotta, made the revelation on Apple TV Plus’ new docuseries The Me You Can’t See — produced by Prince Harry and Oprah Winfrey.
The musician also discussed her PTSD prognosis, which she went public with in 2016, sharing that she was diagnosed years after the incident, as she was suffering from chronic pain.
“First I felt full-on pain, then I went numb,” shared the Oscar winner. “And then I was sick for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks after, and I realized that it was the same pain that I felt when the person who raped me dropped me off pregnant on a corner. At my parents’ house because I was vomiting and sick. Because I’d been being abused. I was locked away in a studio for months.”
Lady Gaga had previously opened up about her rape during an interview with Howard Stern, saying it made her “a shell of [her] former self” — yet she went into greater detail about the incident during the docuseries.
“I had a total psychotic break, and for a couple years, I was not the same girl,” she said. “The way that I feel when I feel pain was how I felt after I was raped. I’ve had so many MRIs and scans where they don’t find nothing. But your body remembers.”
The Grammy award-winning artist also disclosed her history with self-harm, admitting her actions ultimately made her feel worse.
“It’s a really very real thing to feel like there’s a black cloud following you wherever you go, telling you that you’re worthless and should die,” she said. “And I used to scream and throw myself against the wall.”
“You know why it’s not good to cut? You know why it’s not good to throw yourself against the wall? You know why it’s not good to self-harm? Because it makes you feel worse,” she added. “You think you’re going to feel better because you’re showing somebody, ‘Look, I’m in pain.’ It doesn’t help.”
Watch above, via HLN.
If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, you are not alone and help is available.
Text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
RAINN, the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network is also available at 1-800-656-4673; and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.
