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Ready Your Crisis Gardens For The Impending Government Collapse

Remember December 1999, when everyone started fearfully planning for the impending Y2K Armageddon by stuffing their basements with gallons of water and cans of barely-edible processed vegetables? To Glenn Beck listeners– and, as of yesterday, viewers– that’s about to start happening all over again. While having aired several times on his radio program before (and making appearances on other right-wing pundits’ pages), viewers got a first taste of the Survival Seed Bank’s “Crisis Garden” seeds last night during Beck’s program, where the ad argued that “non-hybrid seeds could become more valuable than even silver or gold” in the impending economic collapse.

The Survival Seed Bank advertises itself as a company selling vegetable- and fruit-producing seeds for use in developing one’s own crops once the nation collapses under the prodigious weight of its own massive government. The first thing to be affected, they claim, is the food supply, which will diminish in no time. And by “no time,” they mean (emphasis mine):

As the meltdown progresses, one of the first things to be affected will be our nation’s food supply. Expect soaring prices along with moderate to severe shortages by spring. If you don’t have the ability to grow your own food next year, your life may be in danger. Supply lines for food distribution in this country are about three days, meaning a dependence on “just in time” distribution systems, which will leave store shelves empty in the event of even the smallest crisis.

To keep your family safe and save tons of money on food, grow your own! Survival Seed Bank offers “nutrient-dense food for pennies per pound… enough to feed friends and family forever!” They also promise the seeds won’t be genetically modified or hybrids, which doesn’t seem particularly smart, since genetic modification of plants has produced larger, stronger, and more nutritious crops.

The Survival Seed company even has a testimonials page, where an overjoyed Brian Williams (sadly, not the one on NBC Nightly News) stands around his survival crops, exclaiming, “People would drive down my street to see ‘the garden in the front yard’!” It sounds a bad idea to publicize that your garden has delicious survival crops when the impending international crisis forces all Americans to loot and scavenge their neighbors’ houses for food, but Mr. Williams simply couldn’t keep the secret to himself. And there are plenty more satisfied customers on the page.

The survival seed mania seems to have been partially driven by stories circulating on World Net Daily, which gets name-dropped on the Survival Seed site, suggesting that the government is hoarding and increasingly regulating food for nefarious reasons. WND has been pursuing the issue frequently, running articles denouncing the government for attempting to inspect a cow farm, hiding the impending food shortage from the American people and uninvitedly playing chef in our kitchens (that last piece by WND superstar Chuck Norris). The campaign seems to have worked, as the fears have spawned a company dedicated to make America once again a nation of farmers, and one capable of getting airtime on one of the most-watched program in cable news.

To put a face to the phrase “Crisis Garden,” check out the ad that aired during The Glenn Beck Program last night below:

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