Stephen Colbert Fumes Over Trump Win in Downtrodden Monologue: ‘I’m Guessing You’re Not Doing Great… Yeah, Me Neither’

The Late Show host Stephen Colbert delivered a reassuring monologue to his viewers on Wednesday after President-elect Donald Trump defeated Vice President Kamala Harris in the 2024 presidential election.

“Hey there, how are you doing? If you watch this show regularly, I’m guessing you’re not doing great,” said Colbert at the beginning of his show. “Yeah, me neither.”

He continued:

Today, some people said to me, “Sorry you have to do a show tonight,” which is nice of them to say, but I don’t have to do a show. I get to do a show tonight. I’m so grateful to be with all of these talented people, those people over here, those people that you’ll never see, with the audience in the Ed Sullivan, with you people at home, because especially at times like this, what do we most want to be? Not alone. So thanks for being here. We’re gonna do a comedy show, it’s a comedy show, we’re gonna do some jokes in just a minute because that’s what we do, and I’ll let you in on a little secret. No one gets into this business because everything in their life worked out great, so we’re built for rough roads. You guys ready?

Colbert then played a compilation of reactions to Trump’s victory, including a compilation of supposed international reactions, which included Harry Potter and Super Mario.

The CBS host then launched into his full monologue — where he took numerous shots at Trump and his allies.

“Who knows what the next four years are going to be like,” he said. “What we do know is that we are going to be governed by a monstrous child surrounded by cowards and grifters.”

Watch above via The Late Show.