Concha: Why Would Rogen and Franco Serve Up a Sorry Surrender to North Korea?

Joe ConchaDec 16th, 2014, 7:09 pm

Good thing Seth Rogen and James Franco are actors on screen rather than soldiers at war, because they’d be the first to throw their hands up before the first shot was fired.

As you may have read here, the co-stars of THE FILM THAT DESTROYED SONY — otherwise known as The Interview — have decided (in the name of public safety as well as their own) to cancel all media appearances leading up to the release of the movie, set to (maybe) release next week.

Despite appeasing Dear Leader, Rogen did reportedly put up a fight when studio execs ordered the movie be toned down (via multiple edits to the finished product) in an effort to not further offend the sensibilities of an already insanely insecure and hyperbolic communist regime nearly 6,000 miles away from Hollywood. In a related story, Sony will be replacing the “S” in its name to a “Ph”.

So what caused Rogen and Franco to surrender to what may be Pyongyang’s well-financed Geek Squad? Perhaps it was this threat that was released to the world today:

We will clearly show it to you at the very time and places The Interviewbe shown, including the premiere, how bitter fate those who seek fun in terror should be doomed to. Soon all the world will see what an awful movie Sony Pictures Entertainment has made. The world will be full of fear. Remember the 11th of September 2001. We recommend you to keep yourself distant from the places at that time. (If your house is nearby, you’d better leave.) Whatever comes in the coming days is called by the greed of Sony Pictures Entertainment. All the world will denounce the SONY.

Obviously, those ominous CAPS at the end must have been the straw that broke Rogen’s backbone. Of course, what the stars don’t seem to understand is that North Korea makes threats like this just about every other day. Here are the top three from the Kim Jong-Un era alone:

While warning to South Korea (2013): “Baengnyeong Island will become a huge grave. If you don’t want to be a ghost in a hell fire, you better decide. We can give you only one suggestion. Run.” End result of threat: Nothing happened.

Another threat to South Korea (2013): “If the South recklessly provokes us again, the sea of fire at Yeonpyeong will turn into a sea of fire at the Blue House.” End result: Nothing happened.

In threat to the U.S. (yup, 2013): “If the U.S. imperialists threaten our sovereignty and survival… our troops will fire our nuclear-armed rockets at the White House and the Pentagon – the sources of all evil.” End result: The North Koreans tested yet another missile, which flew erratically for a few hundred feet before falling into the sea. Hopefully DC can borrow one of those Iron Domes from the Israelis before it’s too late.

You get the picture.

In the end, Sony execs completely caved by editing down the movie because the company couldn’t invest in a decent firewall to keep the NKGS (North Korean Geek Squad) out of its emails. Two employees have even initiated legal action against the studio in this regard. Now the film’s two millionaire stars are waving the white flag of surrender on the media front as well.

All of that said, if you’re going to see any movie besides American Sniper or Into the Woods this Christmas, be sure to check out The Interview…because nothing would upset the perpetually-upset North Korean government more than a huge opening weekend at the box office.

Oh, and here’s one item to add to your list of New Year’s resolutions: Vow to never find yourself stuck in a foxhole with Rogen and Franco.

— —
>> Follow Joe Concha on Twitter @JoeConchaTV

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.