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The Aflockalypse Rages On: 200 Dead Cows Found In Wisconsin

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» 27 comments

Just when you thought it was safe to emerge from your home without a torrent of dead birds raining down upon your head or take a romantic stroll on the beach without a half ton of fish carcasses washing up on shore comes news that a couple hundred cows have dropped dead in Wisconsin. BBQ, anyone?

The bovine blackout went down on a farm in snowy Portage County, Wisconsin. The cows’ owner had recently met with a local veterinarian, and it is believed the animals died from the IBR (infectious bovine rhinotracheitis) and BVD (that’s “bovine virus diarrhea”) virus, which can cause digestive, reproductive and respiratory problems in cows, but is not harmful to humans or other animals.

Samples from the cows have been sent to Madison, Wisconsin for testing in order to determine what, exactly, contributed to the animals’ deaths. (Hint: ALIENS.)

Here is the report from KOKI:

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  • CosmosDan

    I heard they found 99 dead baboons in Germany is that true? Or was that red balloons.

  • notsofast

    Must have been the fireworks.

  • ROCKSTEADY

    Poor farmer this was a huge amount of stock to lose all at once.

  • notsofast

    ROCKSTEADY said:
    Poor farmer this was a huge amount of stock to lose all at once.

    Yes, it was that violent rhetoric from the “right” that caused this!

  • http://twitter.com/SailRabbits Magister

    Where was Richard Dreyfuss while this was happening?

  • notsofast

    Magister said:
    Where was Richard Dreyfuss while this was happening?

    He was investigating a boating accident.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Say-No-To-Corporate-America/100001756749517 Say No To Corporate-America

    I have a FACT based theory with one explanation on all of the mass animal deaths. I hope it’s wrong but reports keep coming.
    South Dakota just reported over 200 dead birds and there were more in Alabama yesterday (1/17/11). And we’ve had mass deaths of large animals coming in. 200 cows were found dead in a field in Wisconsin on Friday and 7000 dead buffalo and cows in Vietnam on Saturday- Hundreds of seals and these explanations just don’t make much sense either. May be unrelated but it is concerning with so many other mass deaths! One thing is certain, officials are quick to say they are unrelated. How can they know?

    The scientists in Italy said the blue tinged beaks indicate POISON or HYPOXIA. I theorize POISON. I don’t see how hypoxia could be cause in air, fresh and salt water and poisoning is easily explained. over 30 mass kills at last count. Mass animal deaths do occur but not at this frequency (land and air simultaneously- “blue tinge beaks”). It is too long for this message and has links for sources – (It gives one explanation for all of these events. 5000 birds do not fall from the sky because of fireworks and 1000 birds do not fall dead because they overate! Drank to death?!? Hit by truck?!? Buffalo froze to death in 24F weather?!? This is serious and NOBODY believes officials because they are unbelievable. Please read the theory- we’re all in this together and awareness is important.
    People are freaking out and there is an explanation but you won’t hear it from authorities! Please read the theory on the blog “Say No to Corporate America”
    “A Factual Theory on the Mass Bird and Fish Kills; it is Poisoning!
    Thank you for posting this comment!
    saynotocorporateamerica blogspot

  • Powerslave

    Mickey D’s will take ‘em. They’re the largest purchaser of dairy cow meat in the world.

    Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder.

  • notsofast

    They said it was fireworks that killed the birds.

    I wonder if they had this in mind. Actually I like this Firework!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw

  • http://twitter.com/SailRabbits Magister

    notsofast said:
    He was investigating a boating accident.

    “Always” with the “Opus” and never just “Graffiti”.

  • Powerslave

    Magister said:
    “Always” with the “Opus” and never just “Graffiti”.

    But I think we must ask ourselves, “What about Bob?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ricky-Stacy/100002043360416 Ricky

    I keep telling everyone It was the Chick-Fil-A chickens that killed them

  • notsofast

    Magister said:
    “Always” with the “Opus” and never just “Graffiti”.

    Actually, he was Lost in Yonkers.

  • OxyCon

    There are reports of a Sarah Palin sighting near one of the dead calves, and she had a blood stained shirt and blood was dripping from her mouth.

  • OxyCon

    notsofast said:
    They said it was fireworks that killed the birds.

    I wonder if they had this in mind. Actually I like this Firework!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw

    You wouldn’t like hearing it live =\

  • notsofast

    OxyCon said:
    You wouldn’t like hearing it live =\

    I think I would especially if she is in one of her tight outfits.

    I saw her on Unplugged and she has a very good voice.

  • Alex Alvarez

    @Everyone: Keep the funny coming. You’re helping to brighten this incredibly rainy (in NY at any rate) Tuesday.

  • http://twitter.com/SailRabbits Magister

    notsofast said:
    Actually, he was Lost in Yonkers.

    …looking for Krippendorf’s Tribe.

  • huntingtonboy

    Finally that old lady’s question has been answered once and for all. Where’s the beef?

  • OxyCon

    notsofast said:

    OxyCon said:
    You wouldn’t like hearing it live =\

    notsofast says:
    I think I would especially if she is in one of her tight outfits.

    Ask and ye shall receive:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQv5V2Ljfa4

  • http://twitter.com/SailRabbits Magister

    Ricky said:
    I keep telling everyone It was the Chick-Fil-A chickens that killed them

    A couple of weeks ago, I embedded a graphic of the Chick-fil-a ad into a comment to another blog, where I blamed the cows for the bird deaths. I guess it seems only appropriate, they’d want payback.

  • OxyCon

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N99Re4ii3rw

    notsofast said:
    I think I would especially if she is in one of her tight outfits.

    I saw her on Unplugged and she has a very good voice.

    Here’s another one (I know it’s a spoof, but it’s funny):
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N99Re4ii3rw

  • felixw

    Sure dead cows….but did they fall from the sky?

  • ProgLib

    One less step in the hot dog making process, or maybe two, killing and freezing.

  • http://www.libertarianism.com/ Jack Burns

    notsofast said:
    Must have been the fireworks.

    Wrong. I checked it out with Michio Kaku , the physics professor at CUNY, He said the deaths are attributed to a lemming-like “mass suicide…..

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Say-No-To-Corporate-America/100001756749517 Say No To Corporate-America

    “Jets Go Up and Dead Birds Fall Down”
    Thousands of birds, millions of fish, thousands of buffalo, hundreds of cows, hundreds of penguins.
    ‘We the People’ better wake the _ up! POISON is not a laughing matter. Read why–> http://saynotocorporateamerica.blogspot.com/

  • nice_thought

    Southpark predicted this a long ago.

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