This Exists: Doggie Butt Covers

That’s right. You read that correctly. Finally you no longer need to be embarrassed by your dog’s exposed anus. A new product called “Rear Gear” protects your dog from “feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear.” Not sure who is going to actually buy this product, nor the psychological profile of the individual who had this idea. But if there is one thing in can say is that, yes, this is one of those rare instances where words fail.

The website Etsy has the product and order information that includes:

Is your pet feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear? I’ve got them covered… Rear Gear is handmade in Portland, OR and offers a cheerful solution to be-rid your favorite pet’s un-manicured back side.

Rear Gear comes in many designs including a disco ball, air freshener, heart, flower, biohazard, smiley face, number one ribbon, cupcake, sheriff’s badge, dice, and you can even make yours custom, so there’s a Rear Gear for everyone.

From Chris Hardwick/Nerdist:

Tired of staring at your dog’s ugly crap crevice? Well slap a sticker over that winker!

Whether you’re trying to conceal unsightly puckering or reduce temptation for your weird dog anus fetish, Rear Gear has a butthole cover for YOU. What happens when your dog starts pooping? I dunno! But I imagine it would be somewhat similar to having someone push a cake under a door and into a carpet. I guess you’d have to get one and then wait patiently while creepily focused on your dog’s ass with an unblinking eye to find out for sure.

Thanks, Rear Gear! This might motivate me to finally make a lipstick cap for awkward dog boners.

(h/t Nerdist)