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Top 9 Republican New Year’s Resolutions For 2013

Ah, it’s that time of year again. People make New Year’s resolutions in the hopes of becoming a better person in the following year. They join the gym, they buy NicoDerm patches, they resist the local pub calling their name… and then they return to normalcy a few days into the year.

New Year’s resolutions ultimately mean nothing because a vast majority of people don’t follow through. And understandably so. Why change your life because of some arbitrary date on a calendar?

Regardless, if individuals can make resolutions; why not a wide swath of people like, say… conservatives? Republicans? I’ve probably made it clear before that I am a libertarian (inside joke for the commenters — you know who you are), but regardless of my differences with social conservatives, neocons, and the Republican Party, here is a bit of unsolicited advice for what, perhaps, said people can do in 2013 to improve their political outlook.

Feel free to disagree or get offended, because we know you will (see fourth & fifth slides):


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