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Bill Maher: Rick Santorum ‘Thinks Life Begins At Erection’

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Stand-up comic and host of HBO’s Real Time Bill Maher took comedic aim at current GOP frontrunner Rick Santorum on Wednesday night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Twisting a popular pro-life slogan into a punchline, Maher said that the former Pennsylvania Senator “thinks life begins at erection,” and theorized that for Sen. Santorum, playing “hide the salami” involves actual cold cuts.

Leno asked Maher “What do you make of Rick Santorum’s surge?”

“Don’t even say that word about Rick Santorum,” Maher replied, referencing Santorum’s Google problem. “It sounds dirty.”

“Thinks life begins at erection, this guy,” Maher continued. “There are people like that, who think life begins the second the sperm hits the hoo-ha, that, you know, before the man can even light a cigarette or get up and get a towel, there is a third person in that room. Before the woman can even say, ‘What are you thinking?’ there is a third person in that room.”

Leno cut in with an unfortunate overshare. “Or the woman goes, ‘That’s it?’”

The absurd premise of Maher’s joke underscores a running theme in socially conservative politics. Being a socially conservative man doesn’t require you to do anything at all, other than telling women what to do. Can you imagine a law requiring men to look at their swimmers under a microscope before they masturbate, or requiring a penile probe under any circumstances? Legislatively speaking, having a penis, if you’ll pardon the expression, comes in handy.

Maher went on to observe that this election has recently been sidetracked, from the economy to social wedge issues like contraception and gay marriage. “I think it’s funny that — you know, this election, remember, up until recently, it was going to be — election. all about money, all about deficits and jobs and the deficit and they’re spending too much. This is what the — the Tea Party was so upset about, right?”

Maher continued, “And then, you know, somebody shoves a big gay penis in their face and they jump at it.”

While Maher’s overall point is correct, recent events have this election shaping up to be the Year of the Vagina. From the right’s all out assault on Planned Parenthood (thus far, a spectacular failure), to the Catholic church’s effort to control the vaginae of non-religious employees, to the Republican War on Contraception that the Obama administration drew them into, to the forced vaginal probing law that Virginia’s legislature is now considering, the 2012 election has become a fight for control of vaginas, by the bepenised. Come November, these guys might finally learn that this kind of control should be exercised by kegel muscles, not the government.

Here’s the clip, from The Tonight Show:


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  • Anonymous

    Not Maher’s best performance, but he clearly is trying to tone it down for a show that’s pretty vanilla at its core.

    But his point is correct. It’s hard to see how Santorum’s social conservatism (some might say his “severe” conservatism) is going to play in 2012 when it clearly sank his reelection to the Senate in 2006 — and that was in a year when standing against marriage equality was still considered a political winner.

  • D L

    Zzzzzzz…..

  • D L

    Uh, Santorum lost in ’06 because of his stubborn support of the Iraq War. Social issues had little to nothing to do with his loss, because his opponent, Bob Casey, was – and still is – a pro-lifer whom also opposed same-sex marriage.

  • Anonymous

    Yes, his support of the war was a factor, but to diminish the social issues is just incredibly naive. There’s a difference between being “pro-life” and being an anti-abortion warrior, which is what Santorum has clearly made himself. He’s put divisive social issues at the center of his campaign. That will play well in the GOP primaries and caucuses, but in a general election, it will be poison.

  • Centrist79

    The whole Terri Schiavo incident didn’t help his cause.

  • Anonymous

    The fact that he’s the latest (and strongest?) challenge to Mitt Romney’s frontrunner status points to the ideological cliff Republican voters are pushing their candidates off of. 

  • Anonymous

    God help the right if he is the eventual Republican nominee. People can argue that his views on homosexuality aren’t that big of a vote killer, but having a candidate that will bring every backward view the republican party has on woman’s health and other social issues onto the national stage will maim the republican party. No amount of PAC money can defend a candidate from words he’s spoken time and time again.

  • Anonymous

     Not to mention that Rick Santorum was the most corrupt member of Congress 2 years running in 2005 and 2006.

    Perhaps the most jarring detail from his tenure in office is the
    unorthodox $500,000 mortgage that Santorum and his wife secured on the
    home in rural Virginia they had purchased for $643,361. According to a
    series of reports in the Philadelphia Daily News, the mortgage came from
    Philadelphia Trust Company, a fledgling private bank catering to
    “affluent investors and institutions” whose officers had contributed
    $24,000 to Santorum’s political action committees and re-election
    campaign.

    In advertising, the lender said it only offered its
    preferred rates to well-heeled borrowers who also used their investment
    services. But Santorum’s public disclosure forms showed he did not have
    the required minimum $250,000 in liquid assets and was not an investor
    with Philadelphia Trust. His ability to secure the five-year loan led
    Sloan to file a complaint under a Senate ethics rule that specifically
    prohibits members from accepting a loan on terms not available to
    members of the general public. At the time, a Santorum spokeswoman told
    the Daily News that the mortgage terms were set at “market rates,” but
    did not provide further comment.
     
    After leaving Congress in 2007, Santorum sold the house for $850,000.

    Santorum Charity Backer Got Federal Earmark
     
    The
    other issue that captivated Santorum critics involved a non-profit
    charity called Operation Good Neighbor. Santorum founded the
    organization to “illustrate compassionate conservatism” but did not take
    a formal role in its day-to-day operations. The charity was run by his
    campaign staffers. It operated out of the same building as his campaign
    headquarters. And its board included several top Washington, D.C.
    lobbyists who had clients with millions of dollars in business before
    the U.S. Senate, according to a 2006 report by WTAE, the ABC News
    affiliate in Pittsburgh.
     
    The chairman of Operation Good Neighbor
    was Michael O’Neill, CEO of Preferred Real Estate. The company was
    involved in a waterfront development in Chester, Pa., that, with
    Santorum’s help, benefitted from more than $8 million in federal grants,
    according to local reports.
     
    O’Neill told ABC News that accusations suggesting the charity work and his development were connected were “crazy.”
     
    “My
    answer is absolutely not,” said O’Neill, who is now out of the real
    estate business. “I was never told, ‘If you do this, we’ll help with
    that.’ They were completely unrelated.”

    O’Neill said Santorum was
    a figurehead with the charity and that the senator derived no benefit
    from the work the charity performed — doling out contributions to small
    groups around the state. “He was proud of the work of the charity,”
    O’Neill said. “Rick helped bring exposure, but other than that, he
    didn’t get anything out of it.”
     
    O’Neill also said the former
    senator should be proud of the waterfront development, which he says has
    helped deliver 2,000 jobs to downtown Chester, where there is now a
    soccer stadium, an office building, and a casino.
     
    Santorum also
    defended the federal grants in a letter to the Philadelphia Daily News,
    saying his efforts to win federal money for O’Neill’s waterfront
    development represented “a prime example of how, when used
    appropriately, earmarks can be beneficial.”
     
    “When Preferred Real
    Estate became interested in investing in the region, specifically in
    the revitalization of a blighted former generating plant, I was ecstatic
    — this was exactly the type of project that could kick off a
    full-scale economic rebirth and help combat poverty,” he wrote. “So,
    working with the city, I helped bring federal money to improve access to
    the riverfront, renovating roads like Route 291 and Highland Avenue, as
    well as to better the environment of the riverfront, making it a more
    attractive place for Pennsylvanians to work and live.”
     
    O’Neill
    has not committed to supporting Santorum’s presidential bid, saying he
    is waiting to see if Santorum can focus on more mainstream economic
    issues, rather than social issues.

  • Anonymous

    … and from their words you’ll know what is in their hearts…
    Bill Maher is a sexual pervert… everything has to do with sex… every insult is sexualized… get a life or buy an Obama blowup doll.

  • NDanielson

    If only the brave little Maher would insult the tolerant Muslim religion as much as he does the Christian religion. He’d be forced into hiding, where no one would have to see is miserable little face again. He’s so brave and cutting edge, isn’t he?

    In fact, I wish all liberals would show that kind of bravery.

  • Anonymous

    Santorum believes ‘BIRTH CONTROL’ is harmful….

    He should’ve been a priest…

    He will NOT win Independents or any other sensible votes!

  • NDanielson

     Heck you’d think that hanging around such Americans as Tony Rezco, Bill Ayers, Frank Marshall (for that matter, LOL), the great American Jeremiah Wright, and an un-proud wife would be poison, huh?

  • Anonymous

    As I’ve said many times – often to the chagrin of the lefties who leap to the little fella’s defense – Maher is a punk.

    His approach to any topic is snark and sneer. He substitutes that for intellectual abilty and to the left he’s a genuine pundit. When what he is, well, a punk with a bully pulpit.

    He can’t deal with the issue of abortion on any level that rises above an eighth grade locker room.

  • Anonymous

    Rick also had the issue of collecting ~100k from the state of Pennsylvania while home schooling his kids in Virginal.  Being a fraud didn’t go over well with the voters.

  • NDanielson

     Wow, more corrupt than Charlie Rangel? Alcee Hastings? Maxine Waters? Nancy Pelosi? Rod Blagojevich? Barney Frank? Chris Dodd? Laura Richardson? Harry Land-deal Reid? William cold cash Jefferson? Ray Nagin??? LOL.

    Oh, and look how the community organizer-in-chief cleaned up Chicago. He made it such an attractive place (for corrupt politics). However, I cannot find one of the many success stories anywhere on that, can you?

  • Anonymous

    I know you would have to look real hard for a Maher insult on Islam, or maybe not. You should make at least a little effort to support your BS.

    http://www.mediaite.com/tv/bill-maher-afraid-mohammeds-islam-taking-over-western-world/

  • NDanielson

     You should learn to read better to clear your head of all of its BS: Note the bold for your big hint…

    If only the brave little Maher would insult the tolerant Muslim religion
    as much as he does the Christian religion.
    He’d be forced into hiding,
    where no one would have to see is miserable little face again. He’s so
    brave and cutting edge, isn’t he?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_SMUGSPLRKQOJBS5T6I4S5H2YSE Andy-48

    Thought you might get a kick out of this…

    And the devil took him up, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time, and said to him, “To you I will give all this authority and their glory; for it has been delivered to me, and I give it to whom I will. If you, then, will worship me, it shall all be yours.”

    And then the Devil approached the Evangelical Conservatives with the same proposition and they said

    “Hell Yes”

  • Anonymous

    He lives in a country where the leadership is mostly Christian, those are his targets. Of course Christian topics will be more common. His position is all religions are BS, you are just hyper sensitive to his rants on Christianity.

  • Anonymous

     Bill Maher: Rick Santorum ‘Thinks Life Begins At Erection’
    …while sewer-rat mayer (and all lunatic-left d-cRAT socilsit extremists) believe that DEATH should occur in a planned parenthood ABORTION FACTORY by ripping an unborn fetus out of a pregnant woman’s uterus.

  • NDanielson

     Now you even know the depth of my “sensitivity”? Wow, is there anything a liberal does not know?

    Of course you put your foot in your mouth by jumping to the mental midget”s support so quickly. He needs all the brain dead sheep he can get. But plow on undaunted, as if you said nothing stupid at all. Umm, do you stand corrected?

    Even Maher and Meathead know you are a sheep, LOL:


    Bill Maher Admits His Audience Are ‘Brainwashed Liberals’
    Read more: http://newsbusters.org/blogs/noel-sheppard/2012/01/13/bill-maher-admits-his-audience-are-brainwashed-liberals#ixzz1mZbg3X40

  • Anonymous

    Actually I don’t think you have any depth, so you are wrong on that point also.

  • Anonymous

    Bill Maher was being sarcastic….. He’s a Comedian if you didn’t notice.

    don’t worry you are a republican…. I know sarcasm/ political satire is hard to understand.

  • NDanielson

    Clovis4:  Actually I don’t think you have any depth, so you are wrong on that point also.

    —————————————

    So you lied? Wow your tenuous credibility is waning. LOL. I’m shocked. Step right in it, and then resort to another lie, and character assasination? I’m shocked again!

    See, there really is such thing as a typical liberal.

  • Anonymous

    “Being a socially conservative man doesn’t require you to do anything at
    all”

     

    As opposed to being a social liberal like Tommy Christopher, who risks life
    and limb every time he attacks the Catholic Church for not wanting to distribute
    condoms (excuse me, provide “women’s healthcare”) or lectures Andrew Breitbart about the latter’s lack of concern for women as evidenced by Breitbart discussing the preponderance of sexual assaults at OWS rallies. Sure social conservatives donate higher percentages of their income to charity, spend more time volunteering in soup kitchens and the like, and donate far more blood than social liberals, but hell, lefties like Tommy here can write articles criticizing conservatives for their political differences, which makes him and others like him so manifestly morally superior to those knuckle-dragging right-wingers.

  • Anonymous

    Love Bill Maher and his one-liners the effect of which is worth a PhD each :) 

  • Anonymous

    Hey, genius — which of those people are running for president?

  • Anonymous

    You’re wasting your valuable time trying to explain things to Danielson. You might as well be arguing with your shoe.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, all you Maher lovers. Here’s a classic Maher-style “joke”: Hey, did you hear several weeks ago Gabby Giffords called Barack Obama and said she had a half a mind to resign. Give me my PhD.

  • Anonymous

    The correct talking point is “palling around.” Got it? If you’re going to regurgitate what you hear at your right wing media circle jerks, you should at least use the proper phrase.

  • NDanielson

     Oh, and is it “tomato” with you, or “tomato”?

    Sitting in a pew and getting baptized is palling around? Buying property from a shady convicted felon is palling around? Marrying a America loating wife is palling around??? LOL. Okay. Do you “Got it”?
    Your left wing media pretty much hides such Americans as Tony Rezco, Bill Ayers, Frank Marshall (for that
    matter, LOL), the great American Jeremiah Wright, and an un-proud wife, huh? Got it? But that is regurgitating.

  • Anonymous

    ‘Rick Santorum thinks conception begins at erection!’

    …Harsh!

    Bill Maher flayed them alive with those one liners…

  • Anonymous

    I come here to engage with my peers. You’re a laughable caricature of an easily manipulated, low information, yahoo tea bagger. You’re not my peer. Scram.

  • Anonymous

    and mindless 14 yo across the land are laughing

  • Anonymous

     Hey!  Welcome back!  So, mommy let you have your computer back, huh?

    FWIW, Maher is especially tough on Christianity … but let us (not you, ND, this is for rational adults) keep in mind that he is a fallen Catholic whose mother was Jewish, so his religious criticism is naturally focused on that orthodoxy with which he is most familiar.

    Yes, he is pretty brave and cutting edge. He’s an equal-opportunity satirist, with plenty of evidence of criticizing Islam, Mormonism, and a whole bunch of other sacred cows. Provokes debate and holds people accountable for their claims. And that pisses off some folks.

    Even some rational people.

  • Anonymous

     … If your shoe was off its meds.

  • Anonymous

    You poor schmuck.  C’mon, either you’re dense or twelve years old.  Maher’s audience is in on the joke … do you not understand self-deprecating irony and humor?

    Sheese. And, BTW, the more vulgar you get, the funnier it is. People here are not even a little bit upset with your comments; they’re laughing their asses off at you.

  • Anonymous

    What’s Pig Maher doing out of his sty?

  • Anonymous

    Santorum=Frank Burns from M*A*S*H*

  • Anonymous

    I hope they brought out a high chair for 4’9″ Little Willie.

  • Anonymous

    Everything has to do with sex? I guess Bill Maher is a lot like Rick Santorum and most of the republicans.

  • Anonymous

    Sewer-rat tea baggers wont let their daughter have an abortion not even when their daughters are raped.

  • Anonymous

    silly repubs

  • Anonymous

    Question for you @exGOPman:disqus  how long have you been a Ex-GOP? I ask because I also used to be GOP, or better said, was raised in a GOP household and took on the same beliefs for early part of my life. , BUT once I got out and saw the world, learned history and philosophy, and learned about politics, I realized how backwards my beliefs were, and started adjusting, by the time I was done, I was on the total opposite side of the spectrum.  Just wondering what did it for you? if you dont mind sharing..

  • Anonymous

    really? do you want to compare corrupt politician lists? Mines much bigger than yours! 

  • Anonymous

    if you would watch his show before talking out of your a$$, you would know that Bill consistently goes after Muslims, in fact, its actually a point of contention with some libs. So please. inform yourself, before you type, you will prevent yourself from looking like a douche! But, then again, douche seems to be the norm in the GOP, so that might be what your going for….

  • Anonymous

    don’t hate because his humor goes over your head. Dont be mad, its not intended for your type! Its intended for thoughtful, intelligent types, who can afford HBO and  who use their brains for more than just hating on people and starting wars. 

  • Anonymous

    problem is, for the most part, Christians just give way to much material for comedians. How can we not mock people who believe in fairy tales, zombies and magical snakes and dragons!  People who on Sunday say they love Jesus, and on Monday spit on a homeless man! Also, its just much funner to mock you guys because you get so worked up for nothing. But that’s probably because your faith is week, because anyone who truly believes, would not be bothered by what some HBO comedian says. 

  • Anonymous

    dear @Teabaggeramerican, please keep your sick demented fantasies to yourself! Thanks.I would bet your one of the ones that believed the Onion - Abortion-Plex story! !! DOH!

  • Anonymous

     their daughters arent raped b/c they aren’t allowed to attend OWS events

  • Anonymous

    what I love the most about Maher, is how he upsets the wingnuts so. For shits and giggles, I go to the blaze and read the Maher related posts It is like watching cats chase a laser pointer. 
    Classic

  • Anonymous

    Similar trajectory. Raised amongst many generations of Republicans. But over the years I found that 1.) the party was getting more religious and, frankly, dumb, and 2.) I was starting to see the world outside our sheltered enclave and realized that many of the party’s principles didn’t take into account the world as it really is. I stuck with it, though, for years as a “RINO,” only finally shedding the party affiliation in the last year or two. I’m now an independent.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_45S32GWGDRUJIL6E2U4HOZW4BM Bob

    I think his lunatic behavior regarding Terry Schaivo had a bit to do with it as well.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_45S32GWGDRUJIL6E2U4HOZW4BM Bob

    hard to take a lecture on hating America seriously when it comes from a party that embraces secessionists like Perry and the Palins.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_45S32GWGDRUJIL6E2U4HOZW4BM Bob

    Bob Ney Jerry Lewis, Duke Cunningham, David Vitter, Dick Morris, Scooter Libby, Steven Griles, David Safavian, Curt Weldon, Ted Stevens, Ted Haggard, Marc Foley, Tom DeLay, John Ensign, Newt, Oliver North, Jim Kolbe, Elliott Abrams, Bernie Kerik, Ralph Reed, Jack Abramoff and on and on.

  • Anonymous

    You’re right. Maher is a bigot across the board.

  • WiddleBabyDanielson

     If your shoe was a crying republican victim.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DSC43Z6KBXGXRGLQ3NIKSZMUDI schwetty balls

    Too bad Maher’s mom didn’t believe in abortion

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