Shep: ‘Don’t Say Nobody Warned You When Some TSA Agent Starts Touching Your Pie’

video

by Mark Joyella | 4:07 pm, November 23rd, 2010

» 24 comments

When it comes to the TSA and its “enhanced” security protocols, well Fox’s Shepard Smith is going into Katrina mode–well, sort of.

Put it this way: he’s on fire.

You may already have seen Shep warn that “if you touch my junk, I’m going to file a lawsuit against you,” and he took his displeasure over “junk touching” pat downs directly to TSA Chief John Pistole. But now we may have seen Shep at his sarcastic best. In a fifty second bit of brilliance on Studio B Tuesday, Smith took the TSA’s own holiday guidelines to task:

“Hey folks, if you’re planning to fly to grandma’s or whatever and you want to take some food along, keep this in mind: you can’t take cranberry sauce, no cologne, no creamy dips, no spreads, no cheeses, no peanut butter, no gift baskets with food items, no salsa, no jams, no salad dressings. No gravy, no jellies, no jams, no lotions, no maple syrups, no oil, no vinegar, no salad dressing, no salsa, no sauces, no soups, no wine, no liquor, no beer. And of course, no snow globes. Death by snow globe can be a horrible thing.

If only it was a bit shorter, it ought to be a ringtone. It’s that good.

Smith adds:

You can take pies and cakes through the security checkpoint, but be advised, they are subject to additional screening. So if your pies and cakes don’t like an additional pat down, don’t put them through screening.

Amen, brother. Amen. And travelers, don’t say nobody warned you when some TSA agent starts touching your pie.

Watch it–over and over again–here, from Fox:

fnc, fox news, Junk Touching, pies and cakes, Shep Smith, TSA

Dosser

Ha!
Jackyboy

Haha, good ol’ Shep.
stoogedudes

I thought he was talking about something else when he said “pie”. Good to know he was talking about actual pie. LOL!
Big_F-ing_Deal

It’s stupid to subject all pies to additional screening. An Apple pie is never going to hurt anyone. They are as American as …well….Apple Pie. Florida Key Lime pies and Boston Cream pies are also harmless.

It’s those fucking Date pies and Lamb pies that we have to watch out for. You know, those pies that come from “over there”.

What I’m suggesting is…..pie profiling.
juan

This is also funny:

Limbaugh said: “The imposter got into the equivalent of the White House in Afghanistan. Did they not ask this guy for some kind of identification? They clearly didn’t. They clearly didn’t ask this guy for his birth certificate. How in the world could they trust in a leader and even give money to somebody who has not been properly vetted? Well, because it happened here in the United States. We have an imposter for all intents and purposes serving in the White House.”
NORBIT

Does this mean no more “pie-in-the-sky” dreaming?
———————————————————————–

btw,

39% Approval for the Marxist-In-Chief!…LOWEST EVER for a President at this point!

Whooppeeee!! – One Term for the lying carnival barker & his dumb-as-a-rock supporters!
NORBIT

Obama & the progressive’s (liberals) idea of security:

Treat Grandma like a criminal, but give terrorists who slaughter innocent people American civil rights.

10,000 terrorist attacks committed by Radical Islamists over the past decade…but don’t you dare “profile”!
Big_F-ing_Deal

NORBIT said:
Treat Grandma like a criminal, but give terrorists who slaughter innocent people American civil rights.

10,000 terrorist attacks committed by Radical Islamists over the past decade…but don’t you dare “profile”!

Ummmm…you know your in a pie thread, right?
sarainitaly

let them eat pie!
Just4thefax

Fact: The Crusaders need to finish the job this round! Also TSA won’t find any pie’s in my junk!
valkyrie101

Of course most people just walk through the screening device and are not patted down…
LibertySister

Very simple…. do what Israel is doing and it seems to be working great! Profile Profile Profile…
LibertySister

opps sorry , Its about pie…
Oregon Conservative

Big_F-ing_Deal said:
It’s stupid to subject all pies to additional screening. An Apple pie is never going to hurt anyone. They are as American as …well….Apple Pie. Florida Key Lime pies and Boston Cream pies are also harmless. It’s those fucking Date pies and Lamb pies that we have to watch out for. You know, those pies that come from “over there”. What I’m suggesting is…..pie profiling.

I hate your politics, but this ranks up there as one of my favorite rebuttals ever!

Well done sir, well done.

Now, go change your avatar.
Big Eddie

They could do it like at Warsaw International Airport : Search you after you get off the plane .

And they do it here now .

http://noblasters.com/post/1650102322/my-tsa-encounter
juan

That BECK Boycott’s not working for the Lefties!

Also:

Another Left-Wing Media Apologist For George Soros and Attack Dog Against Glenn Beck
2010 November 23

http://www.newsrealblog.com/2010/11/23/another-left-wing-media-apologist-for-george-soros-and-attack-dog-against-glenn-beck/
TfT

ROTCH-GROPING IS FOR THE LITTLE PEOPLE: TSA: Some gov’t officials to skip airport security. “Cabinet secretaries, top congressional leaders and an exclusive group of senior U.S. officials are exempt from toughened new airport screening procedures when they fly commercially with government-approved federal security details.” Yeah, that’ll go over well.

via instapundit
valkyrie101

LibertySister said:
Very simple…. do what Israel is doing and it seems to be working great! Profile Profile Profile…

Israel is not a model for civil liberties so you may want to find another example.

And of course the TSA profiles. They profile and that is why they also make these highly publicized intrusions on everyone as cover. They have any Islamic person of color or dress under observation the moment they walk into the airport.
Oregon Conservative

valkyrie101 said:
They have any Islamic person of color or dress under observation the moment they walk into the airport.

This is crap Valk and you know it.
Cecelia

Shep is so talented!

He can make even Thanksgiving fare sound lascivious!
http://www.libertarianism.com/ Jack Burns

don’t say nobody warned you when some TSA agent starts touching your pie.

For some reason the movie American Pie comes to mind, and my thoughhts of the TSA pat downs….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UISKJwuoTTk&feature=related
valkyrie101

Oregon Conservative said:
This is crap Valk and you know it.

There are law enforcement people of all kinds walking around airports. Do you doubt that? And they will naturally profile, because even Jesse Jackson does that.
http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Mangan/100000213524770 David Mangan

Shep has arguably the highest approval ratings of any evening newsreader, because he manages to appear sincere. Diane Sawyer can occasionally pull that off, & even Brian Williams on a blue moon, but forget about Couric and the CNN replacements of Campbell Brown.
omega919

“Death by snowglobe can be a horrible thing.”

THAT is why I love Shepard Smith. A fine, FINE man.