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Shep Smith: ‘If You Touch My Junk, I’m Going To File A Lawsuit Against You’

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» 34 comments

Not thrilled with the idea of having a random TSA agent “touch your junk?” Well Fox’s Shepard Smith has your back.

In a typically lively debate over the case of traveler-turned-viral-video-creator John Tyner on Smith’s Studio B Monday, Smith grilled attorney Seth Berenzweig on the TSA rules requiring full inseam “pat-downs” in cases where travelers decline to submit to electronic body scans:

BERENZWEIG: The federal government is allowed to apply reasonable conditions that are related directly to public safety if someone wants to enter into a consensual business transaction and fly on an airplane. This individual and everybody else has an opportunity… He had a choice, he could go into a visual screening detector where no one was ever going to touch him. Again, I know it’s intrusive and it is an invasion.

SMITH: What if it was your wife, Seth? What if it were your thirteen year old daughter?

BERENZWEIG: First of all the TSA regulations provide that if someone’s under the age of 12, then they’re exempt from the regulations.

SMITH: That’s why I said 13.

You go, Shep! Looking grim and unimpressed over the general state of junk touching, Smith concludes you do NOT want to be the guy who tries to touch HIS junk:

“The fact of the matter is, since the attacks of 9/11, as we have been screened and re-screened, and lighters have been taken, and shoes have been taken off, belts have been put over there, hats have come off, they have found a grand total of zero parts or pieces of any bomb anywhere domestically in the United States since the attacks of 9/11. Who’s the fool who tries to get on a plane with a bomb? You touch my junk, and I’m going to file a lawsuit against you.”

Gotta watch it–complete with Shep’s fist-pound on the anchor desk:

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  • Bagrman

    If the premise that they claim of the X-mas panty bomber is the reason for all of the this, then lets see the security video from the airport where he boarded the plane and lets see how he got thgough security there. Till then I believe the Haskell’s and they story of him being walked around security. And what is the shit about Chertoff being invested with the company that makes these intrusive things.

    http://www.lewrockwell.com/pr/haskell-truth-flight253.html

    Hows that police state starting to taste?

  • TeaPartyPatriot

    Actually, the ONLY reason I fly is to get those happy-endings pat-downs. (I can’t afford those expense “masseuses” like Crazed S8X Poodle Gore can.) I hope the TSA starts doing them after you get off the plane in addition to before you board. Now that would make for a very relaxing trip.

    On a less serious note: Let’s hope that this BIG GOVERNMENT harassment of THE PEOPLE becomes part of the anger against BIG GOVERNMENT in November 2012, when America has a chance to Take Back both the Senate and the White House, in addition to the House.

  • Harry Flashman

    My problem with this whole thing is that pesky Fourth Amendment.

    The question arises, does the federal government have the right to ignore YOUR right to be free from illegal search and seizure because they make a rule saying they do? Does an administrative rule over ride the Fourth Amendment?

    I don’t think it does.

    Probable cause is genearlly required before that intrusive a search can be made by any government entity. Using the fed’s logic, we’re all suspects.

    I can’t get my head wrapped around that, even in the name of safety.

  • berserk

    i hope this story reaches critical mass in time for the busy thanksgiving traveling season. if enough people have the guts of john tyner and refuse to have their privacy rights trampled further, maybe our BIG GOVERNMENT will wise up. shep is right… not one terrorist has been caught for all the hundreds of billions of our tax dollars that our BIG GOVERNMENT has spent and for all the massive inconvenience that the public has endured on a farce called airport security theater. enough already!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Martin/43100610 Jon Martin

    If you ask me, this is also why a libertarian government wouldn’t work either. Eventually business and corporations would just say ” not safe enough? Don’t use our product/service.” Or there would be big corporations like the cable companies and phone companies that would make it so you had no choice but them… And because those corporations can do whatever they want, they kill all their competition so there is only one choice.

    Why is our government insane? Even if a terrorist attack does occur… It’s not the end of the world, we aren’t going to war.. It will be one small incident. The point of terrorism is to mess up a countries social and economic structure by causing fear, making the government take drastic measures. This is what it leads to.

    Bush enabled all these crazy restrictions for flying and now the Obama administration, afraid of being attacked by Republicans for being “weak on terror” they have continued the same stupid ideas bush started. I can’t tell which is worse, the freedom-surrendering sexual molestation by the TSA or Obama thinking this is Ok. If he thinks is is OK, that is a bad sign.

  • The_Reasonable_Lib

    How about we only search muslims so that we can give THEM an impetus to sue the government and the airline as well for discriminatory practices? =/

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Martin/43100610 Jon Martin

    We are now at the mercy of the terrorists because if there is another attack we go on lockdown again. they really did win huh? Or maybe the US is just scared too easily. We shouldn’t have gone to war because of one attack, we did all the things they wanted us to, we freaked out… Now look how f***ed our country has been since 9/11. If another attack happens, we can’t let everything go out of control again.

  • notsofast

    The_Reasonable_Lib said:
    How about we only search muslims so that we can give THEM an impetus to sue the government and the airline as well for discriminatory practices? =/

    Great idea!

  • btimsah

    BERENZWEIG: The federal government is allowed to apply reasonable conditions that are related directly to public safety if someone wants to enter into a consensual business transaction and fly on an airplane.

    Nobody is consenting to it you Nazi. The Government is forcing it.

  • http://twitter.com/SailRabbits Magister

    I really wish someone would get that $10k catch-22 clarified or confirmed. As I’ve said a couple of times, I don’t believe it and I’m sure a judge would laugh it out of court, but I’d really like to hear someone ask point blank and then badger the spokesperson until the question is answered.

    Otherwise, I find it kind of interesting that one former President can quote another former President saying “testicles”, but thanks to this guy, we hearing “junk”.

    @TeaPartyPatriot: If not before, I suspect the procedure will be modified after the flying season.

  • AngelPeters

    This new TSA proceedure is absolutely stupid and the country knows it.

  • ChrisNH

    For sure, Big Sis is just salivating over all this. For a whole host of reasons.

  • ChrisNH

    Weren’t all terrorists going to roll over and let us scratch their bellies once Obama came along? Guess not.

  • Jelperman

    This is why I don’t fly.

    Fuck the TSA!

  • Labaliente Foosallent

    No one at TSA thinks any of this keeps any one safe.

    They do it because they love torturing and humiliating people and because, for them, grabbing at stranger’s genitals is the closest any will come to having sex.

    All TSA agents are subhuman freaks who live in a state of deranged dysohoria and quaking self-hatred. Yes, they know they are witless, contemptible, unemployable scum. Yes, they will never be able to enjoy the homosexual sex they crave.

    So they take it out on the world, lunging at the testicles the TSA men long to caress and stroking the quivering breasts the TSA bull dykes hunger to suckle.

    The TSA is a criminally insane cult of self-hating homosexual psychopaths bent on savaging the lives of everyone in America who would not regard them as human beings or have sex with them.

    If they touch any adult, they do it to inflict maximal humiliation and penetration of personal space. They get off on repulsing you while you are helpless. They love groping mens’ wives while the men smolder in helpless rage. In this scenario, they are raping BOTH man and wife. Yeah, right, does anyone think that any freaks capable of this kind of horror should be at large – much less collecting a wage paid for by the tax payers they victimize?

    If they touch any child, it is a pederast thrill.

    If they touch any elderly or disabled person, it is to terrorize and humiliate the helpless, yes, real torture inflicted as revenge against a society that regards them rightfully as witless, slack-jawed freaks worthy only of cleaning toilets with their tongues

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Martin/43100610 Jon Martin

    Labaliente Foosallent said:
    No one at TSA thinks any of this keeps any one safe.

    They do it because they love torturing and humiliating people and because, for them, grabbing at stranger’s genitals is the closest any will come to having sex.

    All TSA agents are subhuman freaks who live in a state of deranged dysohoria and quaking self-hatred. Yes, they know they are witless, contemptible, unemployable scum. Yes, they will never be able to enjoy the homosexual sex they crave.

    So they take it out on the world, lunging at the testicles the TSA men long to caress and stroking the quivering breasts the TSA bull dykes hunger to suckle.

    The TSA is a criminally insane cult of self-hating homosexual psychopaths bent on savaging the lives of everyone in America who would not regard them as human beings or have sex with them.

    If they touch any adult, they do it to inflict maximal humiliation and penetration of personal space. They get off on repulsing you while you are helpless. They love groping mens’ wives while the men smolder in helpless rage. In this scenario, they are raping BOTH man and wife. Yeah, right, does anyone think that any freaks capable of this kind of horror should be at large – much less collecting a wage paid for by the tax payers they victimize?

    If they touch any child, it is a pederast thrill.

    If they touch any elderly or disabled person, it is to terrorize and humiliate the helpless, yes, real torture inflicted as revenge against a society that regards them rightfully as witless, slack-jawed freaks worthy only of cleaning toilets with their tongues

    Irrelevant and false argument. Using hyperbole doesn’t change the fact the TSA is basically allowed to assault people, or people can’t fly on planes. Typing all that was a waste.

  • Labaliente Foosallent

    Blargh! And Foo!

  • Labaliente Foosallent

    It does reveal, however, their real motivations to terrorize and humiliate – the essence of RAPE.

    Let’s get to the truth of the matter.

    TSA is allowed to assault people and enjoy it.

    The sickness of the crime will bring in other proponents who may be inspired by the knowledge of the exact nature of the crime – and bring pitchforks with them.

  • The Lantern of Truth

    im ted . i keep my junk in my room .

  • hello11

    I love this , So does My boyfriend.he is almost 11 years older than me.i met him on a hot place.
    *Agelessbbw*.*com*. A’ ge is not a problem, It gives you a chance to meet your a’ ge g a’p matches. Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends
    adeqe

  • sarainitaly

    The Lantern of Truth said:
    im ted . i keep my junk in my room .

    HAHA!!

  • The Real Royal King

    A bit of reality here. I fly a great deal. A dozen domestic flights, a dozen or so international flights a year. Flying is not enjoyable. One of the reasons it is not enjoyable is the more and more intrusive TSA procedures. But, the fault lies primarily with the monstrous Department of Homeland Security. We can go back and say, with a great deal of validity, that the DHS role was to instill fear in Americans, for the most cynical reason of all: the re-election of W and Rove’s idea of a sustainable Republican majority for a generation. That this was the goal, there is no doubt. We have the Power Point presentation which formalized the idea. Then, an absurd Congress, Republican and Democrat, rushed to grow the monster. It is what it is. And, it is nurtured by each and every urine puddling panty waist who goes catatonic as the sight of a man in a turban. You got what you asked for. And, although the screening measures are largely symbolic, given the political realities of the time, we will reap what we have sown for many years.

    As for the individual TSA officers, they are no more responsible for the travesty and indignity than Nutso is. They are poorly educated, poorly trained and poorly paid. But they are simply doing what we, in our fear-borner stupidity commisioned them to do.

  • sarainitaly

    ‘Naked scanners’: Lobbyists join the war on terror

    The degradations of passing through full-body scanners that provide naked pictures of you to Transportation Security Administration agents may not mean that the terrorists have won — but they do mark victories for a few politically connected high-tech companies and their revolving-door lobbyists.

    Read more at the Washington Examiner: http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/politics/_Naked-scanners__-Lobbyists-join-the-war-on-terror-1540901-107548388.html#ixzz15PGEjBvD

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Merritt/100000196301299 John Merritt

    I still have grave reservations about the amount of ionizing radiation to the whole body. Small kids? People with weakened immune systems and low white blood counts? Hmmmmm. I am with Shep, unless that person on the other side of my goods is a wife or girlfriend eeeeeeeeeeeeeee…………….wrong answer.

  • http://www.libertarianism.com/ Jack Burns

    Jon Martin said:
    If you ask me, this is also why a libertarian government wouldn’t work either.

    Libertarian Government would work just fine. Nobody gets screened unless you are profiled as a terrorist. We would use highly paid professional screeners that know how to profile a suspect and Canadian trained sky marshals to handle hyjackers . Not a perfect solution, but better then feeling up your grandmother….

  • Contessa

    airport = nasty little police state

  • Labaliente Foosallent

    If you fly, you are consenting to rape and encouraging rapists to rape since TSA is a rape cult.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Royce-Earnest-Jr/515733979 Royce Earnest Jr

    This is but one reason I don’t and won’t be flying. Some of the others are the length of time actually spent in an airport waiting to get on the plane, charge for luggage, rude TSA workers, lost luggage, rude flight attendants, and the overall cost of flying. This is another reason we need more passenger trains in this country, give the airline industry a run for their money, and they will have to make improvements. Competition is grand!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jon-Martin/43100610 Jon Martin

    Jack Burns said:
    Libertarian Government would work just fine. Nobody gets screened unless you are profiled as a terrorist. We would use highly paid professional screeners that know how to profile a suspect and Canadian trained sky marshals to handle hyjackers . Not a perfect solution, but better then feeling up your grandmother….

    Sure, and then you can pay your way off the list. Nice.

  • Labaliente Foosallent

    Understand one thing: the psychopathic TSA agent strolling over to stroke your genitals is a rapist whose whole life is a nightmarescape of self-hatred and desperation. The TSA rapist’s only sense of self-worth comes from the sexual humiliation of his betters. Most likely, they are homosexual predators who cannot get satisfaction from same-sex partners because they are rejected by all human beings as disgusting subhumans. Most can only get sex by covering their genitals with peanut butter and climbing into a cage at the zoo.

  • Jelperman

    I don’t care if the rentacops working for the TSA all have soft hands and they all look like Jessica Biel or Scarlett Johansson, DO NOT GRAB MY COCK!

  • OMG this crap is hard to believe

    I’m really getting disgusted with all this BIG GOVERNMENT, invasion of privacy, naked scanners, etc., crap. The TSA folks are just doing their jobs. I have a medical device implanted in my body and have to be patted down each and every time I fly because I can’t enter the magnetic walk thru’s. I must tell you that ALL of the airports (i.e, Washington, Baltimore, New York, Chicago, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Phoenix, etc.) have been nothing but extremly professional and NO ONE has ever “touched my junk”. I am sure with all the special training and the legal ramifications involved, the TSA agents will approach this new processing with the same professionalism. I am quite looking forward to going thru these vice the pat down….the time spent for this will be miniscule compared to the pat down. Just remeber one thing, we all like to travel safely in these times….any procedure TSA embraces to make me safe is OK in my book and should be respected by all.

  • RobDavis

    The Real Royal King said:
    A bit of reality here. I fly a great deal. A dozen domestic flights, a dozen or so international flights a year. Flying is not enjoyable. One of the reasons it is not enjoyable is the more and more intrusive TSA procedures. But, the fault lies primarily with the monstrous Department of Homeland Security. We can go back and say, with a great deal of validity, that the DHS role was to instill fear in Americans, for the most cynical reason of all: the re-election of W and Rove’s idea of a sustainable Republican majority for a generation. That this was the goal, there is no doubt. We have the Power Point presentation which formalized the idea. Then, an absurd Congress, Republican and Democrat, rushed to grow the monster. It is what it is. And, it is nurtured by each and every urine puddling panty waist who goes catatonic as the sight of a man in a turban. You got what you asked for. And, although the screening measures are largely symbolic, given the political realities of the time, we will reap what we have sown for many years.

    As for the individual TSA officers, they are no more responsible for the travesty and indignity than Nutso is. They are poorly educated, poorly trained and poorly paid. But they are simply doing what we, in our fear-borner stupidity commisioned them to do.

    Great post!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VOEOXKUKCZ4BWPVVJAXP3EXS7M JOHNO

    Why is this any different than  having a physical exam? Both activities are an attempt to same lives. A lot of people will see your naked body if you go into a hospital, not just doctors, depending on the procedure. I will not fly on a plane where there is no screening. 

    These complaints remind me of the protestations of kids entering middle school who find out they will have to change in a locker room for PE. And, I was one of them. I was very self-conscious about it. It turned out to be much ado about nothing. I concluded that I had nothing to either brag about or be ashamed of. Outside of an occasional glance from the curious, no one gave a damn. 

    I can easily imagine a TSA employee arriving home to find a relativve in an undressed state and reacting with something like “Oh no, not another naked body”!!

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