SNL’s ‘Meet the Press’ Cold Open Obsesses Over Jeff Bezos’ Penis: ‘Small Potatoes’


Saturday Night Live opened up its latest show with a cold open skewering the media’s obsession with the Jeff Bezos/National Enquirer blackmail story.

The sketch also spent a whole lot of time talking about Bezos’ penis.

The opener started with a Meet the Press panel featuring Peggy Noonan (as played by Cecily Strong), Donna Brazile (Leslie Jones) and Eugene Robinson (Keenan Thompson).

“You’re all highly-respected journalists, so when all is said and done, what do you think Jeff Bezos’ penis is gonna look like?” SNL’s Chuck Todd (Kyle Mooney) asked.  “I know normally high-minded journalists wouldn’t talk about something like this, but it does involve the richest man in America and the president of the United States.”

“As a journalist, this is not something I ever thought I’d have to cover, but as a human, I’m curious,” Thompson’s  Robinson said. “I’ll make them into hilarious memes and send them to all of my friends.”

The panel then compared Bezos’ penis to potatoes and various size Amazon products.

“When I hear ‘billionaire’s penis,’ I immediately think ‘small potatoes,’ you know. Like they say, if it’s small and looks funny, you better have the money, honey,” SNL’s Noonan said at one point.

SNL’s Todd then said the mainstream media has the responsibility to handle the story in a “mature” fashion, before holding up a New York Post headline reading: “Bezos Exposes Pecker.”

The panel then suggested other headlines related to penises.

Finally, after a brief appearance by Wilbur Ross (Kate McKinnon), acting Attorney General Matt Whitaker (Aidy Bryant) showed up to talk about his performance at this week’s hearing.

“Just to be clear, President Trump never directed you to interfere in the Mueller investigation?” SNL’s Todd asked.

“Well, you know what, Chuck? I’m going to say something I left out of my testimony. This is going to blow everything out of the water here. Mr. Trump called me and whispered to me…” Whitaker began before Todd interrupted to announce Bezos’ pics had come in at that very moment.

Watch above, via NBC


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