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Maine Governor: Don’t Let Drug-Dealers Named ‘Shifty’ Impregnate Your White Daughters

Listen, we get it, that’s a loaded headline. For those of you who clicked through to the article asking yourselves what the hell we were referencing, it’s sort of a bizarre see-it-to-believe-it type of situation. Let’s start with the who: Republican Maine Governor Paul LePage spoke at a town hall in Bridgton, Maine on Wednesday and addressed a crowd about the heroic epidemic endangering Maine.

In the 25-second clip, you can see Governor LePage — who has been in office since 2011 — detail to the crowd the ways in which out-of-state drug dealers visit the Pine Tree State to do their dirty dealing of the drugs, and then to add insult in injury, they impregnate white girls (yes, white girls specifically).

Governor LePage says in the video (the ridiculous names are emphasized by me):

“The traffickers — these aren’t people that take drugs. These are guys with that are named D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty, these types of guys, that come from Connecticut and New York. They come up here, they sell their heroin, they go back home. Incidentally, half the time they impregnate a young, white girl before they leave, which is a real sad thing because then we have another issue we that we’ve go to deal with down the road.”

Most of the way through the Governor’s statement (somewhere around the whole “impregnate a young, white girl” part) an audible gasp can be heard from a woman in the audience. Way to go Governor, you connected with your audience: the first goal of successful oratory.

Not that I know too many drug dealers here in New York, but if I did, I could be reasonably sure that none of them would willingly go to Maine of all places to A) sell their drug products and B) impregnate white women and leave in time to miss rush hour on the FDR. However, I’m not the Governor of Maine sitting on four solid years of executive experience — Governor LePage may know a bit more about this world than I do. Either way, thankfully we all have this clip to watch to warn us about the dangers of those no-good-cats D-Money, Smoothie, and Shifty.

Stay alert out there, friends.

[image via screengrab]

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