Roy Moore Opens Press Conference With Story About Hemorrhoids


Roy Moore just conducted a bizarre press conference in which he was introduced as “the candidate we dream of.”

The Alabama Senate candidate, who has been repeatedly accused of sexually assaulting minors, used the opportunity to tout his defiance to both major political parties.

He also began his remarks by talking about hemorrhoids.

To the uninitiated, hemorrhoids are engorged blood vessels that hang out in your butt and make life a living hell. Here is what Moore had to say about them, live on national television.

The anecdote started with Moore describing his early days on the bench, with a seasoned veteran telling him he needed to invest in some eyeglasses, so as to appear smart, and needed to have gray or thinning air, to show experience.

The third thing he needed? Hemorrhoids.

“You have to have one other thing,” Moore quoted the judge. “You have to have hemorrhoids.”

“It gives you a concerned look.”

The audience burst into laughter, though folks on Twitter were a bit more cautious, with many simply confused as to why Moore would tell such a strange story after being accused of such serious acts.

It must be noted, this was a press conference in the loosest sense of the word. Moore managed to dodge all questions about the allegations.

[image via screenshot]

Follow Lawrence Bonk (@sidescrollers) on Twitter

Have a tip we should know?

Filed Under: