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Candy Cain: Herman Cain’s Christmas Video Will Give You A Toothache

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by Tommy Christopher | 1:27 pm, December 19th, 2011

» 24 comments

Pop quiz, hotshot: Your meteoric rise to the top of the Republican nomination for president is derailed by multiple allegations of sexual misconduct, an economic plan from a decade-old video game, and a string of foreign policy gaffes that could wrap around Ubeki-beki-stan-stan twice. What do you do? What do you do?

If you’re Herman Cain, naturally, you put out a Christmas video message so over the top, you need a Newt Gingrich space mirror to see it.

The video, entitled It’s Christmas In America, features a kitchen sink approach to manipulation, with Cain and wife Gloria doing a synchronized, soft-focus Bible reading with a family of sweater catalog models, intercut with iconic Christmas/Fourth of July imagery, and segueing into a music video of “It’s Christmas In America” sung by a woman who, apparently, couldn’t find a babysitter.

It’s all very treacly and sweet, and sends the unmistakable message that Herman and Gloria Cain are going to be just fine, thank you. They really lost me, though, when two of the Three Wise Men in the video’s nativity scene sparked up a couple of Pall Malls. (Just kidding)

Since suspending his campaign earlier this month, Herman Cain has faded from the national media spotlight, but this video serves as a reminder that, for a brief, beautiful couple of weeks, Herman Cain was the early media Christmas gift that kept on giving.

Here’s It’s Christmas In America, from Friends of Herman Cain:

(h/t WWR)

Christmas, Christmas In America, Herman Cain, It's Christmas In America

Anonymous

Great video. It makes me forget that Herman Cain is the putang guy.
WiddleBabyDanielson

Oh brother.
Anonymous

Great Christmas video thanks for sharing. BTW your extreme bias is showing.
Anonymous

Wow, that is the corniest, worst Christmas video I’ve ever seen, they couldn’t decide who was more important, santa or jesus, and the Cain’s hand holding gave me the creeps.
Anonymous

it’s interesting and weird that herman and gloria are the only black people in the whole thing.
Anonymous

Tommy the loser is stalking Herman Cain again. Aren’t there laws against such unhealthy obsessions? Did Mediaite check your background for open warrants before hiring you? I guess they didn’t. Surely, they would’ve found out that your alma mater of “National Equirer University” wasn’t real if they had.
Anonymous

“Mr. Cain, you are the baby daddy.” I can see it on Maury now. This is ridiculous!!! He is done just like tiger woods was done, at least for the next year, but for his cheating behind. The only thing that is suspended is his cheating. If he is SO SERIOUS why doesn’t he run for senate. Anyway I just read an article about Herman’s wife I think his supporters should read and figure out why these famous women stay with their cheating husbands, and if you ask me it’s a recipe for how to cheat on your wife and get away with it

http://bit.ly/cheatincain
Mo Fokker

True to fundie form, Mrs. Cain gave a pass to her husband on his extramarital affair, believing women should SUBMIT to their husband’s desires to cheat on their wives.
Anonymous

Jesus, Santa and hand holding. Do you kick puppies too?
Anonymous

And at the end of the video, Herman turned to Gloria and said:

“Hello there, miss. Nice to meet you. My name is Herman.”

“Herman, I’m your WIFE!”

“Oh! I thought I’d seen you a couple times before.”
Anonymous

was is they no black people in this video , i mean come on , theirs a Spanish guy that if you blink you would miss him , but no people, wow, i am not racist i am black and also have black friends , but again come on,
Charles Ulysses Feney

Q: What put an end to the Herman Cain presidential bid?

A: Ho Ho Hos!
http://twitter.com/Bennybombom Ben

Dude…Herman Cain released a cheesy Christmas video,and mediaite shouldn’t talk about it?

Are you dumb?

Don’t answer that.
Anonymous

Couldn’t Herman rent any black people to make it look like the teabaggers are more inclusive? Maybe he spent his whole token minority budget on the Hispanic guy.
Anonymous

Is Herman Cain a member of the media? Is this about the media? Is Herman Cain even running for president anymore. No. Is Loser Tommy writing about this because of it’s significance? No. He has a Herman Cain fetish and he … must … feed … the … desire.

And, no. I’m quite a bit smarter than the average bear, has-ben.
Anonymous

This is what teabaggers call a White Christmas.
Anonymous

You should keep Cain and fetish out of the same sentance, just saying.
Anonymous

Only a wingnut can do this with a straight face! Guffaw.
http://twitter.com/Bennybombom Ben

“And, no. I’m quite a bit smarter than the average bear, has-ben.”
Well…from your answer and your “clever” little “has-ben” thing there,I’m gonna have to disagree.This is media related,getbusysukin,and I dunno how you don’ see that,but my theory is..
I think you’re dumb.

But hey….Merry Christmas.
Anonymous

I say if it weren’t for the video if Herm dancing this video would be a shock!! CAIN DANCE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs7fJ6jAOVU&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Anonymous

I say if it weren’t for the video if Herm dancing this video would be a shock!! CAIN DANCE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs7fJ6jAOVU&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Anonymous

“I’m gonna have to disagree.”

That and $5.75 will get you an overpriced cup of latte at Starbucks. It’s actually $4.75, but they’d charge for being so full of FAIL.

I hope your Christmas is joyous and VD-free.
Anonymous

The Cain Train rides on!
Anonymous

Poor little White man trapped in a Black man’s skin. tsk! tsk! tsk!