Exclusive: First Look At Upcoming Onion News Network

exclusive

by Jon Bershad | 5:16 pm, December 9th, 2010

» 8 comments

Look, I love all things The Onion. You probably could have guessed that from my post entitled “The Onion Releases First Promo For Their New Series And It Looks All Sorts Of Awesome.” The folks over at IFC apparently noticed that as well and, sensing that this was a subject where I have next to zero journalistic integrity and that my unabashed fanboyism was thus perfectly suited to be used for their own dark purposes, they’ve rewarded me (and by extension, you) with an exclusive first look at the upcoming Onion News Network!

To be honest, there isn’t that much here that we don’t know. The image appears to be a moment from FactZone, one of the shows within a show that is hosted by Brooke Alvarez whom the press release describes as “able to seamlessly segue from a grisly death to a cute animal story in the blink of a stunningly beautiful eye.” Alvarez is actually a fictional character played by actress Suzanne Sena but, in typical Onion style, she’s already got a full backstory that apparently includes longstanding feuds with Wolf Blitzer and Yo Yo Ma.

However, the one new thing we get is a look at one of the upcoming stories the program will be covering thanks to the headline in the corner. Apparently, in the world of the ONN, Kim Jong Il has shut down his nuclear program in exchange for a role in the new Batman movie. This comes complete with a photoshop of the Dear Leader looking very heroic in the Dark Knight’s armor.

Anyway, to complete my role as a willing blogger/pawn, I will remind you all that the new series premieres on January 21, at 10pm on IFC.

God, it’s a good thing I really do love The Onion. I’ll only have to take a brief shower now.

Karolina Wotjasik/IFC

onion news network, Suzanne Sena, The Onion, Wolf Blitzer, Yo Yo Ma

Just4thefax

Fact: News rating is still out on this one?
Harry Flashman

They’ll need sme eveen more ridiculously funny story lines to compete with the other parody news network, MSNBC.

Wait. What?

MSNBC isn’t a parody of the news with D list actors playing news anchors? And that isn’t satire? Come on. Really? Oh. Whew. You really had me there for a second. There is NO WAY anyone could spout the gibberish the people at MSNBC spout and be serious.

Is there?
ChiliPeppersFan

it’s funny you mention msnbc when the news(?) network that actually used a story from The Onion was…wait for it…foxpac.
ifc is a great network…good movies and i love david cross’s show.
why they killed off arrested development, i’ll never understand.
Just4thefax

ChiliPeppersFan said:
it’s funny you mention msnbc when the news(?) network that actually used a story from The Onion was…wait for it…foxpac.ifc is a great network…good movies and i love david cross’s show.why they killed off arrested development, i’ll never understand.

Fact: Arrested Development was a good show. Blue man crew is looking for new employees at this moment.
ChiliPeppersFan

Just4thefax said:
Fact: Arrested Development was a good show. Blue man crew is looking for new employees at this moment.

i’m waiting with baited breath for the movie.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0901469/
ChiliPeppersFan

ChiliPeppersFan said:
i’m waiting with baited breath for the movie.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0901469/

In the last scene of the TV series, executive producer and narrator Ron Howard is pitched with an idea for a show about the Bluth family. His reply: “I don’t see it as a series. Maybe a movie.”
Nacho

Harry Flashman said:
They’ll need sme eveen more ridiculously funny story lines to compete with the other parody news network, MSNBC.

Wait. What?

MSNBC isn’t a parody of the news with D list actors playing news anchors? And that isn’t satire? Come on. Really? Oh. Whew. You really had me there for a second. There is NO WAY anyone could spout the gibberish the people at MSNBC spout and be serious.

Is there?

I can only imagine this was a preemptive strike on the obvious soon to come more deserving comparison of The Onion and Fox News.
ChiliPeppersFan

Nacho said:
I can only imagine this was a preemptive strike on the obvious soon to come more deserving comparison of The Onion and Fox News.

ChiliPeppersFan said:
it’s funny you mention msnbc when the news(?) network that actually used a story from The Onion was…wait for it…foxpac.