»» Columnists

Keith Olbermann Reports On Alien Life Discovery, Totally Pwns NASA in Star Trek Knowledge

video

by Tommy Christopher | 6:57 am, December 3rd, 2010

» 15 comments

Thursday night’s Countdown presents a near-existential dilemma for conservatives, many of whom have a Comic Book Guy-esque devotion to all things Star Trek. Host and liberal bogeyman Keith Olbermann not only displayed an impressive grasp of the Trek canon, he did so at the expense of a NASA scientist, a feat which surely must transcend ideological rancor.

The subject was NASA’s much-ballyhooed discovery of a new form of life, and while Olbermann may have out-geeked the space agency’s best and brightest, he and guest Derrick Pitts seem to have missed a glaring facet of this story.

NASA has discovered a bacterium that can substitute phosphorus, one of six basic building blocks of life, with arsenic, which led one scientist to compare the discovery to the Horta, a silicon-based life form from an old Star Trek episode. Unfortunately, the would-be Trek-spert® didn’t exactly have a Vulcan Death Grip on Federation lore, as she misidentified the episode title, calling it “Dark Evil.”

Luckily, Olbermann was there to swoop in and correct her:

The episode was, indeed, “The Devil in the Dark,” but while Olbermann’s contention that the Horta was “Phaser resistant” isn’t an out-and-out falsehood, it is somewhat misleading, giving the impression that the weapons were ineffective against the creature. As a cursory review of Mr. Spock’s mindmeld with the distressed life-form attests, this is simply not true:

Of course, lost amid the breathless excitement of discovery, and Pitts’ happy-talk of rewriting textbooks and finding alien life, is the one fact that doesn’t seem to be disturbing anyone but me: NASA has engineered a bacterium made of poison!

Am I the only one who thinks this could lead to a cataclysm that would make The Walking Dead look like a psoriasis pandemic? And why arsenic? Couldn’t they have first tried to replace the phosphorus with bacon, or that delicious cheese they put in the middle of Combos? Finally, if these NASA eggheads had paid even the slightest bit of attention to Star Trek, they would have known that this is a heinous violation of the spirit of the Prime Directive, if not the letter.

I never thought I’d say this, but I think I’m with Cheney on this one. There’ll be a biohazard suit in my trunk first thing tomorrow morning.

Combos, Comic Book Guy, Countdown, Derrick Pitts, Devil in the Dark, Horta, keith olbermann, NASA, Star Trek, The Walking Dead

Just4thefax

Fact: What kind of liberal code is PWNS?
Just4thefax

Fact: Tommy, Your ignorance to science is really letting your hinny shine isn’t it!
Big Eddie

T.C. – At the conventions , do you usually dress up as the guy with the red shirt ?

http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Redshirt
murf

I always thought Joy Behar had a different component—-Arsenic.
ChiliPeppersFan

the HOrta was “Phaser resistant” ?
isn’t that mccain’s reason for not letting gays in the military?
ChiliPeppersFan

i love ko’s shows and again he shows his wonderful grasp of pop culture.
also, props to his fans for raising so much money to help the people scheduled to die by arizona’s death panels.
turns out palin was right only the death panels came from the right when jan brewer decided to cut medicare payments to people looking for life saving transplant.
brewer seems to hate people on medicare as much as she hates hispanic people.
Cecelia

There’s certainly a fitting parallel to be made between bacteria nursing its sustenance from abject poison, and Tommy’s coverage of Keith Olbermann.
Harry Flashman

Star Trek is conservative territory? I. Did. Not. Know. That.

Thanks, Tommy.

By the way, I suspect Olbermann is an alien life-form himself, marooned here because his planet, the Planet Pointless, couldn’t stomach him any more. That theory explains him as well as any.
TristramShandy

Cecelia said:
There’s certainly a fitting parallel to be made between bacteria nursing its sustenance from abject poison, and Tommy’s coverage of Keith Olbermann.

Wow, pretty strong stuff… Until you read something like this “a near-existential dilemma for conservatives, many of whom have a Comic Book Guy-esque devotion to all things Star Trek.”
ChiliPeppersFan

ko is much better than bill-o mainly because of pop culture references…
i don’t think bill-o’s audience would get it because, like the simpsons pointed out, they are mainly 75 yrs or older.
also, although they are not racist, if you are a racist and looking for an opinion show, you probably would choose orielly.
TristramShandy

Greg Gutfeld said that the Chili Peppers will turn the Super Bowl into a Toilet Bowl and the same can be said for anything coming out of the mouth of ChiliPeppersFan, a walking toilet bowl.
Cecelia

TristramShandy said:
Wow, pretty strong stuff… Until you read something like this “a near-existential dilemma for conservatives, many of whom have a Comic Book Guy-esque devotion to all things Star Trek.”

Yeah.

Even when they’re “tongue in cheek” contrivances, they still relentlessly reeks with the message that Keith is direly necessary for showing up you rubes.

NASA scientists would term that symbiosis.
ChiliPeppersFan

and some people say that if you criticize them you really are a narrow minded asshole.
Dandee

Oh my goodness, we have finally found where this Oldman came from. Now we know his kin are still in CA. For ALL our sakes, keep them away from the rest of the USA. We really do not want anyone akin to this thing to cause there to be another one like him. PLEASE, NO MORE of his kin anywhere near the sane people of the USA.
dahni

I was a rocket scientist, but I have no recollection that my activities were based on my knowledge of Star Trek canons… what a silly article.