Anthony Bourdain Says Do Not Commit These Seven ‘Crimes Against Food’


anthony-bourdain2-1Anthony Bourdain is nothing if not opinionated and a lot of the time he’s right. He’s also a big user of the app. He recently published a list of seven “crimes against food” that you’d be wise not to commit. To be honest, some of these we didn’t realize were so terrible, but now that we know, we’ll never eat a chicken Caesar salad again. Or at least, we’ll think twice before doing so.

  1. The Brioche Hamburger Bun: “The hamburger bun is designed to ABSORB grease, not add greasiness to the experience. A proper hamburger bun should retain its structural integrity, playing its role as delivery vehicle for the meat patty until the last bite. The brioche bun, woefully unsuitable for this role, crumbles. God is against the brioche bun”
  2. The Third Slice Of Bread on a Club Sandwich: “You know who invented the middle slice? Enemies of freedom.”
  3. The Half-Assed Muffin on an Eggs Benedict: “The lazy cook toasts it under the broiler for a few seconds on one side, leaving the outer surface gummy and raw tasting and lacking the textural note your poached egg and Canadian bacon and sauce desperately need.”
  4. Slurry of Soy Sauce and Wasabi: “If you immediately plop a big wad of wasabi into your dish of soy sauce, mix it around with your chopsticks? Your sushi chef loses all respect for you.”
  5. Chicken Caesar: “Why? They’re going to cook the chicken to sh*t anyway.”
  6. Truffle Oil: “It’s not food. It’s not truffles. It’s lube .”
  7. Kobe Meatballs” (ditto “Kobe Burger”): “if you order either of these utterly fraudulent items at a restaurant or popular gathering spot for bro’s, all I can say is I’m truly sorry about your penis.”

The list, in its entirety can be found here. Or, you can download the app.


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