‘Daddy’s Home!’ Stephen Colbert Dusts Off Conservative Alter-Ego to Skewer Kimmel Ouster

Stephen Colbert dusted off his old right-wing alter-ego on Thursday to satirize the ouster of ABC late-night rival Jimmy Kimmel, appointing his conservative persona as an “ombudsman” who would keep The Late Show free of liberal bias.

After an opening monologue that skewered Kimmel’s suspension more pointedly as “blatant censorship” Colbert later revived a long-retired segment from his past show The Colbert Report to platform his mockery.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we live in unsettling times with rising autocracy targeting America’s most vulnerable talk show hosts,” the host quipped, before introducing his “identical cousin and the former host of The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert.”

The character, with his trademark bombast, declared, “Hello nation. Daddy’s home,” before launching into a tirade

“Ladies and gentlemen, my friends, nation, I return to you tonight to rescue you from this free speech crisis. I’m going to scream the answer loud and proud. No holds barred with tonight’s triumphant word,” he said. “Nation folk, America is facing perhaps its greatest crisis in 249 years. You see, people are saying things that hurt Donald Trump’s feelings.”

He continued: “Now, you might think the Constitution coddlers out there argue that Americans are born with certain God-given rights like life and liberty and, of course, the pursuit of happiness. But what about the pursuit of Donald Trump’s happiness?”

“And yes, it’s true the words Donald Trump aren’t in the Constitution,” he added. “But ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, I can say they are because I have freedom of speech.”

“You can have your rights just as long as you don’t use them,” he thundered, likening the First Amendment to a gym membership.

He concluded: “Give up, America. Just give up and stop saying anything that might upset the president. And if you think that’s a terrible idea, no you don’t.”

Watch above via CBS.