Jersey Shore, Ep. 5: Hippos, Grenade Launchers And Fred Flintstone

The Situation is at the center of it again – two “giant bodyguards” roll up on the house, and it’s that same grenade from two episodes ago! She’s back to embarrass herself further! Spoiler alert – she does.

But it’s not just her. Lt. The Situation surveys the enemy combatants: “There’s one huge grenade launcher, a grenade and then there’s one cute girl.” They deploy Snooki to kick the grenade and her larger but slightly less obnoxious friend out of the hour. “These hippos come into my house,” says Snooki, and she’s not having any of it. Until one calls her a “nasty-ass bitch.” Then it’s on, of course.

First, the grenade throws a drink at Snooki and says she will “rock your world.” Then her friend attacks. “She’s charging at me like a hippo!” says Snooki in a later interview. The cops come. “You’re a loser-ass fucking bitch,” says the grenade, probably her last lines of the series. Good way to go. There is also a drunk girl who gets arrested. It is the “cute girl” The Situation spoke of earlier. Now Pauly D calls her “white trash” and when the garbage truck comes by, Vinny yells “your ride’s here.” Snooki: “Don’t bring home any fucking elephants again.” And then MTV plays an elephant noise. And we’re onto the next scene.

There’s some family moments with Vinny and his mom, but let’s skip to the next evening when a “guy talking shit” confronts the crew about their lack of Seaside Heights-specific credentials. The Situation has gone back to the house early, because there are not nearly enough girls for his liking. He begins calling girls. Upon identifying himself, he literally gets hung up on. This is an ongoing problem – no, an ongoing situation – for The Situation.

Now it’s just Ronnie and Sweetheart walking home, and eventually, after the guy from the bar heckles long enough, it comes to blows. Ronnie absolutely destroys him, but afterward is upset about Sweetheart’s role in the matter. He pushes her away, and blames the fight on her. At the house, he has to cool down so he throws a bench. Sweetheart is “traumatized” by the incident. Suddenly making reference to her Fred Flintstone-sized big toe is no longer “the worst thing” Ronnie could do to her. They hug, and probably cry. Fighting and crying.

MTV – we need more Situation.

Here’s the Flintstones moment:

—–
» Follow Steve Krakauer on Twitter