Wild Video Shows Drunk Woman Riding Comically Fast Motorized Suitcase Being Chased by Bike Cop Through Orlando Airport

Screenshot via Orlando Police Department video.

Newly released police bodycam video shows a drunk woman riding a motorized suitcase through Orlando International Airport as she is chased by a cop on a bicycle, and that doesn’t even begin to capture the nuttiness of the story.

[As an Orlando native, your friendly neighborhood Mediaite contributing editor feels compelled to point out that the alleged suitcase racer lives in New Jersey, and is not actually a #FloridaWoman.]

Chelsea Alston, 32, was preparing to board a flight from Orlando to New York in April 2021 when the trouble started, according to a report by WKMG Orlando.

A Southwest Airlines gate agent reportedly refused to let Alston board the flight because she was too intoxicated, the arrest report noted, describing how Alston became “irate,” refused to listen, and called one female Southwest employee a “b*tch” and other employees the n-word.

Orlando Police Department officer Andrew Mamone’s body cam captured the hijinks that ensued thereafter.

The video shows Alston slowly rolling up to the counter, seated on a motorized suitcase that operated like a scooter. “I don’t want no beef,” she said, slurring her words and holding an empty beer glass in her hand. “I’m just trying to go home and enjoy myself.”

WKMG reported that Alston claimed to have had two drinks prior to the flight, but the arrest report described her as having glassy eyes, a noticeable odor of alcohol, and an inability to stand straight.

Mamone is initially very patient with Alston, telling her, sorry, but it was the airline’s policy, “you just can’t be that intoxicated when you’re flying a plane, OK?”

“I’m not that in-cox-icated,” Alston replied.

“It’s OK,” he attempted again. “You just need to go over to the terminal and sober up a little bit. Get another flight.”

She did not react well to that suggestion, taking off on her suitcase-scooter, waving a middle finger and cursing at Mamone.

“Chelsea!” he called after her as she rode away from the gate. “Just go to the terminal!”

She then sped up, surprising Mamone with the speed the suitcase contraption was able to manage.

“Oh man, that thing kinda goes fast,” Mamone said as Alston fled through the airport.

“We’re going to have a bike pursuing a suitcase in a minute,” he reported on his radio. “It’s gonna be crazy.” Other passengers at the airport can be heard laughing as Mamone rides his bike after Alston. ‘Totally normal, right?” he quipped.

Mamone caught up with the fugitive by the tram that takes passengers from security check-in to the terminals, and tried again to convince her to just calm down, leave the TSA secure area, sober up, and take a later flight.

Alston refused to go back past the security checkpoint and then spit at Mamone, with the saliva landing almost on Mamone’s boot, according to the arrest report.

That ended the goodwill and Mamone and another officer arrested her. After they had her in cuffs, she spit on Mamone again, this time hitting him in the eye.

As the officers escorted her to a patrol car outside the airport, she continued to struggle, kicking at the officers and attempting to slam her head against the wall. They blocked her from hitting her head and she started refusing to walk. The arrest report goes on to describe them sliding her along the tile floor in her socks (she had removed her shoes at some point) and then on her backside until they exited the airport.

The trouble didn’t end there. According to the arrest report, Alston “was kicking and screaming the entire way to jail.” While she was in the back of the police car, she urinated and defecated on the seat and ripped apart the vehicle’s fabric headliner. Damages were estimated at $1,200.

Orange County court records show Alston has been charged with battery on a law enforcement officer, criminal mischief with damage over $1,000, resisting officer with violence, resisting officer without violence, assault on a law enforcement officer, and disorderly conduct.

She was released from jail in early May on a $13,500 bond. She is represented by public defender Frederick Trabold and has pled not guilty to the charges. The next step in Alston’s case is a trial management conference scheduled for March 1.

Alston’s arrest was one of 5,981 complaints of unruly passengers that the Federal Aviation Administration investigated in 2021. WKMG noted dozens of such reports happening at the Orlando airport alone last year. Prior to the pandemic, in 2019, the FAA collected only 146 such complaints.

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