New Moon Mania! Twilight Saga Characters And Their Media Matches

Jasper Hale: Bob Woodruff

He’s handsome, charismatic, and frequently reports on the military. This makes Bob Woodruff a media dead ringer for Jasper Hale, the former Confederate soldier vamp whose secret powers involve making entire rooms like him with his mind. Woodruff has been making rooms like him for years — the living rooms of America, who watched him on ABC News and all rooted for his recovery after his accident in Iraq in 2005. His effect on armies of soldier is much nicer than Jasper’s though, since he does so much good for returning veterans through the Bob Woodruff Foundation.

Rosalie Hale: Erin Andrews

Rosalie Hale, the belle of the Forks ball, reminds us of gorgeous (and superbly talented) ESPN anchor Erin Andrews, who turns heads as she takes over sidelines. Andrews, like Rosalie, recently overcame the rapacious hunger of human males, and emerged even stronger.

Jacob Black: Keith Olbermann

OK — no one would confuse Taylor Lautner with Keith Olbermann — ever — but like Jacob Black’s testy werewolf the Coundown host certainly knows how to go for the jugular. He rages in those Special Comments, but always has a sweet smile for his protégé Rachel Maddow…just as Jacob has a soft spot for Bella. Unlike Lautner, we haven’t seen him without his shirt off, but that’s okay, we don’t need to. No, really.

Billy Black: Pat Buchanan

Just like Jacob Black’s werewolf identity crisis often puts him at odds with his non-were pop, so does Keith Olbermann struggle against the musings of “Uncle Pat” during his many MSNBC guest spots. Treat him with reverence, or smack down his, er, antiquated ideas? Such is the generational — and idealistic — struggle that both Olbermann and Jacob share with their fictive and metaphorical dads. Also, there’s the hair.

>>>NEXT: Which media figure gets to be the King of the Vampires?

This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.