While some journalists are held captive in war zones, others get slightly sweeter gigs. The New York Daily News’ Irving DeJohn got the sweetest gig of all (ok, second sweetest). He got to sit around and smoke a bunch of salvia all for the sake of the common journalistic good. Man, the straw that guy drew must have been about three feet long.
For those of you who haven’t been down to your local head shop lately, salvia divinorum is an herb that is smoked out of glass pipes (like marijuana!) and is supposed to cause hallucinations (like acid!) yet is somehow still legal (like alcohol!). Its growing popularity and public presence (thank you, Miley Cyrus) has caused an increased pressure to ban it, basically an inevitability that’s now on its way. That would make this a perfect time for everyone (with a press badge) to test it out! So DeJohn headed down to St. Marks, bought himself a bag, and learned the terrible, horrifying secret of salvia!!!
That secret being that it’s not really that exciting.
Again, for those of you who have no black light paintings on your walls (is that still a thing?), the salvia high lasts only a few minutes (about as long as an Adult Swim cartoon) and is less about crazy existential realizations and more about giggling like an idiot for a bit. Or, as DeJohn puts it:
“I never saw any goblins jeering at me, the sky didn’t fill with psychedelic colors and I never felt like I was hovering over the Empire State Building.
The jolt of jubilance quickly tapered off and within 10 minutes everything felt mundane again. Aside from a residual feeling of relaxation, everything felt normal.
Once the salvia smoke cleared, I was underwhelmed by the medium strength blend that had the potency of chugging a few beers with no undesirable hangover.”
So, in other words, BAN IT! BAN IT NOW!
Anyway, while there were no…um, goblins, DeJohn did claim that the herb at its peak made him feel “like Gene Kelly.” In the actual video of the experience (which the Daily News helpfully provides) he actually describes it at the time as feeling like Fred Astaire. Is anyone else super curious as to why he switched golden age dancers? No, just me? Ok then.
Check out the video (in which DeJohn was apparently too excited to toke up to make it back to the news room) below:
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