The Aughts (and The Aught-Not- Haves)

Journal Entry:  December 26^th, 2001.

Last night I had a dream that I was in my apartment and it was a Saturday night.  I was going to go out and somehow Ben Affleck wanted to take me to some party with some friends of his.  I knew he arrived outside, along with his buddies, and I was somehow futzing around my apartment, taking too long to leave.  Like leaving the T.V. on and turning on and off certain lights.  I didn’t want the place to look unoccupied for some reason.  As I was leaving I walked past some other buildings (it was my apartment, but the layout was like my friend Glenn’s) and there was some girl on the roof of another apartment.  She was very pretty.  She said if I wanted to come by and bring my friends-  she was having a party.  I wondered if she knew who I was hanging out with that evening.  So when I got to the street there were about 15-20 people there, hanging out, milling around, getting ready to go out or go to Christmas parties. Some guy, a nerdy guy, said that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were just here looking for me, but they left.  Then the guy said “well, you must have their cell phone, right?”  But I didn’t.  I was frustrated I had taken so long getting out of my apartment.

And that was my dream.  Is it something about waiting until I’m 30 before I hit success?  I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately.  I went to a Christmas party the other night and I saw a lot of actors and actresses I knew.  They were all beginning to do other things, as if they were resigned to the fact they’re not going to make it as actors.  One’s writing, one’s making scarves full time to support herself, one’s doing something uncreative…  And I thought “fuck, this is scary.”  Acting seems like the only profession where you become less valuable the older you get and the more experience you have.  It’s like there’s an expiration date on you and you’re constantly ticking towards it.  These girls were so beautiful and talented 10 years ago when we were all in college, and now they’re past their peak.  I mean, they’re not 20 anymore.  They’re not even 25.  They’re 30 or 31 and they haven’t hit it.  And then if they act for another ten years, what will they have if they hit 40 and they haven’t made it?  What skills will they have?    I still have a long way to go, but I’m much closer than I have ever been.  But not there yet.  I’m emailing this dream to the expert.  (*My Dad*)

Email From: “Sheldon Roth MD”

To: “Eli Roth”

Subject: Yes

Date: Wed, 26 Dec 2001 20:54:30 -0500

Eli,

The dream means that you are your own man!  You are not going to run with a crowd, following someone else’s success.  There are temptations around you, outside your doors, easy accesses and hanging onto other coat-tails.  You will make your own success, although you have access to others.  You did not want your apartment to look unoccupied….that represents you, your brain, your achievements, your creativity….it is occupied.  A woman awaits on a rooftop, but she appears to be too attracted to imagined attachments of yours to Damon and Affleck, therefore she is also ruled out.  You want a woman who is attracted for other reasons, and you do not wish to marry early ( like Glenn….)….you will attain your success in your time in your own way, on your own time schedule. You are not an actor, time works only in your favor, bringing experience, judgement, and freedom from the impulsive temptations of  youth. Indeed, you probably will be 30 when success reaches you this coming  April, the film will be shot, financed (maybe), edited and ready to roll.  I did not finish my psychiatric training until I was 30, so, it sounds good to me.

Keep dreaming,

Love, Dad

By March 2002 we had found two investment groups to potentially fund the rest of the money, each would put in $350,000.  One group was called Black Sky, the other was Deerpath, but it would take a lot of work to finally close the deal.  However, we had run over budget and had to find ways to cut costs and eliminate our salaries while at the same time convincing them this was a good investment.  The whole thing was being held together by duct tape and chewing gum. 

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