WATCH: Area Man’s Near-Execution By Co-Worker’s Followers Makes For Awkward Phone Conversations
We’ve all been there. A co-worker eggs on an enraged mob that’s hunting you down for execution, and then not only do you still have to work with the guy for several weeks, you also have to deal with the awkwardness when you talk to him on the phone after the gig ends. It’s uncomfortable.
That’s the situation that Indiana man Michael Pence described this week as he told a crowd in New Hampshire that he and his now-former co-worker “have spoken many times” since the day rioters stormed his workplace carrying flags bearing his former supervisor’s name, erected a gallows, and chanted “Hang Mike Pence!” while his then-supervisor derided him publicly.
Understandably perhaps, Mr. Pence says it’s going to be tough for his ex-boss, a Florida resort proprietor named Donald Trump, to convince him that whipping a mob intent on murdering him into a frenzy was appropriate — but there’s a chance?
“I don’t know if we’ll ever see eye to eye on that day,” Pence said, but he was quick to add that “I will always be proud of what we accomplished,” not including the murderous frenzy, presumably.
But maybe they will see eye-to-eye one day. Several similarly-situated individuals offered varying degrees of encouragement in Zoom interviews with Mediaite.
“It was a little different for us because ours happened a lot faster, but boy, was it awkward for a couple of seconds there,” said Marcus Junius Brutus, who joined several other co-workers in successfully carrying out the fate that Mr. Pence avoided.
Gaius Cassius Longinus, also reached by Zoom, agreed.
“It was the ‘Et Tu’ for me,” Cassius said. “Brutal own.”
And like Pence, the pair say their relationship with their former colleague, a then-emperor of Rome named Julius Caesar, has been uncomfortable since the incident.
“I can totes relate, we can barely look him in the eye either,” Brutus says. “But try going shopping in Elysium without running into him. So we keep it cahj.”
Mr. Caesar did not participate in the call.
“My guy was really great about the whole thing,” said Judas Iscariot, a treasurer who was involved in a similar dustup with his immediate supervisor, Jesus Christ.
“He was all about forgiveness almost right from the jump, but he was a little pressed about the kiss,” Iscariot said, adding that even so, it still comes up now and then.
“We were all out at Applebee’s last week, and he said, loud enough for everyone to hear, ‘What’s 18% on a $30 check?'”, Iscariot recalled. “Everybody stopped and stared, and Peter muttered ‘Shaaaaade!'”
Despite outward signs of forgiveness, Iscariot says he still feels like an outsider, “especially when him and the other disciples start talking about him being ‘reinstated’ soon.”
But things worked out considerably better for retired city administrator Lando Calrissian, who consigned his colleague Han Solo to almost certain death by delivering him into the hands of Sith enthusiast Darth Vader, who had him frozen in carbonite, then delivered to import/export businessman Jabba the Hutt by an independent consultant named Boba Fett. Mr. Solo was later rescued with Calrissian’s assistance, and shortly before Mr. Vader succumbed to a respiratory illness.
“There were a lot of moving parts,” Calrissian says now. “Han gets that.”
Watch Pence’s absurd comments above via C-Span.
This is an opinion piece. The views expressed in this article are those of just the author.