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The Fatal Flaw of Slate’s “Bidenisms”: Joe Biden

by Philip Bump | 3:16 pm, October 26th, 2009

» 1 comment

Before there was 30 Rock, there was Mean Girls, Tina Fey’s look at the vagaries of high school relationships – and Lindsey Lohan’s last competent performance. The above clip (produced by a much more energetic fan of the film than myself) isolates one of the most memorable lines: “Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It’s not going to happen!”

Since seeing this movie, I’ve applied that line to approximately 45 million things. John McCain, stop trying to make Palin happen. It’s not going to happen! Microsoft, stop trying to make Vista happen. NBC, Leno’s not going to happen. Etc. Try it for yourself. It’s fun.

Oh, incidentally – Slate, stop trying to make Bidenisms happen. It’s not going to happen.

“Bidenisms” is Slate’s weekly attempt to replace the font of wonder that was George Bush with “gaffes and head-slappers” from the Vice President. The problem, though, is that Joe Biden is no George Bush. Take this one, from this week:

“My mom is 92. She lives with me. But she’s an Irish Catholic, and she thought if she wasn’t a Democrat, she’d go to hell. I don’t believe that, but, you know, where she comes from, to be Irish was to be Catholic, was to be a Democrat. Scranton, Pennsylvania.”

Yeah, so? He’s quoting his mother. That’s a gaffe? A head-slapper?

Bush is gone, guys, and with him, Bushisms and the cottage industry that rose up around him. On the scale of gaffe-prone, Biden barely beats out George Allen – he’s not even anywhere near Dan Quayle, the all-time VP gaffe leader.

Stop trying to make Bidenisms happen, guys. I’m trying to be nice here. The Onion was not so kind:

Bidenisms, Joe Biden, Phil Bump, Slate

Empennage1

Thank you for this, Mr. Bump. I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to see this kind of carrying on. Joe Biden is one of the best things about the new administration. His talents and skills too numerous to mention. We are fortunate to have him, and I love Joe very much as a great statesman, but more because of his humanity.

Slate is no-longer accessed by anyone I know. That makes me happy. Pathetic blog has moved to tabloid nonsense.

Thank you again. I hope you have sent a nice, crisp copy of your post to the Slate morons. Unfortunately it will probably zoom right over their heads.

Take care.