Fleshlight Never Forgets: The Worst Corporate Attempts to Cash In on 9/11
Memorial Day and Veterans’ Day — two days that celebrate the tremendous sacrifice of our brave troops — have been turned into big Sales Events and excuses to get really drunk. So what’s to say that the darkest day in America’s recent history would be turned into an opportunity to make some quick, tasteless, conscience-free cash?
Most of the bad corporate tweets are harmlessly dumb: a photo of a flag, or multiple flags, or the Twin Towers, or something equally patriotic, followed by a #NeverForget:
Today, we salute all the heroes who continually remind us what it means to be brave. Never forget. pic.twitter.com/emlg3kJcLt
— OnStar (@OnStar) September 11, 2014
Today we pause and remember those we lost on this day 13 years ago. #NeverForget pic.twitter.com/xwORxCVRcJ
— The Vitamin Shoppe (@VitaminShoppe) September 11, 2014
Today we honor the heroes and remember those who lost their lives on 9/11/01. pic.twitter.com/WbR2Cp97uk
— Cinnabon (@Cinnabon) September 11, 2014
And then there are just these ridiculous ones:
We Will Never Forget! #911Anniversary #NeverForget911 #September11 #NeverForget pic.twitter.com/AWL6P7dVJ6
— Medieval Times (@MedievalTimes) September 11, 2014
TAKE A MOMENT OF SILENCE SEPTEMBER 11 8:40 A.M.
NEVER FORGET ! pic.twitter.com/RjSBq5BXLB
— Vanilla Ice (@vanillaice) September 11, 2014
Absolutely #breathtaking 9/11 tribute: cartoon dinosaur asking "memba dis?". Do u memba? Memba when the towers fell? pic.twitter.com/pFLSwncTa6
— Helena Bottom-Farter (@solikebasically) September 11, 2014
Never Forget (to build a bear) (now deleted) pic.twitter.com/YxNRS5rK9f
— Andrew Kaczynski (@BuzzFeedAndrew) September 11, 2014
The porn industry never forgets:
Today is 13th anniversary of 9/11. We remember those lost, & honor those still fighting for freedom. #911NeverForget pic.twitter.com/W0yFU73L7V
— Official Fleshlight (@Fleshlight) September 11, 2014
— Brazzers (@Brazzers) September 11, 2014
Rembering those who lost their lives on September 11, 2011.
40% OFF END OF SUMMER CLEARANCE… http://t.co/aAF3ENwtBr
— Intimacy Box (@intimacybox) September 11, 2014
And the gun companies! Oh, the gun companies will never forget, either:
For every victim. For every hero. For every person who was lost but never forgotten. Beretta Nation is United. pic.twitter.com/Z1F4kLjAMj
— BERETTA (@Beretta_USA) September 11, 2014
This #PatriotDay, please join us in remembering the innocent souls and heroes who lost their lives, as well as those they left behind.
— GLOCK Inc. (@GLOCKInc) September 11, 2014
A time to remember.
http://t.co/sfsMIY5ZTH
— Colt Firearms (@ColtFirearms) September 11, 2014
— Smith & Wesson Corp. (@SmithWessonCorp) September 11, 2014
The most boggling one, however, is this yoga studio pivoting from “inappropriate way to sell yoga mats” to “9/11 was an inside job”:
"Arlington Turther Yoga" is a real thing now.
Guys, stop, reset today nothing is good. https://t.co/uQGf26SkvT pic.twitter.com/bTbIiuokzK
— Kelsey D. Atherton (@AthertonKD) September 11, 2014
[h/t Joe Mande]
[Featured image via Shutterstock]
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