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Peggy Noonan Coins Funniest Newt Gingrich Nickname Yet: ‘Angry Little Attack Muffin’

by Frances Martel | 11:53 am, January 7th, 2012

» 30 comments

Who would’ve thought it was going to be Peggy Noonan who would coin the single most hilarious, funny-because-it’s-true nickname for what candidate Newt Gingrich has become in the sunset of the complimentary Republican primary surge every candidate (except Jon Huntsman) appears to be entitled to? Noonan’s campaign roundup in today’s Wall Street Journal takes a brutal look at all the candidates’ flaws– Mitt Romney‘s bland inevitability, Gingrich’s muffinness, Rick Perry‘s assumed privilege– and goes, somewhat surprisingly, softest on Rick Santorum.

“Mitt Romney’s victory in Iowa is underappreciated,” begins Noonan’s article, which goes on to describe the Republican Party as a conglomerate of three increasingly hostile factions: libertarians, social conservatives, and the moderate establishment types that support Romney. In that sense, Noonan seems to agree with Rachel Maddow that Santorum and Rep. Ron Paul have the ability to cancel each other out, to Romney’s favor. But unlike Maddow’s analysis, Noonan takes far more into consideration two other candidates: Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry.

Of the former, she notes that he is one of many delivering to Romney “a beating.” She does not mention Gingrich’s chances on their own but notes his attacks on Romney as his signature power in the Republican field, compiled with attacks from other candidates::

Right now Mr. Romney’s taking a beating. He’s everyone’s target, and in a way that speaks of something beyond the usual campaign ferocity. There’s something else going on, a taunting: “If you’re so inevitable how come I’m not afraid of you?” Newt Gingrich, angry little attack muffin, called Mr. Romney a liar. A Santorum fund-raising letter this week called Mr. Romney a “bland and boring career politician.” A radio ad for Mr. Paul: Nominating Romney is “a recipe for defeat.” Newt, in an interview: “He’s not truthful.”

Noonan then turns to the Perry campaign, and effectively dismisses it for one of the more eccentric reasons anyone else has: not because he botched many debate appearances or because there was no air this time around for so many religious social conservative in the race, but because he is simply too good at this political thing. “But maybe he’s not seeing that every few cycles the political gods choose someone who’s got everything—attractive, lots of money, a big state, a machine of sorts, or at least a bunch of operatives and hangers-on—and embarrass him. Just for fun,” she warns, “Because it pleases them… Do not fight the gods! The gods are fickle! They change their minds! But only later.”

She goes on to define Rick Santorum’s strength as “most especially a deep identification with and caring for the working class,” and does not seem to mind his reliosity as a facet of his campaign for the purposes of winning the primary. But Noonan does have serious reservations about Santorum– namely, his foreign policy, calling it “all George W. Bush and no George H.W. Bush,” something New Hampshire won’t go crazy for. Might not sound complimentary, but at least Noonan doesn’t think the gods are against him.

Mitt Romney, New Hampshire, newt gingrich, Peggy Noonan, Republicans, Rick Santorum, wall street journal

WiddleBabyDanielson

Funny.

Great complimentary picture, Frances.
Gloves Lucas Donahue

Peggy be getting her groove back.
Jane

Actually, it’s “muffin top”. Or did Breathless Peggy mean, “stud muffin”? One never knows, with Peggity.
http://twitter.com/SueDinNY SueDinNY

And who do we have now – happy, tall liar? Jolly, slim dictator? Jovial, athletic, corrupt treasonous kitten?
Christopher Regan

“reliosity”? You intended “religiosity”.
daveinboca

Huntsman’s sun never rose, so why would he even have a chance to “sunset.”. More drivel from the agitprop princess!
daveinboca

When will Martel attack the stick-insect now infesting the Oval Office.
Anonymous

NB – Peggy: Y’know, the Newster might now save a couple milligrams of his venom for you. Don’t back off; own it. He is a man of poor character, and deserves no accommodation.
http://PalinsDirtyLittleSecret.blogspot.com/ ExposeElectionFraudClickHere

Unelected officials have taken over Washington and are orchestrating the daily news. 99% of the comments and replies you’re reading online come from an NSA software program spamming the internet. Comments are created before the stories are ever reported. The oldest, first, highest, best, and most popular rated comments are all propaganda. They are conducting Psy-ops (psychological operations) for domestic spying. They have 1000′s of handles and are determined to bury the truth and attack anyone leaking it.

The next election is shaping up to be as big of a sham as the last. Do you know why Sarah Palin’s bus tour was really canceled? Do you know why she stayed 30 miles away from the second debate and chose the death of Steve Jobs to announce that she’s not running? Know what leaked out? Sarah Palin and Cain aren’t in the race for the same reason, the truth leaked out.
WiddleBabyDanielson

Do you hate all Americans or only Blah ones?
WiddleBabyDanielson

Do you hate all Americans or only Blah ones?
daveinboca

Mostly d-bags like you go do brainless blah blah blah like the obamanation of desolation…!
daveinboca

Don’t wet your depends over it….doucherlooney.
Anonymous

I like the Dressforeverygame comment a LOT.
Dale Hogue

I honestly believe Obama is making it up as he goes along. But, if he isn’t doing that, he’s stealing ideas from other places and other spaces in time.  For it seems to me I’ve heard his words before, they’re from an old familiar score. It’s a old melody from the days of FDR.  When he says those words again, I remember just when I heard them before.

Old political memories light the corners of his mind, misty water colored memories of the way things were. Please, he says, have them do it again, for he remembered just when he heard old idea cry and he looked into the deep blue Hawaiian sky and he believed.

Please have them play it again, he said, for I remember just when I heard those magic words before. They’re from and old black magic spell that Obana weaves so well.  Round and round he goes, in a spin, loving the political spin he’s in using that old black magic.

Most people ain’t got no place to go that doesn’t smell like that same old kind of hell they done smelled before. Maybe they’re ragged and funny cause they sure ain’t got a barrel of money, but they’re moving along shouting their song, side by side.

He doesn’t know that he’s got to have ideas that belong to him and him alone.  And if these ideas don’t work, whats the fun in that.  It would be better to stand pat. If he doesn’t put some smart stuff in the pot he will be making it up on the spot and, baby, that ain’t gonna work no way.
Anonymous

Does anyone know how Peggy got her nickname, “Nooners”?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_76F7SAA3N35X4IBY5BGVQML2YM James

Sushi-eating plow animals have a very funny sense of humor.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_76F7SAA3N35X4IBY5BGVQML2YM James

She’s not bad for a thin-lipped poll watcher.
Anonymous

I wasn’t aware that Romney had a “victory” in Iowa. I thought it was a tie or that Santorum actually received more votes.
http://twitter.com/RabbleRealist A Rabble Realist

Except that he didn’t attack Mitt Romney at all during the Saturday night debate. Just like when the media tried to say Biden was “the shark” and he had a dull debate performance too. It’s all such hogwash. They are all on the same corrupt team and playing a game. Cowards like NEwt who were afraid to even try to serve are a joke.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Casey-Sweete/100003307894715 Casey Sweete

That “little” don’t apply, does it? Oh! You aren’t referring to his body ” blimp” size.
Duke Chesnut

Peggy ‘Nooners’, A bland and boring has-been of the dying OLD Media.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4IEH4WSKGIN6TVMU4DNS77TL4U melina

@Brightmeadows:disqus Would you like to work from home? Read more here: http://1url.com/pUx and you will find out how to get a nice income every month.
Meg Larson

Do you have anything constructive to say? I thought not.
Anonymous

Gosh, Nooners, what name should we pin on you?
Anonymous

Gosh, Nooners, what name-calling should we throw your way? “Old-has been”?
Anonymous

More than 30 years after Pegasus’ claimed to pen a few one-liners for President Reagan, her stale rants about President Obama display her pursed-lip, pseudo-intellectual detachment from everyday reality. She’s tired and tiresome. Time for her to retire to a Republican cruise barge off Florida somewhere where the dolts will think she’s as smart as she thinks she is.
Anonymous

Sounds very sexy to me!
Anonymous

W T F is wrong with his ugly mouth?!
Anonymous

Ignorant bagger………………………