Hallmark Now Selling Sympathy Cards For Unemployed People

video

by Jon Bershad | 1:51 pm, September 27th, 2011

» 33 comments

Despite the best attempts from greeting card companies around the world, there are still like 50 days out of the year that haven’t been classified as holidays. So, in an attempt to boost sales, someone at Hallmark has come up a new demographic that, in America, is second only in size to “People Who Have Birthdays.” That’s right, they’re now releasing sympathy cards designed for those who have recently been laid off.

Yes, because there’s nothing unemployed people like more than knowing their friends still have enough money to spend $5.99 on a piece of paper.

From WLBZ:

“Hallmark recently rolled out a new line of layoff greeting cards.

Stores have a specific section for job loss and recession humor, offering words of support and encouragement.

With the unemployment rate at nine percent, the company says customers called-in the need.

One card reads ‘Don’t think of it as losing your job. Think of it as a time out between stupid bosses.’”

Bah ha ha ha! Man, if only unemployed people could spend food stamps on Dilbert books, they could really get over not having a job! Bosses are so stupid, am I right? Especially when they fire you and make it so you can’t feed your family and with each day you spend unemployed you get less and less hirable and why do I even need to get out bed today I mean it’s not like anyone expects me anywhere as I have absolutely nowhere to be and I could just die and no one would notice and I still have student loans.

Seriously though, funny, funny stuff. And apparently they’re selling well!

So, question to the unemployed amongst you, if someone showed up at your door right now with a brightly colored piece of paper featuring a cartoon dog, a pun, and a poorly recorded version of a 90s one-hit-wonder’s chorus as conciliation, how likely is the chance you’d punch them in the face? Just curious.

You can watch Indianapolis’ WTHR news report below where they ask these same questions:

(h/t Reddit)

Hallmark, Unemployment

Anonymous

Hallmark ran out of holidays to make up?
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PKEQSTA4WOBYU5Z7QNSBUR2LXI MASSMURDERMEDIA

not surprising coming from hallmark, the marketing geniuses behind phony-bologna holidays such as valentine’s day, mother’s/father’s day and secretary’s day… but then again, maybe unemployment wouldn’t be so high if people spent more on boss’s day…
http://mediamatters.org/ Leedog

I just picked-up a card to send to Mitt Romney, didn’t he recently complain about being unemployed??
Anonymous

another hallmark moment. vomit.
Anonymous

Congrats Mediaite on finally publishing an article on the jobs crisis.

Then again, you’ve published 10 times as many articles on Levi Johnston, but I am grateful for even small moves towards acknowledgment of reality on this website.
Anonymous

Deleted by author.
Anonymous

“reality on this website”………………………..ROTFLMOA
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NWVKX2P2QBPQ6FHQHCHVIC2ALQ Fedup in Florida

I was just getting ahead on my shopping list and picked one up for the president…

Gonna send it with one of those forever stamps.
Anonymous

How bad will it be for DIM LIBS in 2012? An inbred Leftist governor wants to ‘suspend elections for a couple years’ so that those DIM LIBS already ensconced run no risk of having a house dropped on them.

I know what’s coming, and so do they.

I LOVE this!
Anonymous

Obama Spends Weekend Signing Unemployment Cards And Licking Stamps !!!
Jason

I got Obama one too. It reads “Roses are red, violets are blue, Jimmy Carter sucked and so do you”
Jason

It’s about a year and a month before “Black Jesus” has to face the music for his disastrous performance. Expect the nuts who write for mediaite to go into full on protection mode from here on out. I give the site a couple more months before it’s completely intolerable. With the exception of Alex Alvarez, it pretty much already is.
Jason

Coming in a close second to the writers as reasons to avoid this site are the liberals who comment regularly. With rare exception they are the most vile, stupid human beings you will ever have the misfortune of coming into contact with.
Jason

Coming in a close second to the writers as reasons to avoid this site are the liberals who comment regularly. With rare exception they are the most vile, stupid human beings you will ever have the misfortune of coming into contact with.
Jason

Say Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa?!?!?!!?
Anonymous

Better get ready to send Barry a bunch!
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NWVKX2P2QBPQ6FHQHCHVIC2ALQ Fedup in Florida

I wonder if Hallmark has some sort of royalty/campaign arrangement with the president?
Broadhorizons

I’m not unemployed, but I must admit, getting a card like this would make me feel 1% better about my situation. Anything that could put a 15 second smile on my face during a difficult time is worth it.
Glutton

I would like to start sending people unemployment cards, just to see their reaction.
Glutton

LOL
Glutton

Wow, that’s very creative. How did you figure out that “Blue” rhymes with “you”?
Jason

You could start by sending one to Black Jesus. A year early, but i’m sure the sentiment will give him the warm and fuzzies.
Stígandr smith

I am so happy that for selling the sympathy cards to the Unemployed People.This cards benefit for those unemployment people who needs Job Please Purchase the Sympathy cards.
http://couponjet.org/newegg-promo-codes-newegg-com-coupons-coupon-codes.htm
cdnhawk

This site is almost intolerable already. Reading posts from geniuses like you and Michelle is painful.
cdnhawk

Mitt Romney could of used a box of those cards when he worked for Bain. Job creator my ass. He bought companies and then laid off employees and sold the assets.
http://mediamatters.org/ Leedog

Hallmark needs to come out with a card saying “Sorry you’re an idiot and that no one likes you”, so I can immediately send it to Sarah Palin!!
Anonymous

“Roses are red, violets are blue;

In 2012, Barack you’ll need a new job too!”

Now, I’ll get a job writing for Hallmark!

Thanks Barack for finally creating a job!
http://twitter.com/Good_Lt Good Lt.

Life in Obama’s America.

Sign of the times.
Anonymous

See…Obama IS creating jobs!
http://twitter.com/Good_Lt Good Lt.

Why don’t you get on that very important project and make it happen?
Anonymous

How about some HATE cards with Obama’s “What-Me-Worry” picture on the front?
On the inside…..a personalized photo of the purchaser saluting the Kenyan usurper with the middle finger of one hand and a scrotum-grab salute with the other hand.
Ex_hallmarker

well, if Hallmark bought a card like this to send to everyone THEY have laid off in the last 4-5 years…they’d be broke!!! Shame on them. Used to be everyone thought if you got laid off, it was your own fault.Oh, it is-! for getting old and costing the company too much $$ in benefits. Ask anyone who has worked there, just got a great performance review, and was laid off a month later at age 49, 58, 60, etc. Age discrimination is alive and thriving at lots of companies, just like Hellmark….I mean Hallmark.
Birthday Greeting Cards

Birthdays are a special day in a person’s life. Our Wish-N-Inspire motivational and inspirational greeting cards are ideal for making this special day even more special for your children, employees, friends, family members and subordinates. We have developed birthday greeting cards based on a variety of concepts. We will continuously develop more and more birthday greeting cards.