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Jon Stewart Mocks Holographic ‘Dildo People’ In CNN’s Iowa Coverage

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» 41 comments

Jon Stewart had a lot on his plate today, with the Iowa caucuses cramming a week’s worth of news into the wee hours of the night early Wednesday morning. Stewart gave every candidate their turn, and praised everyone from Rick Santorum to Mitt Romney for sticking with it. One entity notably getting moans and groans from Stewart for its inanity: CNN, for its “weeble” cyber-illustration of the caucuses.

RELATED: Watch The Entire CNN Team Lose It At 1:30 AM Waiting For Iowa Results

Stewart began with some footage of the actual Iowa caucuses, which he couldn’t bring himself to mock because they were so “beautiful.” “It looks like a historical reenactment,” he noted, suggesting that “it would be instructive for it to just play out in real time over the cameras.” Instead, CNN used “weebles,” what Stewart described as “cybernetic, multi-colored featureless dildo people” after he yelled “Why????” at the screen for a good minute. “There are rooms in 99 counties that are filled with real people demonstrating the thing that you are trying to explain!”

He then turned to the candidates, and had some good words for Rick Perry and his “completely unjustified enthusiasm after a fifth place ass-kicking,” mocked the Marcus Bachmann “doggie sunglasses moment,” and sat in awe as Rep. Ron Paul‘s crowd cheered Ludwig von Mises. “It’s like being at a Jimmy Buffet show and being like ‘why is everybody wearing a parrot on their head?’”

The segment via Comedy Central below:

Part 1:

Part 2:

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  • Anonymous

    It’s awesome how you can make a comedy show out of quoting republicans verbatim

    ps…Marcus Bachmann would have made a great First Lady.

  • D L

    CNN was pretty good last night. The Fox News people (who I normally watch) were so stiff and full of disappointment, at who knows what.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7RQ3BYT543OCYDUVW4U4NJVM5Y Mary

    There is no one like Jon Stewart. He is so funny and real that I just love him.

  • http://twitter.com/Staciisa_bitch Staci Chase

    Stewart is on fire!!  I agree CNN was good. I heard from a lot of my friends that Fox looked uninterested and boring.

  • Hout Bosques

    I particularly liked Stewart’s using a Charles Nelson Reilly voice for the joke on Marcus’ expression on being outed for the doggy sunglasses.

  • Hout Bosques

    Yeah, but a lot more stiff, sad people watched Fuppet News with their disappointment spilling over their TV tables. FNC still kicks ass with the ass-less set.

  • OSTL

    how progressive

  • Anonymous

    Their erotic morphology aside, true weebles “wobble but they don’t fall down”. Phallopodis Pastelae is their proper name.  They are known as an upstanding people.

  • Anonymous

    Hahahaha! The last minute of this segment is priceless!

  • Booberry Pah

    Why is it every time Stewart is around dildos, his mouth is wide open and his hands are extended in a receiving fashion?

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  • Anonymous

    The ass-less set?  From the sound of it, they have plenty …

  • Anonymous

    He’s a tolerant, “accepting” man, perhaps?  (I think he does it on purpose for the laughs, though, actually.)

  • http://twitter.com/Staciisa_bitch Staci Chase

    Do you know what a screen shot is??  All you Republicans can’t be this stupid.  

  • Anonymous

    Oh yes they can.

  • Anonymous

    Think about that a lot huh?

  • 12voltman1

    Funny, You were the first to post about the dido comment.

  • Anonymous

    The moment of Zen at the end of the show was what sounded like Cooper telling the folks in that segment that Jon would ruthlessly mock them. Very funny.

  • http://gregingleright.weebly.com/ Greg

    Very good stuff.

  • Just Ed

    Continually making jokes which belittle others is a form of bullying.  Those who seek out this kind of humor get their ego’s reinforced by aligning themselves behind someone who is a strong outspoken character and the center of attention, something they envy.  Other than that John’s innocent look is really almost kind’a likeable …as are his fans.

    ^Actually I was trying to give an example of how this kind of humor routine works^`.

    That said, the “Weeble” people gave me a bit of a chuckle. John was right that CNN using computer generated graphics is overkill and the little wooden caricatures are condescending to the real people who they could just as easily have shown.. 

    Guess I am not immune to his seductive comedic charm?  Darn!

  • Anonymous

    I’d have thought the dildos would have shown up on the O’Reilly Factor.

    Just like every other night.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Staciisa_bitch Staci Chase

    I wonder if Jon Stewart is cut ?

  • Anonymous

    Comedy Central doesn’t edit much. When they do, they throw it up on the interweb.

  • Anonymous

    Please tell us what the dildo receiving hand gesture fashions are.
    The straight among us wonder.

  • Anonymous

    Is a Republican screen shot like a Money Shot, without a real woman in front of you?

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Staciisa_bitch Staci Chase

    It will take more than poorly quoted Rammstein lyrics.

  • Anonymous

    German really.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Staciisa_bitch Staci Chase

    German nonsense ?

  • http://hotair.com/ StewartIII
  • Anonymous

    I believe you mean he would have made a FABULOUS First Lady.

  • Anonymous

    Well, if it’s any good, why are you still single and looking?
    And, just a helpful suggestion here, but it’s best not to advertise the fact that you’re trying to land a whale. Try your best to conceal it.
    If you can.
    And if you can’t, that might explain why you’re still looking.

  • Anonymous

    “Continually making jokes which belittle others is a form of bullying”

    Are you serious?
    He was mocking those who are eminently mockable, as they either seek to grab power for which they are manifestly unqualified, or whom have already succeeded in grabbing that power.
    Over us. Me, in particular.
    But thanks for the display of psychobabble. It was a nice pantsful.

  • Anonymous

    Didn’t he look as though he’d been caught and maybe the “doggie sunglasses” was an excuse because he was actually off somewhere ”shucking some corn?”

  • Anonymous

    Because he roomed with Weiner all those years ?

  • Just Ed

    Did you miss my disclaimer:

    “^Actually I was trying to give an example of how this kind of humor routine works^”

    or do you really think that CNN is using little wooden people to steal power from you?

  • Anonymous

    I was responding to the part that I quoted. I said nothing about the rest.

  • Anonymous

    You mean the “not quite in the closet, not quite out” look?

  • Just Ed

    Then the simple answer is that I am serious, but it might be best if you take the entire post into consideration and in context before accusing someone’s pants being full.  …Just sayin’

  • http://twitter.com/TommyBennett Tom Bennett

    Hilarious. 

  • Anonymous

    I guess.

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