Wisconsin Brewery Promises Half-Price Beer When Mitch McConnell’s Death Is Announced

J. Scott Applewhite/AP Photo/ Screenshot

They’ll be drinking on the cheap at this Wisconsin brewery on the day Sen. Mitch McConnell’s (R-KY) death is announced.

The Minocqua Brewing Company — which previously courted controversy when owner Kirk Bangstad claimed he would offer free beer when President Donald Trump dies — announced a half-price beer deal for whenever the 84-year-old Kentucky senator’s death is made public.

In a lengthy Instagram post, the brewery eviscerated Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear (D) for not calling a special election amid the ailing McConnell’s nearly two-month absence.

The post came Monday, the deadline under an untested state law for Beshear to call a special election. The brewery is also selling a shirt with a cartoon of McConnell in a Weekend at Bernie’s-like scene that shows Trump propping him up.

There’s no love lost for McConnell, whom the brewery referred to as “Rigor Tortoise:”

Well, folks, if our logic is right, we’re supposed to get the news today that “Rigor Tortoise” kicked the bucket about two months ago.

Why today?

Because so-called “Establishment Democratic Hero” and modern day gutless member of the do-nothing opposition party — Governor Andy Beshear — failed to call a special election to replace the “ghost from Kentucky” before August 3rd — which means by Kentucky law, the seat will go unfilled until January.

Thanks for letting them get away with it, Governor Beshear. As always, it appears your high-priced consultants, paid for by the special interests that tell you what to do, decided that throwing the rank and file a bone and holding McConnell’s folks accountable for lying to the American public wasn’t good strategy — so we’re once again left wondering what happened to the rule of law.

No matter, because there’s an impending celebration to be had!

When they announce that McConnell’s Faustian dance has finally ended, we’re gonna start serving our beer at “half price,” because we promised #halfpricebeerday on the day they unplug the ventilator.

Why #halfpricebeerday? because McConnell caused about half of all America’s current problems, and #freebeerday has already been reserved for someone much more special.

There’s one rule, however. The party doesn’t start until owner Kirk can make it to one of his taprooms in #madison or #minocqua. Since he’s currently in Wisconsin, if we hear the news this week, we expect he’ll get to one of his taprooms within a few hours.

We’ve been selling #halfpricebeerday t-shirts for this party for weeks, so please wear yours when you come by. We’d suggest you buy one of these t-shirts today, but it’s pretty clear that you wouldn’t get it in time for the party.

Instead, your best bet is to invest heavily in our #freebeerday collection, because — ladies and gentlemen — that global party is gonna be way more epic than the one we’re probably gonna have this week.

McConnell was found unconscious in his Washington, D.C., home on June 14, and taken by ambulance to the hospital.

His office repeatedly refused to share details of the senator’s condition as rumors swirled about his health status and criticism mounted as to the need for transparency — with some slamming Republicans who later claimed to have spoken to McConnell on the phone while he recovered in a rehabilitation center.

McConnell’s staff eventually released two different proof-of-life photos of the senator.

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